Today’s post in the series Hospitality – Opening Doorways to the Kingdom is written by Lynne Baab.
Lynne Baab’s recent book, The Power of Listening: Building Skills for Mission and Ministry , focuses on the many ways listening undergirds congregational life. She discusses many obstacles to listening, one of which she explains here. Lynne is a Presbyterian minister and lecturer in pastoral theology. Visit her website at www.lynnebaab.com.
I view listening as a key skill for hospitality in all its forms. Imagine a traditional hospitality setting: you are offering a traveler a place to sleep. “What do you need right now?” you ask. “A shower? A nap? The wifi password? A cup of tea?” You listen to the response and try to meet the traveler’s need. In addition, you may need to listen to subtle cues that help you know what the traveler needs.
Meal times are another typical hospitality setting, and listening plays a key role in mealtime conversations. I have sat through many meals where one person is talking, talking, talking . . . taking up all the air time and dominating the conversation. And I have enjoyed many meals where the host or someone else draws people out and listens carefully. A world of difference!
The connections between listening and hospitality go far beyond lodging and meals, however. I have a very broad definition of hospitality as I described in an earlier post. I see hospitality as an open stance toward others, a receptivity to who they are and what they have to offer. I see hospitality as a welcome to others that can happen in a short conversation or a long-standing relationship. This kind of welcome and receptivity requires good listening skills and the willingness to stop talking long enough to hear deeply from the other.
One of the obstacles to this kind of listening comes from our fears that if we listen deeply and carefully to someone we disagree with, we will be communicating tacit agreement to their perspective. Imagine I have just met someone new in my workplace, and a few random comments she makes leads me to believe she practices a religion very different from mine. If I draw her out about her religious practices, will she think I agree with them? Or perhaps she expresses a political opinion diametrically opposed to mine. If I draw her out about her political convictions, will she think I give assent to them?
The authors of a communication textbook write, “There is a difference between understanding and agreeing with a speaker. We need to develop new psychological habits that encourage us to keep an open mind and a positive attitude to the motivation behind what is communicated to us orally.”[1]
These communication scholars might recommend language like this: “Tell me about X”(when X is the thing I profoundly disagree with). “Tell me what motivated you to get involved.” We indicate our openness to understanding what lies behind the other person’s commitment. We open ourselves to the other person’s story. At some point in the conversation we are free to say, “Wow, I don’t agree with the conclusion you came to, but it’s very interesting to see where your convictions came from. Tell me more about how you got there.”
As long as we believe that listening implies agreement, our ability to be truly hospitable to the people we meet will be truncated. We won’t listen well because we will be fearful that we will hear something we disagree with and that we won’t know how to respond. All of us can grow in believing that listening does not imply agreement, that understanding other people’s stories, motivations and thought processes will enrich us even if we disagree with them.
[1] Terry Mohan, Helen McGregor, Shirley Saunders, and Ray Archee, Communicating! Theory and Practice, 4th ed. (Sydney: Harcourt Brace, 1992), 417.
Today’s post in the series Hospitality – Opening Doorways to the Kingdom, is written by Mark Votava.
As I have lived at the Tacoma Catholic Worker for the past four years I have learned a lot about hospitality as a way of life together with others. I am learning to share life with people I did not think I had anything in common with. The particular house I live in is called The Guadalupe House and the primary function of its hospitality is proving showers, transitional housing, meals and mail to friends who struggle to have these basics needs met in their everyday lives.
- A weekly liturgy dinner for the poor
We have four meals every week together and on Tuesday nights we do a weekly liturgy dinner for the poor where our friends can come and share their spirituality with others in a nonjudgmental way. A lot of our friends live in shelters, cars or sleep outside. Some of our friends also have houses and apartments too. This is beautiful because it brings the poor and the middle class together in friendship and love.
- Finding the commonalities rather than our differences
At the dinner table everyone is equal as we find our commonalities in realizing that we all need to eat whether we have a lot of money or not. I am eating with folks of different races, languages, classes, ages. This has been so countercultural and beautiful to experience. The lesson I am constantly learning is to find the commonalities with others rather than our differences.
- Using our houses in a hospitable way
The Tacoma Catholic Worker has eight houses all within one block in our neighborhood. It is kind of like an urban village where the poor are welcomed and not shunned. We use our houses in a hospitable way where we live with others anywhere from several months to several years. We give our friends a place to work on their goals of getting income, work, housing, sobriety, reestablishing relationships with children and becoming healthy physically and mentally.
- Providing a refuge for someone struggling with immigration
There is an ICE detention center for immigrants close by and we recently have worked with an organization that helps get others out to work on their immigration. One of the rooms at The Guadalupe House is for someone coming from ICE. It is a blessing to provide a refuge for someone that is struggling with immigration and a new life in this country.
- Seeing Christ in the poor
I am learning so much from the Tacoma Catholic Worker. One thing our community constantly practices is seeing Christ in the poor by our compassion, love and hospitality in everyday life together. I see the Tacoma Catholic Worker as an expression of being the church together in our neighborhood where we live out the works of mercy with others who are hurting and lonely.
- Eating together and showing hospitality could change everything
The simple acts of eating together and showing hospitality in the place we live could change the body of Christ and the world around us. This is the most revolutionary thing I have ever seen and experienced. As I continue on in my journey here, the poor will continually teach me of Christ among us.
How can we practice hospitality as a way of life?
Two Big Announcements!
- An Introduction to Celtic Spirituality – a new FREE resource from Mustard Seed Associates.
- Celtic Prayer Retreat Early Bird Special extended to Sunday, July 6th.
Together with Kari Rauh, I have worked hard to put together An Introduction to Celtic Spirituality which complements well our upcoming Celtic Prayer Retreat. This resource is filled with personal insights, prayers, litanies, a resource list and a bit about our Celtic dream for Mustard Seed Village where the retreat is held.
When you register for the retreat you are not only signing up to participate in the event, you’re also helping us to transform this dream into a reality!
For those of you who have been with us before, you’ll notice an amazing change already. Our first building is up and, though not yet completed, we’ll be able to gather inside and enjoy the creative efforts of our architech, David Vandervort, and the work of many amazing volunteers – have you seen the slideshow of the progress yet?
The retreat is a whole day (or the weekend!) with times for common and private prayer and reflection, music led my Matt and Sundee Frazier, prayer trails, a labrynth, activities for both children and adults, liturgies from Christine Sine, a Eucharistic meal lead by Rev John Myers of St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church in Seattle and, of course, a potluck lunch and BBQ dinner!
A couple of weeks ago, I spoke at a seminary class about spirituality and gardening. It was a fun class, but one question asked by a student keeps intruding in my mind. Didn’t God curse the creation after the fall? he asked, implying that it no longer reflected the glory of God and that we no longer needed to respect and look after it.
As I read through Genesis 3 which is the basis for this belief, I am struck by God’s amazing care for the humans who disobeyed him. Yes the ground was cursed (Gen 3:17-19), but it was not God who cursed it, it was the consequence of Adam’s sin. The natural created world was some how affected by by the human fall into sin and is therefore no longer paradise. Brambles and weeds grew. Human toil to produce food and care for creation increased. Nowhere however is there any implication that we are absolved from our responsibility to care for creation.
What has fascinated me in the last few weeks is a contemplation of the thorns, the thistles, and the weeds that seem to be a part of the consequences of the human fall. Some of them produce the most delicious and nutritious food we can eat, as we can see in this video
Take the humble dandelion for instance. Its leaves are often used in salads. Its root for medicinal tea and its flowers in jams and jelly. It helps break up the soil and draws nutrients up from deep within the soil. It is an amazing and valuable plant. Read more about dandelions and links to recipes here
Then there is the blackberry which grows wild prolifically throughout the Pacific NW. Its fruit blesses us with delicious pies and jams. Every year in August Tom and I travel to Mayne Island Canada with our Canadian friends Tom and Kim Balke, for a few days holiday. One of the delights of our trip is picking blackberries and wild apples to make blackberry apple crumble.
Snails are another pest that can be a delicacy for many. Ironically some people love escargot and spend big bucks to buy them and the complain about the snails that destroy their gardens.
And in many Asian countries, tarantulas, crickets and ants are all considered delicacies.
It seems to me that part of the curse we suffer from is our inability to recognize the abundance and hospitality of God in the garden that is our earth. God is a generous God who invites us to a banquet feast, not just in the eternal world to come but here in this world too. Often all we need to do is reach out and recognize the gift and accept God’s amazing hospitality.
I posted these couple of breath prayers on the Light for the Journey page this week. Their popularity encouraged me to post them here as well. I find that prayers like this are powerful ways to keep the presence of God with us throughout the day. Whenever I get anxious or uptight because there seems to be too much to do, I love to pause and recite one of these prayers while slowly breathing in and out.
This first one I wrote some years ago as a reminder of the fact that breath is something that cannot be held onto – we breathe in and fill ourselves with life, but we cannot keep breathing in unless we also exhale and share it with the world. Breath is life giving when we draw it into our bodies, but it can also be life giving when we share it with someone else as in CPR.
Breathe in the love of God,
Breathe out and share it with the world.
Breathe in the peace of God,
Breathe out and share it with the world.
Breathe in the life of God,
Breathe out and share it with the world.
Breathe in all that is of God,
Breathe out and share it with the world.
———————————————-
The second prayer is a reminder that the Holy Spirit is the breath of God that breathes life into us and into all we touch. God intends that we are filled with the spirit so that we can breathe out life into the world.
Holy Spirit, breath of God,
Fill us with love for God.
Holy Spirit, breath of God,
Fill us with love for neighbour.
Holy Spirit, breath of God,
Fill us with life renewed.
Holy Spirit, breath of God,
Breathe on us,
breathe with us,
breathe through us.
Icon – jesus heals the blind man
So many of my friends seem to be ill at the moment that I have been using this litany of healing on a regular basis and thought that some of you might appreciate it too. I wrote this litany several years ago as part of the e-book A Journey Into God’s Resurrection Created World.
Loving and compassionate God,
Lord of all health and wholeness
We are fearfully and wonderfully made
Thank you for your miracle of healing
You gift our bodies with incredible means of protection and repair
Immune systems that shield and heal us
Wounds that heal, bones that knit, tissues that repair themselves
Thank you for your miracle of healing
You gift our world with plants and herbs that cure our diseases
They provide our medicines and pain killers
They form the basis of our antibiotics and antiseptics
Thank you for your miracle of healing
You gift our lives with your healing life
Your Cross that saves and redeems us
The bread and wine that draws us into your presence
Thank you for your miracle of healing
Pause to remind yourself of times at which you have experienced God’s healing presence.
Scripture readings
Psalm 139
Exodus 15: 22-27
Matthew 8: 14-17
James 5: 13 – 16
God you are the great physician but often you use others as your instruments of healing. Today we honour doctors and nurses and all that cooperate with God in the healing process in the words of Ecclesiasticus 38:1-15
Hold the physician in honour, for he is essential to you,
and God it was who established his profession.
From God the doctor has his wisdom, and the king provides for his sustenance.
His knowledge makes the doctor distinguished, and gives him access to those in authority.
God makes the earth yield healing herbs which the prudent man should not neglect;
Was not the water sweetened by a twig that men might learn his power?
He endows men with the knowledge to glory in his mighty works,
Through which the doctor eases pain and the druggist prepares his medicines;
Thus God’s creative work continues without cease in its efficacy on the surface of the earth.
My son when you are ill, delay not, but pray to God, who will heal you;
Flee wickedness; let you hands be just, cleanse your heart of every sin;
Offer your sweet-smelling oblation and petition, a rich offering according to your means.
Then give the doctor his place lest he leave; for you need him too.
There are times that give him an advantage, and he too beseeched God
That his diagnosis may be correct and his treatment bring about a cure.
He who is a sinner toward his Maker will be defiant toward the doctor.
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours, now and forever. Amen
Pause to pray for those who are in need of healing
Jesus you came to save and heal us
You healed the sick and raised the dead,
You touched lepers and outcasts,
Heal those we love who are sick today.
Jesus you came to save and heal us.
You stopped on the way to the rich man’s daughter,
To heal the woman abandoned and despised because of an issue of blood,
May we reach out to help all who suffer from AIDS and malaria and TB today.
Jesus you came to save and heal us
You raised a poor woman’s son from death,
And promised that one day all children will have a full life,
Be with those who have cancer and chronic illnesses today.
Jesus you came to save and heal us
You gave you disciples power to cure disease,
And sent them out to heal the sick and to preach the good news of the kingdom,
Be with those who suffer from mental illnesses today.
Jesus you came to save and heal us
May we too be worthy disciples and become your caring hands,
Anointing others with your healing balm and binging them to health and wholeness.
Give wisdom to those who suffer from allergies and food intolerances today.
Jesus you came to save and heal us, have mercy on us.
God you heal our wounds and cure our diseases. May we never take for granted your healing touch or the wonderful systems you have placed within our bodies to keep us healthy. May we never take for granted the wonder of tissues that heal and bones that knit. May we view with awe our immune systems that destroy bacteria and viruses. May we embrace with gratitude the medicinal plants that give birth to antibiotics, heart stimulants and pain killers. May we never reject the power of your body that was broken and your blood that was shed to bring us wholeness.
God of health,
God of wholeness,
God of love
Heal our bodies
Heal our souls
Heal our spirits
Redeem our lives
Go into the world knowing you are touched by the God who heals
May your life shine with the holiness of God
Let your heart be transformed by the peace of Christ
Let your ways be filled with the joy of the spirit
Amen
I wrote this litany several years ago as part of the e-book An Easter Celebration. It was also posted as part of a series on healing. Here are the other articles in the series:
What does the Bible Say About Doctors and Healing
This morning I started reading The New Parish by Paul Sparks, Tim Soerens and Dwight Friesen. It is one of the most thought provoking, tear jerking and stimulating book I have read for a long time. It gives me hope for the future of Christianity, and fills me with awe as I explore some of the new ways that God is at work in our world.
This book is full of wonderful stories of ordinary people who have changed their neighbourhoods and their world. Stories like that of Martha Rollins, a woman in her seventies who in 2001 started a ministry called Boaz and Ruth in Richmond Virginia with a team of ex-prisoners who were convicted sex offenders. By 2009 Boas and Ruth renovated over a dozen buildings and opened several small businesses. Their work contributed to a 61% decrease in crime in the neighbourhood.
There is renewal happening in neighbourhoods across the world and as the authors say
This incredible renewal is happening in large part because people like Martha Rollins and the team at Boaz and Ruth have realized their is no controlling technique, no magic code or habits of highly effective people that can take the place of practicing love, friendship and Spirit-led collaboration within the neighbourhood.
One of the challenges of this book is the reminder that relationships not knowledge bring transformation. Unfortunately, like Adam and Eve we still tend to grasp after Godlike knowledge and power at the expense of relationship. As the authors remind us, That often results in
” elevating people as leaders who are not really skilled in the very basic practice of being human, let alone the task of leadership. Just because a person is extraverted, has lots of ideas or is a compelling communicator does not necessarily mean he or she is worth following. This may not be the case everywhere, but in the parish, authority requires the fruit of the Spirit.
The invitation to rethink both how we do ministry and how we lead is such an important one. As you know, several years ago the Mustard Seed team started using the Quaker discernment process as a model for our team meetings. This has not just transformed the ways that we relate to each other but also what we do as ministry. We are a leadership team which respects and encourages the gifts of everyone involved in a project. Decisions for new projects and programmes is made collaboratively, and as often as possible in partnership with other organizations too. Maybe that is part of the reason this book resonated so much with me.
I really think that this is one of the most important books on the church that I have read for a long time. The New Parish model could revolutionize the church and our Christian communities bringing us back to be the people God intends us to be – loving and caring for each other in the places God has planted us.
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