By Sara Easterly —
God, help me remember the great honor it is to have these children in my life.
When I’m full of frustration because the kids don’t listen, or they talk back, or they fight with each other, or fight with me, help me to pause, to breathe, to forgive, to gently guide, and always, to love.
Help me to parent as you parent – not forcing your way, never leaving even when I behave badly, being steady enough to handle anything that might come, staying present in spite of being pulled in a bazillion different directions, not demanding gratefulness or piling on guilt even when 99.9998% of the job is completely thankless, loving no matter what.
I will never be you, but help me to try and try some more, all the same. Give me the energy and relentlessness to keep going, to get up each day with a prayer and a fresh start.
Thank you for seeing in me the mother I don’t always see in myself. Thank you for your faith in me – always – even when I’m absolutely certain I’m totally screwing it all up.
Thank you for surrounding me with a community of support. Help me to recognize and use the wide net of caring adults you’ve brought into our lives – family, teachers, pastors, coaches, neighbors, aunties, other parents, dear friends. They keep me sane and expand on what I can give when they share their unique perspectives, gifts, and love with my children. Help me discern when to pull others in, when to step out of their way, and also to know when it’s a job that’s meant exclusively for me.
Help keep my words from hurling and hurting. When they do, help me take ownership for my frustration and immaturity, remembering to apologize and to remind the kids that our relationship is stronger than any angry words I might spew.
I do not know the hair-count on my kids’ heads. Still, help me yearn to know my children as deeply as you know them. May I help them know themselves that deeply, too, so they don’t look to their peers to decide who they are or should be.
Help me remember not to take myself too seriously – to make lots of room for play and laughter and silliness and joy.
Thank you for entrusting these children to me. Help me remember that they don’t belong to me. They are their own unique individuals. You have a plan for them. May I do right by them, and by you, raising them into precisely the people you wish them to be.
Thank you for mothers everywhere. Please spread your love especially over mothers suffering from anxiety, depression, doubts, exhaustion, grief, loneliness, strained relationships, overload, or separation of any kind from their children. Bless us all so that we may bless each other and in turn, bless this hurting world.
Thank you that motherhood lasts forever. On days when this feels like a cruel trap, help me see the incredible blessing in this – that I have not only my lifetime, but also the rest of eternity, to honor and love these children according to your thoughtful design.
Amen.
by Christine Sine
I have a confession to make. Tom and I are addicted to Grand Designs, an intriguing British reality show in which each episode documents a unique home-build or renovation from start to finish. A few nights ago we watched two episodes that followed two men who built their homes in response to life changing illnesses.
Bram Vis’s house on Isle of Wright
The first episode was a financial advisor who spent more than a week in a coma following a brain hemorrhage. Following his recovery, Bram Vis and his wife Lisa build an enormous house on the Isle of Wight. Their original £850k budget spirals out of control and the final cost was close to £3 million.
The following episode was about Angelo Mastropietro, who after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis purchased an abandoned cave house in Worcestershire. The cave had probably been inhabited on and off for over a thousand year and to help him cope with his diagnosis, he planned to almost single handedly, create a contemporary but modest dwelling for on a £100,000 budget. His house is now available on airb&b Britain
What particularly struck me was the contrast between Bram and Angelo. Bram’s illness seemed to leave him with a grand sense of entitlement and the feeling that the world owed him anything that he wanted. The episode ends with him hunched over his financial books trying to figure out how he will continue to pay for his gigantic mortgage. He has little time to notice the restful beauty of the sea around his creation. I wonder if another stroke is inevitable and how his family will cope with the aftermath. (Latest information on the house is that it is on the market for £3.9 million.)
Angelo on the other hand obviously relishes the task before him, and though he ends up needing more help than he expected, finishes his one bedroom cave house for little more than his original budget. This episode ends with Angelo, his family and his friends sitting out on the newly created patio enjoying a glass of good wine and BBQ and enjoying the forest view. His project seems to have given him new life and possibly helped improve his health.
Are We Doing Violence to Our Souls?
As I reflected on these episode I was reminded of a Thomas Merton quote in Parker Palmer’s latest book On the Brink of Everything.
There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence to which the idealist… most easily succumbs: activism and overwork. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation in violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his work… It destroys the fruitfulness of his own work. because it kills the root of the inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.
Palmer goes on to comment
Merton names one of our deepest needs: to protect and nurture the “root of inner wisdom” that makes work and life itself fruitful…. We can live that way only if we know when and where to seek sanctuary, reclaiming our souls for the purpose of loving the world. (On the Brink of Everything 140)
It seems to me that Bram is doing violence to his soul by over committing time and resource to his grand dream. Angelo on the other hand seems to have found a place of peace and sanctuary through his building.
How often do we too do violence to our souls through over work and overcommitment because we don’t know where to find sanctuary for our souls or how to nurture our inner wisdom?
As I thought about this I realized that there are a number of ways I have in the past done violence to my soul. I have overworked and over committed myself sometimes because I thought God wanted me to, at other times just because I couldn’t relax and work was the only part of my life that was in focus.
Eugene Peterson’s The Message comes to mind:
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”(Matthew 11:28-30)
Recognizing that God does not intend us to overwork but invites instead into a rhythm of balance and relaxation is not only liberating but it is one of the best ways to free ourselves from the tendency to do violence to our souls.
Do We Know Where to Seek Sanctuary?
And where do we find sanctuary for our souls?
Morning doodle
You don’t have to build a house to find out.
Take a few minutes to prayerfully reflect on this today.
Take out your journal or a clean sheet of paper and some colored pens.
Close your eyes and create a free form doodle with your non dominant hand for 30 seconds repeating the question “Where do I find sanctuary for my soul?”
Open your eyes and prayerfully reflect on your doodle. What catches your attention?
Respond by coloring the shapes that emerge.
As I conducted this exercise this morning I realized that it is not the “grand designs: of my life – my writing and activism that provide me with sanctuary for my soul I find it in the small spaces of my life – the breathing exercises, reciting of poems, awe and wonder walks around Greenlake with Tom. Most of all I find sanctuary in fully entering into Sabbath each Sunday and to make sure that happens I need to plan my week so that I don’t feel tempted to write blog posts on Sundays or get ready for speaking engagements.
I love living a life with that revolves around God’s unforced rhythms of grace where my soul is nurtured by the quiet contemplative practices that center me and provide sanctuary. To do this however I must:
Plan ahead,
Commit to nurturing practices
Say no to overwork
Rest in the unforced rhythms of grace.
What is God saying to you in this moment? Where do you find sanctuary?
By Lilly Lewin
Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 The Message (MSG)
Sometimes it’s hard to be cheerful. Sometime even we Ennegram 7’s have a hard time finding the good in things and find it hard to be thankful.
As a person who deals with depression and anxiety, it’s sometimes easy to get stuck in a place of frustration and darkness rather than living in a place of light and thanksgiving. I don’t think our political climate, or the news help us either. In the past couple of years, I’ve needed to actually practice being grateful and look for the good news in our world. It’s about a month until we celebrate Thanksgiving here in America, so I am re-starting my gratitude/thankfulness practice this week and inviting people to join me. Each day I’m taking the time to write down what I am thankful for and actually taking the time to draw it out and post it on my Instagram @lillylewin.
#30daysofThankful #30DaysofThankfulness
I’d love you to join me in this practice and actually practice being thankful.
Take time each day to notice the things that bring you joy.
Take time to thank Jesus for the basics of life as well as the big things.
Get your family involved too! or your roommates or small group or your entire church community. Start now till Thanksgiving Day or start November 1st and go all the way to November 30th. Make a List! I’m doing a simple 3 a day, but you might want to list more. You could take photographs of the things you see that make you thankful, like your puppy, a rainbow or a friend’s smiling face! You could make a thankful collage, adding to it each day the words, phrases, and photographs of things you are grateful for, things that make you thankful.
And if you are looking for some good news things you can be thankful for, check out these videos and stories on line:
A reality TV star returns the favor….Watch Mike Rowe’s facebook video series
A former inmate gets a second chance…Playing Basketball
A seminary goes to prison…Northpark
My new favorite musical artist goes to prison to sing….Lauren Daigel
“Under the radar, some aspects of life on Earth are getting dramatically better.” Some Graphics
And finally, a great song that I’m thankful for.
I pray that these will bring you some hope today and you will be filled with joy and gratitude in the midst of everything.
by Christine Sine
November 1st is All Saint’s Day. This is one of my favourite celebrations as I love to look back and remind myself of those who have impacted my life – some are friends who still surround me, others are saints and supporters who have now joined the heavenly throng.The death of Eugene Peterson a couple of days ago has made me very aware of how important a celebration like this is and so I thought I would repost (with a few changes) this post from 3 years ago.
Remembering those who impact our lives, those who have gone before and those who are still with us is an important part of our faith.
The Episcopal Church website explains:
We step aside from the flow of the propers and celebrate all the saints. We stop. We notice, We are surrounded by a flock of witnesses in our midst – many who have gone before us, some we are just now releasing, and still more with a full life ahead of them.
I love the Anglican tradition of renewing our baptismal vows on this day. Reminding ourselves of the journey we have taken personally is a good place to start in remembering the saints of God. In this tradition, all baptized Christians, living and dead known and unknown are considered saints of God.
This is a special day for celebrating. First take time to reflect on your own faith journey. Remember the faithfulness of God in your past and name the people who have been particularly impacting in shaping your own faith. Notice the movement of God in the present and pray for those who continue to mentor and support you. Think about your hopes and dreams for the future and those who will help these come into being. Celebrate all that you are as a saint of God.
Celebrate At Church
If you really want to celebrate the spiritual significance of All Saints Day, a good liturgical church is the place to do so.
At St Andrew’s Episcopal which we attend, in the weeks before All Saints’ Day we prepare a ribbon of remembrance for All Saints’ Day. Write the names of those who have died on white ribbons that are then wound around the altar rail on All Saints’ Day. This is a wonderful way to reflect on the lives of those you love but have lost.
St Aidan’s Episcopal church on Camano Island where we worshipped a couple of years ago set up a special “remembering” table in the nave. The congregation was invited to bring photos or small memorabilia of dear ones who have gone before us and place them on the table. During the worship on All Saint’s Day there was a special blessing of the photos and memories.
Plan A Celebration
Many of us want to bring this celebration out of church and into our homes – here are some possibilities to consider for the future.
Hold an All Saints’ Day party – a great alternative to Halloween. Get everyone to dress as their favourite saint, or to bring a picture of this saint. During the festivities get everyone to share a story about their saint and the impact he or she has had on their lives. Or you might like to get participants to guess who each person represents.
Plan a family heritage party. Invite people to do some work beforehand researching their family history and particularly the Christian saints who were a part of it. Ask them to bring photos and stories to share. Finish with a time of prayer for all those that have gone before us.
Several years ago when my youngest brother went to Greece where my father comes from he found out that it is possible that our family name Aroney comes from the name Aaron and that our family probably originated in Jerusalem many centuries ago. It is probable that one of the reason they began the journey out of Jerusalem first to Constantinople then to Rhodes and finally to the tiny island of Kithera at the bottom of the Peloponnese mountains is because they became Christians. There are a number of Greek orthodox priests in my father’s family history and my Aunt Mary was a very devout Greek Orthodox Christian. I know less about my mother’s family history but would love to find out where her family too has had profound encounters with God.
Plan an All Saints Day pilgrimage. Again this might require some before time research. Explore the Christian heritage of your community. Where did the first Christians come from? How did they interact with the native peoples? Where was the first church established? Who were some of the early Christians who impacted your community. Plan a pilgrimage walk to the site of the first Christian community and if possible have a time of prayer and possibly even a eucharistic celebration to remember those who have gone before.
Consider an All Saints’ Scavenger Hunt with your kids. This site spells out what this could look like and provides a free template to use.
So how will you celebrate All Saints Day this year? Please share them with me. I would love to hear your creative ideas.
by Christine Sine
Did you know that over 1 billion pounds of pumpkin end up in the landfill after Halloween each year? And then of course there are all those costumes, decorations and of course the candy. The total impact on our landfill is staggering. It is a very sobering. And in case you think – well it’s organic so it should compost and be good for the landfill, here’s some more bad news – organic matter needs oxygen, bacteria and water to decompose and the landfill doesn’t like that. It tries to keep the pile dry and without oxygen because it doesn’t want decomposing matter to heat up and cause a fire. So the less the pile decomposes the better which means those pumpkins could be around for a very long time.
So what can we do? Here are some suggestions from a post I did a couple of years ago that I thought it was worth revisiting.
As I mentioned in another post Halloween Is Coming – Resources for a Green, Fair Trade, and Ethical Halloween, some Christians see this celebration as evil and like to stay home with lights off. Others feel we should participate in ways that engage and redeem the culture and as the practice becomes more popular around the world it is something all of us need to think about.
Whatever your approach to Halloween I think there are some things that all of us should be aware of.
Toxicity of Face Paint.
As this helpful article says: a lack of regulation in the cosmetic industry and misleading marketing labels mean that parents may unknowingly spread harmful ingredients on their child’s skin. They list the few safe paints: Elegant Minerals, and a recipe for DIY paint. I also found this really inexpensive and simple alternative to purchased face paints which the website says is safe enough to eat, and though we may not want to experiment some of our kids probably will.
Safety Tips for Halloween
The CDC has an excellent list of safety tips to think about as you both dress and send your kids out.
And another great list from the American Academy of Pediatrics.
And probably one of the most important: A big part of Halloween safety is making sure drivers can see your kids as they’re crossing the street or walking from house to house. Give your trick-or-treaters their own flashlights and/or light-up or glow-in-the-dark accessories.
The Candy Problem
41 million kids in the U.S. go trick or treating. In 2019, Americans spent something like 2.7 billion on Halloween candy. No wonder one out of three children in America are overweight and many will develop diabetes. Consider making your own healthy treats, giving out non-food items like polished stones, temporary tattoos, or friendship bracelets. You don’t want to be the neighborhood witch or warlock, but who says you’re required to hand out candy. Kids may feel slightly tricked, but parents will appreciate your efforts to save their sweet tooth…literally.
Reverse Trick or Treating
Most chocolate sold in the US is tainted by child slavery and exploitative conditions for adult workers. Fairtrade eliminates child labour and ensures healthy working conditions with a living wage for workers. Thousands of groups of Trick-or-Treaters in the United States and Canada unite at Halloween each year to help:
- END poverty among cocoa farmers
- END forced/abusive child labor in the cocoa industry
- PROTECT the environment
- PROMOTE Fair Trade
How? By distributing Fair Trade chocolate to adults, attached to a card explaining these problems in the cocoa industry and how Fair Trade presents a solution. You can learn more about this initiative here.
What Do You Do With All Those Pumpkins?
You don’t have to let your pumpkins rot on the front porch or throw them out.
You can use them for soup or stews. You can compost them, or you can feed them to the wildlife or to your dog. One of our dog Goldie’s favourite evening snacks is a bone stuffed with a homemade mixture of yam and cheese but pumpkin would work just as well. I make up a batch about once a week – a ratio of 3-1 yams to cheese, cook the yams, and then grate all the yams and cheese, mix it together and store in the fridge. I make enough to last at least a week. I stuff her bones each evening ready for the next day then freeze them. (she gets about 3 during the day). They are much healthier and considerably cheaper than the ones you buy.
However if you would rather cook for your family rather than the dogs here are some of my favourite recipes:
- Pumpkin Soup Carribbean Style with Black Beans
- Walk Through the Garden Soup
- Pumpkin Bread. This is a great recipe – and as it says it is adaptable.
- Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins – I chose this recipe because it fairly healthy, uses whole wheat flour and recommends making mini rather than full sized muffins – cuts down on the portion size. We had a friend who used to make these regularly and gift us with them occasionally. We always looked forward to that.
- There are lots of other great pumpkin recipes on this site. I have not tried most of them but would love to.
- Gluten Free, Grain Free Chocolate Chip Muffins I have not tried this recipe but it looks interesting – uses almond butter and honey instead of sugar.
- Gluten Free Pumpkin Oatmeal Anytime Squares. Again I have not tried these but they look very interesting.
by Christine Sine
As many of you know Eugene Peterson, died yesterday. He created The Message and authored over 30 books. His work has inspired millions of Christians around the world and his impact will continue for a long time to come as many of us continue to use his valuable resources. Evidently his life goal was:
to “change the pastoral imagination of pastors today,” to urge them “to slow down and to be present to their lives” so that they could help their congregations do the same, he said.
It is his writings on rhythm of life and reflections on psalms and also the Sabbath that have most inspired me as I have sort to develop my own “slowed down” rhythm and focus. The Contemplative Pastor and A Long Obedience in the Same Direction are the two of his books I have found most helpful. He writes not only as a theologian but also as a pastor and had so much to say not just for those who are in church leadership but for all of us who struggle to follow Jesus every day.
I was also impressed by the ways that he lived out his faith. It seemed to me that he was never looking for fame and fortune but often seemed unassuming and reticent to step forward – following God and the vocation God had given him because it was just that – God’s call on his life. He always seemed to be a man of humility and grace.
Eugene Peterson will be sadly missed by all of us. I am so glad that his legacy will live on through his writings. I pray that he will continue to influence all followers of Christ to seek the often challenging path of slowed down spirituality and balance that he so often talked about.
May he rest in the arms of God today who is I am sure welcoming Eugene with the words: “Well done good and faithful servant.”
As an Amazon Associate, I receive a small amount for purchases made through appropriate links.
Thank you for supporting Godspace in this way.
When referencing or quoting Godspace Light, please be sure to include the Author (Christine Sine unless otherwise noted), the Title of the article or resource, the Source link where appropriate, and ©Godspacelight.com. Thank you!