by Jeannie Kendall – originally posted here on January 17, 2017.

The wise men have always intrigued me. Of course the tradition is there – a named three kings bearing no resemblance to the quiet restraint of the Biblical account. There is an air of eastern mysticism that captivates us our imagination and the shiny colours of the children’s nativity costumes charm us.

I wonder if the reality, perhaps, was more prosaic. These were serious scholars, spending hours in quiet solitude, with a deep-rooted belief that the universe is profoundly connected with the fate of humanity and therefore events with a transforming effect on human history must be echoed in the cosmos, and specifically in the stars. Perhaps since Daniel had been given authority over the Persian scholars (Daniel 2), there had been a folklore passed down through their culture of the hope of a Jewish Messiah who would change history.

However erudite however, these were flesh and blood people: individuals with personal histories, families, thoughts and feelings. The journey was a risky one, wild animals and marauders a continual possibility. What if the culmination of their lives’ work turned out to be a fool’s errand? Where would that leave them: their life purpose running out like sand through their fingers? Were there moments of heart-jerking doubt in the middle of the night? Any moments of regret at missing a milestone in their children’s development?

As they knelt (extraordinary in itself that they would prostrate themselves before a child) what mix of feelings must have whirled around their battered and tired psyches? Perhaps amid the joy and relief there was a moment of “What now?” Where do we go when all we have looked towards has been fulfilled? I have so many questions…

Yet, yes, in the end these are the stories of people who, like us, make a journey into an unknown future. Here are my reflections on two of them:

The Magi

I still remember the day I first saw it.
Like nothing we had ever witnessed
For all our hours of study.
It was as if heaven had breached earth:
A dazzling display
Signalling something, surely, to change history.

We could not miss it.

Our wives: well, that was a different story.
Varying from incredulity at our fool’s errand
To outright anger at our desertion,
Hard as it was to explain
The yearning in our souls
That would not be assuaged
By continuing in our ease and security.

The journey was fraught:
One of our party nearly succumbing
To some mysterious ailment:
Reviving only with his desperation
To finish our quest.

Then the curious interlude:
Arriving at the palace
Thinking at last our mission complete:
Hoping our goal was in reach.
Eliciting information we needed,
Yet somehow a stench
More pungent than the camels,
Filling not our noses
But our souls.

The last miles
Seemed never-ending;
And, creeping like a fog
Not seen until obscuring vision,
My doubt sneaked in.

But then I saw Him,
And, in simple wonder,
I knelt
And felt the breath of heaven
On my cheek.

Wife of one of the Magi 

I have no appetite
For politics or religion.
The first the refuge
Of the power hungry
The second for the desperate.

I married him
Because I loved him
The rest just came with it
Like an unwelcome guest
Who would not leave
And must be tolerated.

He never talked
About his work
Which suited me fine
I knew my place
The kitchen and bedroom
My domain
But not the altar.

And then he left
On some foolish quest
And my simmering resentment
Burst into energising flame
Planning with every day
Of absence
All that I would say
On his return.
A thousand conversations
In my head
In the waking hours
Of the night.

And then he came home.
And all of them
Were silenced.

Want to experience more of the awe and wonder that God offers us? Check out the Gift of Wonder Online Retreat by Christine Sine. This retreat allows for 180 days of access for only $39.99 so you can move through the sessions at your own pace.