For many, the Advent and Christmas seasons are anything but cheerful, even when we have not had to put up with nonstop Christmas music for days beforehand. For those who have lost loved ones, lost a job, or home or are struggling financially or with illness this season is anything but cheerful. And in 2020, we are grieving during this pandemic season from unmet expectations, missing family and friends, and just mourning how taxing and different this year has been. So why do we try to cover our pain and grief with Yuletide cheer?
Many churches have begun to recognize that Festivals of Carols, celebrations of Christmas, and children’s pageants do not meet everyone’s needs. To fill this gap, churches offer a Blue Christmas service, a Service of Solace or Longest Night. People who are not having a very merry Christmas, along with friends who support them, are invited to come and sit with one another in a liturgy that speaks of the love of God for the grieving.
Resources for Blue Christmas
Services
- Fidelia Magazine has an excellent liturgy for a Blue Christmas service – When Christmas Hurts.
- re:Worship always has great resources and I think has the best list for Blue Christmas ideas of any site I have visited.
Music
- Lectionary Songs has some excellent suggestions on songs for such a service.
- And another good list of Songs of Lament to consider.
- Our church’s Longest Night service used the words of Mumford and Sons song “After the Storm” for the prayer after communion, which I thought was very powerful.
After the Storm
And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.
Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won’t rot, I won’t rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won’t rot.
for those who hate their thighs and for those who have been abused.
for the bones that break and the cancer that spreads.
for blisters and splinters and hairs that split.
for asthma that seizes and for those we love who never get better.
for those who can’t get warm enough to sleep.
for those who wake early to find the dreams of beauty are not real.
for those whose coffee pots break when they need it most.
for hangovers and regrets and nights spent tossing.
Come and lament with me.
Let us attend.
For today and most days
All we bring are broken things.
- Here is a beautiful adaptation of Psalm 88 that would also make a good addition to a Blue Christmas service
Prayers
A couple of years ago, when grieving the still raw death of my mother, I wrote my own Blue Christmas poem.
On this long dark night we await the coming of Christ.
We long for the light of his presence,
With us and in us.
When our souls are deeply troubled,
and our hearts break with the weight of sorrow,
may our grief be seasoned with love,
and our sorrow be buoyed by hope.
In our times of God-forsakenness and estrangement,
May we gaze on the innocent One,
made perfect through suffering.
and see in him our vulnerable God,
who saves in weakness and pain.
May our suffering empty us of pride,
and lead us to true joy
our only security,
in Christ the infinite depths of God’s grace.
Let me end with this meaningful prayer by Ted Loder which appears in Guerrillas of Grace,
O God of all seasons and senses,
grant us the sense of your timing
to submit gracefully and rejoice quietly in the turn of the seasons.
In this season of short days and long nights,
of grey and white and cold,
teach us the lessons of endings;
children growing, friends leaving, loved ones dying,
grieving over,
grudges over,
blaming over,
excuses over.
O God, grant us a sense of your timing.
In this season of short days and long nights,
of grey and white and cold,
teach us the lessons of beginnings;
that such waitings and endings may be the starting place,
a planting of seeds which bring to birth what is ready to be born—
something right and just and different,
a new song, a deeper relationship, a fuller love—
in the fullness of your time.
O God, grant us the sense of your timing.
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There are obviously endless resources out there to assist us in designing worship services and activities for this season. For some the observances revolve around the lighting of the Advent candles and the Eucharistic celebration. For others it is the preaching of the gospel story and the Christmas pageant that take centre stage. Whatever your faith orientation here are some of my favourite resource sites that I think you will find useful. I have tried to draw from any traditions and cultures.
Advent resources from Ignatian Spirituality:
Christmas & Advent ideas from David Keen at Ideas, Resources and Donkey Rides
Bosco Peters in New Zealand has wonderful Advent and Christmas resources at liturgy.co.nz
The Billabong is a great Australian site with resources for both kids and adults.
John Birch has the most wonderful Celtic Advent liturgies available.
Text This Week always has an awesome array of resources for all seasons, but especially for Advent and Christmas.
Lectionary Liturgies provides liturgies based on the RCL readings for each Sunday of the church year.
Lent and Beyond – An Anglican Prayer blog also posts good seasonal resources.
engageworship.org is a UK site which has some good seasonal resources.
Biblical Art provides art classes, clip art and more for worship services.
And the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese has some interesting icons and explanation of Christmas from an Orthodox perspective.
A rich array of Advent resources as well as Christmas and Epiphany from Churchyear.net
Blue Eyed Ennis has a great list of Advent resources on her blog that are worth looking at.
Some great ideas from Intreractive worship – for Advent: The Feeling of Waiting and Prayers of the People Station as well as this community-made icon really inspired me.
Plan an Advent or Christmas Outreach
Christmas is the season when all of us think of giving to our favourite charities, the homeless and the poor, but there are other ways to that we can give at this season.
United Methodist Church has some good ideas for an Advent outreach in this article – everything from scavenger hunt with random acts of kindness to Christmas eve cookie giveaway for people who must work.
The beginning of Advent is only a few weeks away and many of us are already buying gifts and trying to figure out how to cut back on the rampant consumerism that sweeps through the season. Helping kids to enjoy the blessing of giving rather than receiving at Christmas is a huge challenge. The list below is adapted from one that I found in Parent Map.
Support Kids of the World: Helping your children understand that other kids don’t have the privileges they do and need their help can be an enjoyable experience. I love what VIVA, a UK based organization does in sponsoring Christmas parties in poor communities around the world. They are engaged in many ways to help keep children at risk safe and healthy.
Buy a livelihood for families. Gifts that provide a livelihood for those who struggle with hunger and poverty can be particularly meaningful as they empower children and make them realize we can all make a difference in this world. World Concern and Heifer Project are just a couple of the organizations that now provide opportunities for the giving of livestock – from chickens to cattle. Tearfund UK has a program where you buy a gift voucher and then the recipient decides what they will give. This might be more fun for some kids.
Donate a Bedtime story. Many families have few or no age-appropriate books in their home and kids miss out on the important literacy-building ritual of bedtime stories. First Book is a nonprofit that works to distribute new books to low-income families in schools in the U.S. and Canada.
Hold a Make Something Party. Some years ago, the Buy Nothing Day campaign started to counteract the Black Friday shopping frenzy of North American Culture. A group in Southern California started a Make Something Day instead. I love the positive spin on this. Organize a party where your kids can help make gifts for underprivileged kids in your communities. There is something very special about a gift that has been handcrafted. I can guarantee that the recipient will hold onto it for years to come. (Can easily be done virtually! Send out a list of needed items before you host the video chat party so everyone has what they need to craft “together” online).
Make a Loan, Help a Family. This is a great suggestion for older kids that you not only want to encourage to give but who you also want to learn about investing and financial responsibility. KIVA and Hope International are two of the many Christian organization that facilitate micro-lending.
Shed a Light on a Brighter Future. One Million Lights is a nonprofit that aims to provide sustainable, usable lights to homes without electricity in developing countries through a buy-one-give-one model. Buy solar-charged lanterns and you keep one and a family in need gets the other – a brilliant (pardon the pun) idea.
Give Hope for Tomorrow: Plant a Tree, Invest in a Farmer. In the Plant with A Purpose alternative gift catalogue, a tree only costs $10 and to invest in a farmer is $22. I think that this type of gift can be a wonderful educational tool to help children understand the consequences of environmental degradation. Again, the fact that we can actually do something to change the situation can be very empowering for young people.
Invite International Students Over for Christmas. There are lots of international students who do not have anywhere to go for Christmas. Consider inviting some over on either Christmas Eve or Christmas day. Contact your local college or university to find out how to extend this invitation. We have done this for the last couple of years. It has become a real highlight of the Christmas season for us. At the same time, get your kids to read up on Christmas traditions from around the world as suggested above.
Buy Fair Trade or Locally Produced for all your Purchases. A growing number of organizations provide fair traded gift items. Ten Thousand Villages is one one that we have frequented for years. Another possibility is One World Futbol’s smart soccer ball requires no pumping and never goes flat. Each time you purchase one, another is donated to a community in need. Or, for those that live in the Seattle area take you kids on a tour of Theos Chocolates and end by purchasing gifts for all the family.
Protect the World’s Animals. You might like to adopt an animal at your local zoo or contribute to an animal shelter or participate in one of the World Wild Life’s projects. One of my standard Christmas gifts is National Wildlife Federation’s monthly magazines – Ranger Rick and Ranger Rick Jr. It is an award-winning educational magazine that provides entertainment and instruction throughout the year.
Memories for the New Year. Gift each other with a memory book or video. Reflect on the previous year and capture children’s memories that can become part of your family and church story.
Christmas Gifts that Won’t Break provides weekly Advent reading, looks at spiritual gifts that bring hope, peace, joy, and love to family, community, and world and challenges people to rethink the gifts they ask for and give during the Advent and Christmas seasons.
Consider donating to Christmas Backpacks where you can “share a gift of love and the Gospel with a child in need”.
Truceteachers.org has an excellent guide with ideas for toy buying during the Christmas season. Some of their suggestions are be thoughtful, plan a family experience together like going for a hike, a bike ride, or helping out a neighbor and be creative. They also have resources about children and media that could be helpful when thinking through what to purchase for your child this year.
Some ideas for families and kids from The Minimalist Mom on how to simplify their toys. Believe it or not, kids enjoy gifts their family or friends have made far more than expensive storebought ones.
- Only give gifts of homemade toys and or crafts
- Give toys away at Christmas rather than accumulating more.
- Host a toy exchange with friends.
This is part of a series on Christmas/Advent resources.
- Advent Activities for Families and Kids for 2020
- Helping Kids Give Back This Christmas
- Celebrate With Simplicity This Christmas
- Advent/Christmas Music from a Rich Array of Traditions
- Getting Ready for Advent/Christmas Worship Resources for the Season
- Choosing Your Scripture Readings for the Coming Year
- Who Will You Invite to the Manger?
- Advent Candle Light Liturgy
- What On Earth Are The O Antiphons
Resources from Godspace for Advent and Christmas
Godspace has a variety of resources available for celebrating this season.
- NEW DEVOTIONAL! Lean Towards the Light this Advent & Christmas + Advent Cards Bundle compiled by Christine Sine and Lisa DeRosa
- Lean Towards the Light Advent Retreat Online – video sessions by Christine Sine along with handouts to prepare for the coming of the Christ Child this Advent.
- A Journey Toward Home: Soul Travel For Advent to Lent compiled by Kristin Carroccino and Christine Sine
- Waiting for the Light: An Advent Devotional compiled by Ricci Kilmer, Susan Wade and Christine Sine
- Prayer Cards – more than Christmas gifts. These have been used for daily devotions, grief counselling, small groups and congregational prayers.
Check out the entire resource list here for more ideas for Advent and Christmas.
Godspace has a number of Advent resources available for both free download and purchase. Visit our store.
In my post, Come to the Manger Who Will You Invite?, I shared that Kenneth Bailey believes Jesus’ family was not abandoned in a stable but was surrounded by friends and family at his birth. To this birth celebration the shepherds, outcasts from their society, and the wise men, Gentile foreigners were also invited. Bailey also points out that Jesus did not come in the expected place or way. The Jews expected that through the birth of the Messiah great things would happen in the city of Jerusalem and through this the city would be glorified.
Although the glorious events projected for honouring the city of Jerusalem never happened, the Gospel authors perceived them to be taking place in the birth of Jesus. Around the CHILD there was a great light and the glory of the Lord appeared. To the CHILD came Arab wise men from the desert on camels bringing gold and frakincense. Shepherds visited the CHILD, not the city. The great hopes for the city were transferred to the child in a manger. Indeed, the glory of the Lord shone around about the CHILD. This shift from the city to the child is significant.
The birth stories de-Zionise the tradition. Hopes and expectations for the city are seen as fulfilled in the birth of the child. Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes, (54)
This idea has made me wonder: What are the unexpected places in which Jesus is appearing? And who do we welcome to the manger? Who else should we invite to this celebration that may otherwise be ignored or excluded – the prostitutes, the sex traffickers, those in prison, people of other racial backgrounds, other religions, other sexual persuasions, the poor and the homeless, even those we are estranged from. Do we think there is a place for everyone at the manger? If so how do we extend that invitation so that these people feel welcome?
As I mentioned in my previous post, one of the reflections in our new devotional, A Journey Toward Home, is about the French custom of santons, a French custom in which clay models of villagers are positioned around the manger bringing their gifts to the Christ child.
I love this idea of all our neighbours, those we enjoy and those we don’t want to have anything to do with, clustered around the manger, invited into that place of intimate hospitality with God. So let’s create our own “santons” this Advent and Christmas season, santons of words, photos, and actions, not figures of clay.
This concept will be the focus for the Advent/Christmas posts on the blog this year. When I first posted this invitation, several people responded with their ideas of where and how we could gather with friends and strangers around the manger in church, in homeless shelters, in refugee camps, on the borders that keep out the unwanted. I am also making this my personal focus for the season and invite you to join me.
Create Your Own Come to the Manger Wreath.
What are the unexpected places in which you have seen the Christ child appear and the gospel story be lived out?
Who are the friends and strangers you will welcome to the manger this year?
Read Hebrews 12:1-3 several times slowly.
Sit in silence for a few minutes thinking of those you would like to see around the manger. What places come to mind? Where are the unexpected places that the gospel story is being lived out? Who are the people that you think of? What family, friends and neighbours do you see yourself together with? Who are those that have died – family, mentors and saints through the ages whose lives inspired and encouraged you? Who have you ignored or turned your back on that needs to be welcomed? Who have you despised as the shepherds were despised? Perhaps you need to seek forgiveness and invite them to the circle around the manger? Who are the foreigners that should be there? Perhaps people of other faiths, cultures and sexual orientation?
- Now get together a piece of white poster board, a pair of scissors and some glue.
- Print out the manger scene above or photograph your own nativity scene and paste it in the centre of the poster board.
- Find photos, paintings, icons or other images of those who came to your mind. Print them out.
- Glue them in a wreath around the image of the manger. Leave some space for more images to be added as they come to mind.
- Hang it in a prominent place in your home.
Use it as focus for prayer throughout the Advent and Christmas season. Add photos and images as you are interact with other members of your community who should be included.
Send us your photos and tell us your stories.
This is part of a series on Christmas/Advent resources.
- Advent Activities for Families and Kids for 2020
- Helping Kids Give Back This Christmas
- Celebrate With Simplicity This Christmas
- Advent/Christmas Music from a Rich Array of Traditions
- Getting Ready for Advent/Christmas Worship Resources for the Season
- Choosing Your Scripture Readings for the Coming Year
- Who Will You Invite to the Manger?
- Advent Candle Light Liturgy
- What On Earth Are The O Antiphons
Resources from Godspace for Advent and Christmas
Godspace has a variety of resources available for celebrating this season.
- NEW DEVOTIONAL! Lean Towards the Light this Advent & Christmas + Advent Cards Bundle compiled by Christine Sine and Lisa DeRosa
- Lean Towards the Light Advent Retreat Online – video sessions by Christine Sine along with handouts to prepare for the coming of the Christ Child this Advent.
- A Journey Toward Home: Soul Travel For Advent to Lent compiled by Kristin Carroccino and Christine Sine
- Waiting for the Light: An Advent Devotional compiled by Ricci Kilmer, Susan Wade and Christine Sine
- Prayer Cards – more than Christmas gifts. These have been used for daily devotions, grief counselling, small groups and congregational prayers.
Check out the entire resource list here for more ideas for Advent and Christmas.
Godspace has a number of Advent resources available for both free download and purchase. Visit our store.
St Benedict uses 2 words for silence: quies and silentium. Quies is the silence that comes with the absence of noise. The silence that engulfs us when we turn off the TV, disconnect from the internet and discard our cell phones. This is an external silence. It is an extremely important form of silence that all of us who live busy, urban lives need to enter into.
Sixteenth century mystic, John of the Cross called silence “God’s first language” not the language so much of a silent place as of a silent soul. This is silentium, an internal, intentional posture of complete attentiveness toward God. It is a silence of making space for, taking time for and paying loving attention to the One we proclaim to be our God and lord. It is more challenging to enter into this kind of silence because it doesn’t just mean finding a quiet place. It means establishing a quiet inner attitude in which we set aside the distractions of our minds and hearts, draw from the stillness that is within us and commune with God in a very special way. From Return to Our Senses 54
What is your response?
Get comfortable, take some deep breaths in and out and centre yourself on the presence of God. How easily do you still the wandering thoughts, and noisy distractions that make it difficult to enter the inner silence of God? Perhaps you need help.
Richard Foster in Sanctuary of the Soul suggests that constant distractions create noisy hearts, wandering minds and perpetual inner chaos. In order to enter the inner silence of God we need help to slow down and focus our attention on what really matters. The reciting of poetry or scripture, the singing of songs, writing of prayers or other rhythmic activities like knitting, walking and sweeping can open for us this inner silence of God because they do just that. They slow us down and their rhythm enters the depths of our being calming our spirits. Sometimes they create images in our minds that open new doorways through which we see God.
What is your response?
What soothes your spirit and calms your soul so that you can enter into this silent place of communion with God? If need be get out your bible or your knitting, go for a walk, get in touch with the depths of God’s presence. Return to your sitting place and write your thoughts and prayers in your journal. Perhaps you would like to write your own poem or prayer.
My apologies to those of you who already read this on Monday. I am reposting it because for some reason we have not been able to work out, Facebook will not allow me to share yesterday’s post
St Benedict uses 2 words for silence: quies and silentium. Quies is the silence that comes with the absence of noise. The silence that engulfs us when we turn off the TV, disconnect from the internet and discard our cell phones. This is an external silence. It is an extremely important form of silence that all of us who live busy, urban lives need to enter into.
Sixteenth century mystic, John of the Cross called silence “God’s first language” not the language so much of a silent place as of a silent soul. This is silentium, an internal, intentional posture of complete attentiveness toward God. It is a silence of making space for, taking time for and paying loving attention to the One we proclaim to be our God and lord. It is more challenging to enter into this kind of silence because it doesn’t just mean finding a quiet place. It means establishing a quiet inner attitude in which we set aside the distractions of our minds and hearts, draw from the stillness that is within us and commune with God in a very special way. From Return to Our Senses 54
What is your response?
Get comfortable, take some deep breaths in and out and centre yourself on the presence of God. How easily do you still the wandering thoughts, and noisy distractions that make it difficult to enter the inner silence of God? Perhaps you need help.
Richard Foster in Sanctuary of the Soul suggests that constant distractions create noisy hearts, wandering minds and perpetual inner chaos. In order to enter the inner silence of God we need help to slow down and focus our attention on what really matters. The reciting of poetry or scripture, the singing of songs, writing of prayers or other rhythmic activities like knitting, walking and sweeping can open for us this inner silence of God because they do just that. They slow us down and their rhythm enters the depths of our being calming our spirits. Sometimes they create images in our minds that open new doorways through which we see God.
What is your response?
What soothes your spirit and calms your soul so that you can enter into this silent place of communion with God? If need be get out your bible or your knitting, go for a walk, get in touch with the depths of God’s presence. Return to your sitting place and write your thoughts and prayers in your journal. Perhaps you would like to write your own poem or prayer.
A prayer for All Saints Day to end the week with. Thinking of all those who have gone before and called me to live out my faith in radical ways.
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