by Christine Sine
You probably realize by now that I love to mess with traditions and reshape liturgical practices and seasons to better fit my own state of mind and the issues I am grappling with. As the war in Israel/Palestine rages on, I find my gratitude season has become instead a season of grief and gratitude. I blogged about that last week, but today realized there is another aspect of this that I wanted to share.
This week my focus revolved around the question “What is life gaining and what is life draining at the moment ?
I wrote “say no to what is life draining” then began to list what came to mind.
- Turn my back on negative thinking about what I am doing, the future, the world around me. That only leads to despair and depression.
- Say no to Christmas shopping. I find it overwhelming and very draining to do Christmas shopping in the weeks before Christmas. Even the steady stream of ads and hyped up incentives to buy more that flood my inbox leave me feeling exhausted. So during November I will try to keep this exposure to a minimum.
- Switch off the news. Watching too much news about the wars in Ukraine and Israel/Palestine, climate change, political upheaval and polarization, refugee crises, and hurricanes devastation overwhelms and drains me leaving me feeling inadequate and useless. Switching off the news doesn’t mean I don’t take notice of it, but it does mean I don’t allow it to control my life.
- Say no to too much food and “Christmas cheer”. The guilt that goes with over eating and over consuming is not only draining but actually makes me want to eat more and it seems to begin earlier every year, usually as the cold weather sets in. Now is the time to choose which gatherings are life gaining and which are life draining and say no to the ones I don’t really want to go to anyway. One of our favourite gatherings over the Advent season is going to the Messiah and we have already booked our tickets for that.
Then I started to think about what is life gaining for me. Part of what I realized is that there are solutions to my life draining challenging that are actually life gaining.
- Negative thinking can become hope and promise if I focus on where I see God’s love and joy breaking through – Instead of saying “I can’t do this” I can say “This is hard but I can persevere.” Or I can say “in the midst of this difficult challenge I am grateful for friends and family that support me.” We can also do what my friend Sue Duby taught me to do – look for the joy spots. Instead of asking “Why did God let this happen?” ask “Where is God already at work in the situation that drains me? How can I join in? “
What could you do to focus away from negative thoughts onto the positive?
- Transform crises into opportunities for generosity. Watching the news about the devastation of the wars and earthquakes, floods and droughts as well as speaking to friends who work with refugees, the homeless and those at the margins of society spurs me to be generous with my giving and my volunteering over the next few months.
How could you respond to the crises in the world around you? Is God prompting you to be more generous to others with your time or resources?
- Plan for shows that are life giving. Over the last few months Tom and I have found an array of wonderful programs on Netflix and Britbox that are very life gaining for us – stories about creativity about animals and the natural wonders of our world. Stories about families that care for each other and their neighbours. It has transformed our TV and live-streaming focus. Thinking about the “shows” that are life gaining for me spurs me on to plan our Advent and Christmas watching in advance – Messiah, Advent carols, Advent retreat. There are wonderful life gaining alternatives.
What entertainment over the next couple of months would be life giving for you? How could you say no to those that are not?
- Plan parties that are life giving. By now you probably realize that I love to plan parties and the Advent season is one of my favorites to get ready for. Since COVID we no longer hold big gatherings in our house, but I still do lots of cooking for friends and family across the country. Next week I will pull out my copy of The Godspacelight Community Cookbook to get some new ideas. I will soak fruit for the English style Christmas cake that is always so popular. (yep it needs to soak for a month before I make the cake) I might even get my first batch of Scottish shortbread though of course that can encourage me to start overeating early. Cooking at this seasons, knowing that I will share in with others is very life-giving for me.
Planing parties and cooking may not be life giving for you, but what are the ways that you like to bless others? What are the sharing activities you love to participate in or plan for over the Thanksgiving/Advent and Christmas season?
- Plan for a zero waste DIY Christmas. What if I aim at a zero waste Christmas this year? Making Christmas gifts is life gaining for me. What about a totally home made gift Christmas this year? It’s time to pull out the knitting needles and maybe make some of those photo albums Jean Andrianoff talked about in her post A Practical Way to Share the Wonder Not only is that a fun and life gaining thought, it is also an inspiring and joy filled one.
Maybe homemade gifts doesn’t appeal to you but how could you reduce the stress of Christmas gift giving this year?
- Create spiritual practices that are life gaining. My focus on gratitude is just one of the spiritual practices I plan to use in the coming months. I hope to paint leaves, and pine cones at our community meal – a wonderful beginning to the season and something that helps all of us slow down, reflect and relax. Meditation gardens are part of my delight at this season too, becoming more and more a part of how I love to prepare for a new season. I plan to refresh my memory by rereading the section in Digging Deeper: The Art of Contemplative Gardening on how to create a contemplative garden and will then get to work on an Advent garden which I plan to create before the beginning of Celtic Advent on November 15th. Other practices enrich the season for me too. The Advent Quiet Day retreat is something that I find I value as much for myself as for the enrichment of others. -I will also start to add Advent images to use as I redecorate my sacred space for Celtic Advent.
What are the practices that are life giving for you over the Thanksgiving/Advent and Christmas seasons? How can you make sure that you protect these practices?
The upcoming seasons of Thanksgiving and Advent are meant to be joyous and celebrate. Prayerfully consider ways that you could make this more of a focus in the coming month… and maybe you could join us for our retreat December 9th as a start .
NOTE: As an Amazon Associate I receive a small amount for purchases made through the links above. Thank you for supporting Godspacelight in this way.
by Carol Dixon
An apple a day . . . . . . keeps the doctor away is a common saying that comes from an old English adage, ‘to eat an apple before going to bed, will make the doctor beg his bread’.
The apple dates from Biblical times and, depending on the Bible translation, it is referred to several times. It is often thought to have been the forbidden fruit that Adam and Eve picked from the Tree of Life, although most Biblical scholars will tell you that the fig is a more likely candidate, especially as they covered their nakedness with fig leaves. According to Christiananswers.com ‘There is currently no clear evidence that apples grew in Israel in ancient times (possibly due to the heat). But they were certainly not unknown in Israel, and the land does have cooler hill country. They grew north of Israel in Lebanon and the ancient Romans cultivated apple trees extensively. It is also possible that climatic conditions may have been more favourable in ancient times in Israel. Today, more than 40 types of fruit are commercially grown there in the northern hills of Israel and in Gaza. The apple is thought to have been domesticated 4,000–10,000 years ago in the Tian Shan mountains between western China, Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan. It then travelled along the Silk Road to Europe, with hybridization and the transfer of generic material between species of wild crab apple from Siberia, the Caucasus and Europe. The earliest known named English apple variety is the pearmain which was first mentioned in 1204, having been introduced into Britain by the Normans.
In 1990, Common Ground, a Dorset charity, decided it was time to boost the social standing of the humble British apple by giving it a special celebration day, aptly called ‘Apple Day’ to be held on 21 October each year. Apple Day was intended to raise the awareness of the danger of not only losing the traditional British apple but to also highlight the richness and diversity of our landscape, ecology, and culture. It has, says Common Ground, also played a part in raising awareness in the provenance and traceability of food.
Common Ground describes themselves as ‘a small, grass roots organisation that collaborate openly to reconnect people with nature and inspire communities to become responsible for their local environment.’ They believe that enjoying where you live and celebrating the connections people have with the wildlife and landscape on their doorstep, is at the root of meaningful conservation.
Raising awareness of the British apple is an excellent example of their ambitions. Did you know, for example, there are about 2,500 varieties of apples in the UK alone — worldwide the number is about 7,000. It has been calculated that you could eat a different variety of English apple every day for six years, so why not start by trying some different varieties on Apple Day this month.
The success of Apple Day has shown what the apple means to us and how much we need local celebrations in which, year after year, everyone can be involved. In city, town and country, Apple Day events have fostered local pride, celebrated and deepened interest in local distinctiveness. We would still like Apple Day to become the autumn holiday in Britain. Apple Day is now an integral part of the calendar of many villages, local authorities and city markets. It is a focus for activities organised by the Women’s Institute, National Trust properties, Wildlife Trusts, museums and galleries, horticultural societies, shops and restaurants as well as for schools, colleges and environmental study centres. The first Apple Day celebrations, in the old Apple Market in London’s Covent Garden, brought fruit to the market after 16 years’ absence. Forty stalls were taken. Fruit growers and nurseries producing and selling a wide variety of apples and trees rubbed shoulders with juice-and cider-makers, as well as writers and illustrators with their apple books.
We will never know just how many people came to that first celebration – it was certainly thousands and even now we meet people who effuse about it as a memorable event. Many wanted it to be repeated, but our intention was to spread the idea far and wide, encouraging people to celebrate Apple Day for themselves in their own city, village, parish, allotment or garden orchard.
And so the tradition of Apple Day began. Over the next few years, the number of events being organised around the country grew from more than 60 in 1991 to 300 by 1997 and over 600 in 1999, some attracting thousands of people. Apple Day has played a part in raising awareness not only of the importance of orchards to our landscape and culture, but also in the provenance and traceability of food. It has been one impetus behind the developing network of farmers’ markets and is helping people everywhere to discover they are not alone in valuing the links between food and the land, between natural resource use and the impact we have on nature.
We have used the apple as a symbol of what is being lost in many aspects of our lives and shown that anyone can take positive action towards change. Over the years, Apple Day has been celebrated in a wonderful variety of ways by a diverse range of people. Doctors’ surgeries, coronary support groups, and the Cancer Research Campaign have taken Apple Day as a novel way of encouraging healthy eating. Each year, alongside tasting, juicing, baking, pruning and grafting, an imaginative array of games and creative activities have flourished – ranging from simple apple printing to mummers’ apple plays, new songs and poetry evenings. But invariably, year after year, the most popular event is the display, tasting and buying of numerous varieties of apples and the presence of an expert to aid identification.
The 18th century English mystical poem ‘Jesus Christ the apple tree’ by an unknown writer uses the analogy of Jesus as the tree of life that is even more wonderful than the wonder of apple trees.
https://youtu.be/XYNNVLKuyJg?feature=shared
The tree of life my soul hath seen
Laden with fruit, and always green:
The trees of nature fruitless be
Compared with Christ the apple tree
His beauty doth all things excel:
By faith I know, but ne’er can tell
The glory which I now can see
In Jesus Christ the apple tree
For happiness I long have sought
And pleasure dearly I have bought:
I missed of all; but now I see
‘Tis found in Christ the apple tree
I’m weary with my former toil
Here I will sit and rest awhile:
Under the shadow I will be
Of Jesus Christ the apple tree
This fruit doth make my soul to thrive
It keeps my dying faith alive;
Which makes my soul in haste to be
With Jesus Christ the apple tree
Based on an article in St James’s URC, Alnwick church magazine (used with permission)
To learn more about Common Ground see https://www.commonground.org.uk
Today I am very grateful to be in Minneapolis with my prayer group…we haven’t seen each other in real life in over five years! We are celebrating friendship and God’s faithfulness and laughing a lot! We all met through working for youth specialities and the National Youth Workers Convention.
It’s a season of gratitude and grief…I honestly have been speechless over the violence and death in the middle east again this week. My heart is broken for all those who are suffering. I pray daily for peace and for the peacemakers. I hate war. and I Hate destruction and death! I hate war.
Ive been thinking about all the waste!
Waste of people, resources, housing. Things will never be the same.
The places will never be the same.
The communities will never be the same. Families never the same.
War is destruction of beauty .
And all in the name of power and hate& revenge.
And someone is making money off of all the waste, destruction and death.
I follow the prince of peace who said,
” blessed are the peace makers”
And love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. VERY HARD THINGS TO DO! But so needed in our world.
There is a sign on a church near me that says, “It’s Ok Not to be OK.” I feel a bit like Habakkuk raising my fist in the air to God, asking “HOW LONG?”
2 How long, Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
3 Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds. Habukkuk 1:1-3
I keep reminding myself of what Father Micheal Sparough says…START WITH GRATITUDE when you pray.
It’s why the prayer of Examen begins with gratitude…when we start with being grateful we see how wonderful, and wonder-filled life is even in the midst of all the loss and craziness. Try the Prayer of Examen led by Father Sparough.
It’s a season of Gratitude! We need to get out the GRATITUDE JAR and be reminded of all the things that are good in our worlds. You can download a kit for FREE Here. Each day, you pull out a word or phrase and take time to be grateful for it. Some things are harder so you have to ask Jesus for help and for eyes to see how to be thankful for them.
We have another practice of creating a GRATEFULNESS/THANKFUL window using post it notes. You can buy colorful post it notes and create a stained glass window using them and a pen or sharpie to write down things your are thankful for each day! All ages can play and participate and even if you are living solo, you can create a Grateful/Thankful Window!
I also got out the jars I use for my Advent candles which are labeled with HOPE AND PEACE and put a small globe near the candles to remind me to pray for peace for all the world!
LISTEN: I discovered Jon Guerra’s music this week…It is giving me hope! And Porters Gate’s music helped me survive the pandemic. They have an entire album on Lament. Make a Grateful Playlist and listen to it on REPEAT!
Habakkuk begins with his fist raised and he ends the book with
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights. Habakkuk 3:1
Pray with me:
Today, I am taking time to pray for peace & peacemakers. Help us Jesus!
Today, I am taking time to be grateful for life and watching for things that bring hope!
Give me eyes to see!
In a world filled with destruction and despair, today I want to bring light and love and joy and hope.
Lord with your help!
Amen
by The Rev. Elaine Breckenridge
I have always loved trees. I climbed them as a child. In high school and college, I wrote sentimental poems about them. As an adult, I appreciated trips to arboretums and display gardens. Trees were ornamental. They added interest to my life and beauty in landscapes.
Now however, my relationship with trees has changed. I live on Camano Island, Washington where there are no manicured parks or arboretums. Nor are there any old growth forests that escaped industrial logging. Yet, there are some forests that are protected, or private and undisturbed where I have been spending time.
One day I drove to a nearby nature preserve to walk among the trees. As I walked the familiar path and approached a favorite tree, a very large Big Leaf Maple, I was shocked. It was in a terrible state. There had been high winds that weekend and one of the tree’s huge limbs had been stripped away from its trunk, leaving behind a shocking gash. I found myself speaking to the tree, “I see you. I feel for you. I am sorry for your pain.” At that moment, the tree was calm and steady. It was as if the tree was seeing me and was present to my sorrow. The exposed heart shape conveyed presence to me.
Big Leaf Maple Heart, Four Springs Preserve, Camano Island
After that encounter, I wondered, could it be that trees have the capacity to feel and communicate? Call it mystical or mysterious, real or imagined, I felt that the tree had reached out to me.
Soon after that, I began visiting Madrone trees. Once I encountered a small group of Madrone trees that had been damaged by graffiti. I was grieved to see human initials carved into their beautiful bark. I sat beneath them on the ground and suddenly felt joy. The trees seemed to speak to me. I recorded the experience in my journal and a poem took shape. Here is an excerpt:
A community of madrones welcomes me into their midst.
Even as they hold the sunlight, they hold
me allowing me to be close
to touch limbs which each tell a story.
I see scars made by human initials
carved into their skin. I am angry.
The Wise One speaks, “Come here my dear,
lay an ear against my arm.
Listen and feel the pulse of greening
new skin while peeling
back another layer, shedding my cares below.
You too must practice letting go.”
I study her complex designs and textures,
then see the others dancing with the sky.
“How are you so fluid and flexible?” I ask.
“We never stop moving!” the chorus replies.
“We follow the light. We search for love and joy
even on the darkest days. We look east and
know that the sun will rise.
You should do likewise.”
madrone tree, carved
Clearly, I was inspired by being in the presence of these trees. They sparked my imagination. Were they communicating with me? Or was I projecting human qualities on to these trees? Then I met Susan.
Susan Cohen Thompson is an artist living and working on Camano Island. As I studied her paintings of trees, I saw how human they looked. In her art, she depicts trees not simply swaying in the wind, but dancing! They are portrayed as dynamic and animated creatures. Why? Because Susan understands that trees and forests are sentient beings. As a result of Susan’s art and her friendship, I have come to agree with her. I now know that, in my encounters with trees, I am interacting with sentient beings.
This may sound far-fetched. But recently I read an extraordinary book called, Finding the Mother Tree, Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest by Suzanne Simard. In this book she details her years of study and experiments with trees which led her to uncover some startling secrets about forests. She discovered, along with other scientists, that trees in forests are linked together in a web of interdependence by a system of underground channels composed of roots and fungi. Through these channels, trees perceive, communicate and respond to one another by emitting chemical signals. Furthermore, she learned that older and established trees, “mother trees,” nurture and feed their seedlings and sometimes, trees of no relation. They also pass on wisdom and share their knowledge on how to adapt and survive in changing environments. In the introduction section of her book she writes, “The scientific evidence is impossible to ignore: the forest is wired for wisdom, sentience and healing.”
Note her use of the word forest. The health of trees is dependent upon other trees and plants. The healthiest forests are diverse forests. Much of her work has been aimed at encouraging reforestation efforts to plant multiple species that grow together naturally, rather than developing monoculture stands.
Recently I visited a forest new to me on the island. On private land, this forest is dominated by Western Red Cedar trees. Similar to the forests in British Columbia where Simard did much of her research, this forest is older than many on the island. It is more diverse and I was able to locate the mother tree and could imagine all the connections she had made to other tress surrounding her. Leaning against this mother tree, I recalled what Simard had written. She wrote, “Ecosystems are similar to human societies. They’re built on relationships.”
Mother Tree in East Haven Forest, Camano Island
It appears that we have far more in common with forests and with the Earth than we might think. Her book is a reminder of the ways that all life-forms, including our own, were created by God to be interdependent. Both Celtic Christians and indigenous people of the Earth reverenced creation in ways that we have forgotten. I have learned from both of these traditions that creation is sacred and a theophany or manifestation of God. The Creator, by design, has linked all elements to work together in creation. Nothing exists alone.
I have certainly believed in the principal of interconnectivity on a theological level. Simard’s work is exciting because the science proves it to be true. Her work is hopeful, because by studying forests, we have a path forward to deal with our changing climate.
She writes that it is our disconnectedness and our lost understanding that nature has the capacity to heal and regenerate itself, that causes our despair and helplessness. She believes that trees, plants, and forests will find innovative solutions to deal with climate change. Turning to and “tuning into” the intelligence of nature itself is key.
Praying and worshipping in forests is inviting me to explore a new vocation. I often wince when I see fresh cut tree trunks piled on logging trucks on their way to the mill. How is cutting down the forests in my neighborhood being regulated and managed? What is the reforestation plan? New neighborhoods continue to appear at a steady rate. Does the county on this small island have a cap on population growth? These are questions that I will ask my fellow humans. And, I will continue listening to the heart of the forest speaking, as I seek to be a faithful neighbor and steward of creation, especially forests.
Ancient Rooting, Susan Cohen Thompson
“Ancient Rooting” Painting by Susan Cohen Thompson
And I am grateful. Thanks be to God for the forests of this Earth and how they remind us of the importance of diversity, interdependence and community, both in the human population and in the life, we share on this planet. Thanks be to God for creating trees and forests to be divine messengers, inviting us to reground ourselves in the sacred world of all creation. Thanks be to God that trees and forests have a heart—a heart to heal our Earth. May we listen to their wisdom and allow our forests to flourish.
NOTE: As an Amazon Associate I receive a small amount for purchases made through the link above.
Let them praise the name of the Lord! For he commanded and they were created.
Psalm 148:5 (ESV)
Psalm 148 presents a call for all creation to praise God, everything from earthly kings to creeping things, from shining stars to ocean bars. Someday, all creation will be renewed to praise more fully. I can’t wait to hear the singing of the trees! In the meantime, I find nature inspiring me to praise the Creator. How can I share this sense of wonder with others?
I respond to God’s created works primarily in two ways: photography and writing. A few years ago, I discovered that making photo books could link these two passions. I combine my favorite images with words that direct attention to God. However, I found limitations in sharing such projects due to their high cost. Then, a couple years ago, my favorite on-line photo book site offered a new option: 6” x 6” mini books for under $10.00 each, including postage and handling. I experimented with making books using a single photo on each page, accompanied by a Scripture verse and/or personal reflection. My most recent project, Sacred Paths, features photographs of trails or other paths taken over the years, accompanied by Bible verses that include the word “path.” I ordered several copies and have used them for gifts when I am looking for something small and personal to give. In this way, I can share with others the sense of awe and wonder I feel in observing God’s creation.
As we enter this season of Thanksgiving, I’ve been pondering how I might use this medium to focus my thoughts on gratitude, particularly for God’s creation. I plan to take a photo each day of one feature of God’s creation, then write a brief reflection of what that reveals about the nature of God or why this inspires gratefulness. My goal is to create at least 20 reflections (as that is the number of pages of the basic book) during the period between Canadian Thanksgiving on October 9 and the United States Thanksgiving on November 23. I trust that the discipline of focusing on the particulars of what God has made will stimulate my heart to praise.
It’s a very bleak autumn day in Seattle with the rain falling hard outside. As I sat here this morning my heart aching for the horrors of war now in the Middle East as well as Ukraine, and my soul bleeding for the First Australians who faced a No vote at the recent referendum that would have given them a voice for decisions about their own future. My tears welled up and flowed like the raindrops outside.
My grief seemed so fitting after my Meditation Monday: When Grief and Gratitude Come Together, in which I wrote “We cannot talk about gratitude without also talking about grief. We cannot develop effective rituals for expressing gratitude without creating equally powerful rituals for processing grief.” In response to my reflections this morning, I adapted one of the prayers in yesterday’s post. You can find it at the bottom of this email. This was also a big part of the Season of Gratitude retreat on Saturday, and much appreciated by participants. For all of us, grief and gratitude are intimately intertwined at the moment. Make sure that you give expression to both. There is one more retreat in this series A Quiet Advent retreat on December 9th. If you regret not signing up for all three retreats, please feel free to register for these and we will send you the recordings of the two you missed.
Lilly Lewin’s Freerange Friday: God Holds Our Tears portrays another way to express our lament, using a pitcher of water to represent our tears. It is a powerful but simple ritual that I think many of you will find very effective.
Looking ahead on the church calendar, there are many other opportunities for us to find the balance between grief and gratitude. I heartily recommend planning a celebration for All Saints’ Day or Day of the Dead coming up at the beginning of November. You might like to balance it with a Halloween practice that focuses on ways to make this a greener, more sustainable event. Or work with others in your church to plan a Blue Christmas Service and provide an opportunity for everyone to express the grief that so often balances hope and joy at Christmas time. This is an increasingly popular Advent practice that I heartily recommend to everyone.
I loved Jeannie Kendall’s post for World Sight Day, The Importance of Seeing. She mentioned that her own glaucoma is easily kept under control with drops, in contrast to the many sufferers I saw during my years on the M/V Anastasis who had no access to this simple treatment. June Friesen in What Do You See, What Do You Hear? challenges us to prepare for for a heart to heart encounter with Jesus. Her other post Windows of Hope had me looking for “windows” in the patchy sky above. I loved her suggestion that sometimes we see clearly and at others our vision is cloudy.
One thing that came out of the retreat on Saturday, was the desire of participants for me to hold more such retreats on a regular basis. In response to this demand, I plan to launch another series of 3 retreats for the Spring next year. Please pray that this will come together easily. If you have suggestions of specific topics that you would like to see covered in these retreats, please let me know.
I am also hoping to launch my podcast The Liturgical Rebel at the beginning of 2024. It will focus not on deconstructing Faith but on reconstructing. We need help to reshape our faith so that it is effective in today’s world and I am excited about the ways that this podcast might assist us in doing that. I appreciate your prayers as we work out the details.
You may like to sit for a couple of minutes after reading this email and consider the places in which you also experience grief that has not been fully processed.
The rain is falling,
Great big tear-like drops that wrench at my heart.
How often our tears are closer than praise.
Yet God’s love still surrounds us,
Jesus still comforts us,
The Spirit still dwells within.
When tears are closer than praise,
Let us sit and welcome them into our souls.
May they foster compassion,
Inspire love,
Give birth to peace.
Our trust is in you, O Eternal One,
We put our hope in your transforming love,
And wait for you to wash away tears
From all the peoples of the earth.
~Christine Sine, 2021
Join Christine Sine as she leads a morning of scripture reading and quiet reflection that will be for many of us a much needed oasis of quiet in the midst of this chaotic season.
When Lynne Baab wrote her book Two Hands: Grief and Gratitude in the Christian Life, it was the first time I had considered the important balance between grief and gratitude. It was one of the most impacting books I read in 2021. Part of what it made me realize is that we cannot talk about gratitude without also talking about grief. We cannot develop effective rituals for expressing gratitude without creating equally powerful rituals for processing grief.
In her book Lynne gleaned from an equally important article The Geography of Sorrow – Francis Weller on Navigating Our Losses – by Tim McKee, based on an interview with Francis Weller about his book The Wild Edge of Sorrow. Reading both the article and the book resulted in me asking important questions of myself. It is not just about grieving for what we have lost in the pandemic or grieving for our world of violence and ecological disaster. Most of us hold huge wells of unexpressed grief inside us because we live in a culture where grief is unwelcome, something we need to get over quickly. We are ashamed to grieve. As a consequence we are prone to addiction, depression, violence, suicide, possibly cancer, heart disease and I would add PTSD.
The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend towards cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop much compassion for other people’s suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible. (The Geography of Sorrow – Francis Weller on Navigating Our Losses – by Tim McKee)
So a few important gems I picked up from the article –
First – We need rituals of grieving and these rituals should be communal. This doesn’t mean we don’t go off and weep in solitude, but after we do we should be welcomed back into a group where we can pour out and empty our sorrows together in an environment of comfort and mutual support. I love the rituals of using a cup that Lilly Lewin regularly introduces us to. She uses these in the Thinspace Nashville services she conducts each week as well as for her personal practices. Her recent Freerange Friday: God Holds Our Tears provided another important ritual using a pitcher of water that is also very profound. These are the types of practices we all need to help us maintain the grief/gratitude balance.
In healthy cultures one person’s wound is an opportunity for another to bring medicine. But if you are silent about your suffering, then your friends stay spiritually unemployed. In Navajo culture, for example, illness and loss are seen as communal concerns, not as the responsibility of the individual. Healing is a matter of restoring hozho – beauty/harmony in the community. The Geography of Sorrow – Francis Weller on Navigating Our Losses – by Tim McKee
Second – we should approach grief with reverence, engaging it, sitting with it, mulling it over and recognizing it is worthy of our time . I think this is particularly important at the moment. We all came out of the pandemic with a load of grief weighing us down. Since them we confronted the horrors of war in Ukraine and Israel/Palestine, earthquakes in Turkey and Afghanistan and the climate crisis that overwhelms us. We are encouraged to feel we should get over our grief quickly, or pretend there is no grief weighing us down. We are encouraged get back to normal, maybe go on a shopping spree and enjoy life again. Grief is seen as something to be ashamed of, not something to embrace. It is easy to dismiss the need for rituals of grief especially as the consumer culture hypes up for the Christmas season. After all isn’t Christmas meant to be “the happiest season of all?”
Here are a few of my suggestions on rituals that can help us process our grief and move towards gratitude in the coming months:
- Sit around the table with your family or a few close friends and talk about those things from the past that still need to be grieved over. I have sat around tables with a cup of tea in the most unlikely circumstances grieving together with friends and family. I still vividly remember when I was in practice in Christchurch New Zealand and and a teenager died of cancer. I sat, with his family as we created a circle around his body and they shared stories about his life. Just talking about these together can bring a measure of healing. Discuss other ways that you could support each other as you process your grief.
- Plan a celebration for All Saints’ Day or Day of the Dead coming up at the beginning of November. Celebrating, grieving and giving thanks for those who have gone before are all interwoven in these important days on the church calendar. I love the ribbons of remembrance that our church creates every year. We all have an opportunity to write the names of our loved ones on ribbons that later are woven around the altar rail or hung around the church.
- Plan a Blue Christmas celebration. Here on Godspace we provide a growing set of resources to help with this celebration. During the COVID lockdown, we participated in a powerful and extremely meaningful online Blue Christmas service where we interwove liturgy, creativity, scripture and music together.
- Plan regular retreat days over the next few months to help you slow down, grieve and find that much needed balance between grief and gratitude. Part of the wonder of the Advent and Christmas story which we are quickly moving towards is the recounting of both joy and tragedy. If you follow the liturgical calendar you know that December 28th is Holy Innocents Day when we commemorate the execution of the innocent, male children in Bethlehem as told in Matthew 2:16. It is an uncomfortable day that I always want to skip over, but this year I know it is worthy of remembering. So many innocents have died in the last year from hunger, disease, violence and natural disasters. This story gives us the foundations for grieving our own losses. It is just as easy for us to skip over the tragedy because of our desire to focus on the joy. This year we need to make space for both.
- Write or read poetry, create a piece of artwork, take a photo that juxtaposes grief and gratitude. This was one of my responses to the horrors going on in Israel/Palestine. The photo above, I felt really gave a glimpse of something to be grateful for in the midst of grief. I also wrote this poem which flowed out of my heart as I look at what is happening and was overcome by grief. It was inspired by Matt 5:43-47 and Colossians 1:18-20 in The Message. As I wrote it I found myself giving thanks for the many places in scripture where grief and gratitude come together
Is our world broken beyond repair?Will we always meet violenceWith more violence?Death with death?Hate with hate?What happened to love?What have we done with Jesus,With the One who holds all things togetherAnd promises to fix,All the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe.The One who told us:Love your enemiesLet them bring out the best in youNot the worstLive out your God-created identity,Live generously and graciously towards others.Be loving in all circumstances.God is love.Christine Sine 2023
- Listen to Leonard Cohen’s incredible song Hallelujah which I listen to regularly to help me process some of my grief burden and help me find the silver linings of gratitude often hidden in its midst
Journal about your grief feelings.
Read Psalm 130 or similar psalm that begins with grief and ends in praise. Sit in the presence of your feelings of grief and allow God to bring healing. As I did that this week this simple poem grew in my mind:
When tears are closer than praise,
God’s love still surrounds me,
Jesus still comforts me,
The Spirit still dwells within.
When tears are closer than praise,
I sit and welcome them into my soul.
My trust is in you O Eternal One,
I put my hope in your transforming love,
And wait for you to wash away my tears.
Christine Sine October 2021.
NOTE: As an Amazon Associate I receive a small amount for purchases made through links above. Thank you for supporting Godspacelight in this way.
As an Amazon Associate, I receive a small amount for purchases made through appropriate links.
Thank you for supporting Godspace in this way.
When referencing or quoting Godspace Light, please be sure to include the Author (Christine Sine unless otherwise noted), the Title of the article or resource, the Source link where appropriate, and ©Godspacelight.com. Thank you!