By Lynne M. Baab —
I am having a conversation at coffee hour with a woman who is struggling in her job. As she talks about her discouragement, I say, “Can I say a quick prayer for you?”
She says yes, and right there amid the people chatting over coffee, I put my hand on her shoulder and pray for God’s guidance, strength and mercy for her.
Pastoral care that is uniquely Christian must have a component of prayer. Sometimes we can pray aloud for the person we are caring for as I did at coffee hour that day. Other times, the prayer is silent within us, because we can see that the person we are talking with is feeling very far from God or would not welcome prayer for some other reason.
Pastoral carers can invite care recipients into many different forms of prayer, such as silent prayer, breath prayer, inner healing prayer, using a printed prayer, or praying a psalm together. In order to pray with care recipients, carers obviously need to feel comfortable praying, which can only happen with experience praying on their own or in other settings with people.
Feeling comfortable praying – for the sake of praying with and for care recipients – is one reason by carers need to have a rich life of spiritual practices. I’ll write about three other reasons, and I bet you can think of even more.
- Spiritual practices – various forms of prayer, various forms of Bible study, and other practices such as Sabbath keeping, fasting and journaling – enable us to perceive God’s guidance. Carers need God’s guidance in so many ways. Is God calling me to reach out to this person? In what way? What questions should I ask? What stories from my own life should I tell? Should I offer practical help or simply a listening ear?
I need God’s help to know what to do. Over time, spiritual practices train us in our ability to perceive God’s direction, an essential component of caring.
- Spiritual practices help us rest in the fact that all caring is God’s ministry, not our own. Other people’s lives belong to God, not to us, and we are not responsible for what happens to them or what they experience. We are responsible to care, to walk beside people in their pain, but we cannot fix them, heal them, or change them. This is the single truth that I wish I had known more deeply when I was an associate pastor in a congregation.
In those years, I felt weighed down by people’s pain, as if I was somehow responsible to heal or fix their pain. I wish I had known more clearly that their lives belonged to God, and my responsibility was to journey with them. This perspective can be nurtured by spiritual practices.
- If we have a rich understanding and experience of spiritual practices, we’ll be able to guide care recipients into spiritual practices of their own. One goal of Christian caring is to help people draw near to God. Therefore part of our caring involves helping care recipients figure out the best ways they can do that. If we have had a wide experience of spiritual practices, we will be more likely to be able to help care recipients talk through the ways they already draw near to God. We’ll be able to help them brainstorm new options.
This is the fourth and last post in a series about pastoral care today. I’ve been writing about themes from my new book, Nurturing Hope: Christian Pastoral Care in the Twenty-First Century. The previous posts covered:
I praise God that Jesus is the Good Shepherd who looks out for his sheep. We are called to be under-shepherds, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us into caring ministry, but God is the shepherd of all the sheep. We can rest in God’s care for us and for those we love.
By Rodney Marsh —
The Lord’s Prayer “And do not bring us to the time of trial….”
A crisis seems to be rapidly developing in the Western democracies. At the recent Garma Festival, Richard Flanagan said, “The world is being undone before us. History is once more moving, and it is moving to fragmentation on the basis of concocted differences…….. The bonfire of our vanities is fully loaded with the fuel of growing inequality, fear and division.” I hear the ‘ring of truth’ in his prophecy.
In his day, Jesus often spoke of an imminent, destructive, worldwide crisis or trial. So, when Jesus taught his followers to ask our Father, “Lead us not into trial”, he meant, “don’t, please God don’t push us into the time of crisis before you’ve made us ready for it. Don’t push us until you’ve given us what we need to face it.” (Rowan Williams). Our daily prayer, “…do not bring us to the time of trial” is not therefore, motivated by the desire to avoid inevitable suffering nor is it a desperate plea filled with fear, rather it is a request for courage to face what is coming. It is a prayer made in faith that our Father will see us through whatever is ahead.
When we teach our children to pray, “do not bring us to the time of trial” we are joining with them to travel together through dark valleys and well as the light plains. We face, with confidence, the unforeseen, and often uncontrollable, frightening circumstances of our lives because we know we never travel alone. As the storm clouds were gathering around Jesus, his own daily prayer was “do not bring us to the time of trial”. Consequently Jesus became strong to face what was to come and he told his followers, “When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, You will soon be set free.” Perhaps, when a coming firestorm fuelled with “growing inequality, fear and division” can be seen approaching us, and our nation, it is the time to teach our children to pray, “do not bring us to the time of trial” in faith and hope.
Prayer: Our Father, it seems there are storms ahead today. Please let the storm pass, but if it does not, stay with us. In the storm, strengthen us. Grant faith to replace fear. Then enable us to stand up, and lift our heads to welcome our freedom. Amen.
PS We should note that, in context, the word Jesus uses for “the time of trial” does not mean a “temptation”, as in the traditional version of the Lord’s Prayer meaning to be tempted to do something morally wrong. It means rather “crisis” or “trial” such as Jesus experienced in Garden of Gethsemane.
by Christine Sine
Part of the fun of autumn for me is getting fruit and vegetables that will see us through the winter ready to store. I hold apple processing parties and make apple pies, pesto and chocolate zucchini bread that go in the freezer for winter hospitality. I dry apples and tomatoes and sometimes figs. I harvest the dried beans and winter squash and store them away to help provide for our winter diet. What we need is food that will last through the long winter months without spoiling.
What spiritual fruit can we harvest now as a result of our spring planting and summer growth that will see us though the slow and sometimes painful days of winter? What comes to mind for me are:
- Gratitude – for both what has passed and for what is present now in the midst of the shortening days.
- Awe and wonder – appreciating the beauty and wonder of the present season not hankering after what has gone.
- Retreat and slowing down (yes I know I keep harping on this but I need constant reminders and I suspect many of us do.)
Remember the Past With Thanksgiving.
What are you grateful for in the season that has passed? One American feast I have embraced with enthusiasm is Thanksgiving. In fact I have made the week of American Thanksgiving my gratitude week. Each morning I love to look back over the year and remind myself of all I have to be grateful for. I am storing up gratitude in my heart and mind to nourish me over the winter.
My favorite scripture to read at this season is Psalm 107 with its repeated refrain: Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. Such good words for us to ponder as we enter a season of change. Then I make a list, if I am on top of my game I write thank you notes and I embellish my journal with decorative thanksgiving patterns. It boosts my spirits and helps me relax into the changes that are coming.
Get Ready To Embrace the New
What are you looking forward to in the new season that is coming? What gives you a sense of awe? I have mentioned before that Tom and I call our daily walks “awe and wonder walks”. We look for what gives us a sense of awe now – the changing colors of autumn and winter, the scenes visible through the bare trees that I cannot see in summer, the changing light that brings breathtaking reflections to the lake. We talk about these and keep our eyes open for them. It brings a certain exhilaration to the season that nourishes our souls and our spirits.
Identifying the benefits we are already aware of in the season that lies ahead is one great way to prepare our hearts and minds for the future. Concentrating on the good that could lie ahead rather than bemoaning what is passing is one good way to keep ourselves in tiptop spiritual condition. Once again it is good to make a list. What are your hopes and expectations for this coming season? What are your goals for spirit, soul and body? What new disciplines will encourage you to embrace the new?
Strengthen Your Stability Zones
It is also good to think about what will not change. What are the stability points in your life that will provide a secure and immovable foundation for what lies ahead? Are there people that support and encourage you? Are there practices that give you a sense of security or that bring light in the midst of the darkness? I find that when I walk each day no matter what the weather is like, the darkness does not bother me as it once did. I have learned to appreciate the cold and enjoy the rain. And I love my nice warm coat and sheepskin boots that make it possible. Are there objects you love or practices you enjoy that anchor you during a season of change? Identifying and strengthen these – store them in your heart and in your soul so that they will nourish you at the right time.
Today is Honey Bee Awareness Day! Enjoy this beautiful post by Jan Blencowe —
This month’s theme, the Spirituality of Imperfect, triggered some discomfort around the prospect of writing about “the imperfect” parts of life, self, and spirituality.
Then there was the curious notion of imperfect actually being spiritual. Perhaps it would be something like the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.
Today is also “honey bee awareness day” and somehow those two things, honey bees and the Spirituality of Imperfect needed to be brought together and produce a pearl of spiritual insight.
There’s a reason we need to have honey bee awareness day. It’s because bees are in trouble. They’re dying from a number of interrelated causes, and we are responsible for the two most destructive factors, pesticides and habitat loss. The way we live on this planet is highly imperfect when it comes to balancing our short term needs (and wants) and making ecologically sound decisions that support both the natural world and humanity’s long term needs, such as sustainable and reliable food sources. Seventy out of the top one hundred human food crops are pollinated by bees. These crops supply about ninety percent of the worlds nutrition. The loss of bees is not only a tragedy but it puts our own survival at risk as well.
A Spirituality of Imperfect brings to mind the triple graces, forgiveness, restoration and unity. These three powerful energies are able to work on behalf of imperfection to create something beautiful. Since my own spirituality will always be imperfect that’s reassuring.
Something imperfect is generally thought of as blemished, marred, tainted, stained, broken, bent, twisted, ruined, or lacking. Imperfect is always what my own spirituality will be in and of itself. However, when grafted into the True Vine, my own spiritual life will have infinitely more love and goodness in it for being permanently united to the Perfect Source.
It’s that union that allows forgiveness and restoration to be graciously and abundantly poured into my soul. I am still imperfect, but now I have access to what is perfect.
These three remedies of forgiveness, restoration and unity inspire me to see my own imperfect spirituality as forgiven, restored and in unity with the Divine. In fact it’s my own imperfect spiritual ways that create the unique need for a spirituality of imperfect and allows for the experience of grace, applied in such a way as to make room for imperfect, to become part of my very imperfect human life.
But what about the bees? Here’s where having a spirituality of imperfect allows for practical, positive, forward movement in my life.
Eight years ago we bought a beautiful piece of property to build a house on. Someplace to live is a legitimate need, yet the destruction necessary to clear the land, blast the ledge and level a hill was enormous. It’s imperfect to have to cause such destruction to build a home. In this imperfect situation I felt the need to ask forgiveness for the destruction and offer gratitude for the land. That’s what we human beings have been doing for millenia. In fact it is the basis for most religious systems going back into the mists of time. Our ancestors felt compelled to offer gratitude for the animals and plants that provided them with their basic needs, and to ask forgiveness for having to take the lives of animals and plants in order to live. Ceremonies, temples, altars, and rituals around this theme are common in the spiritual lives of our ancestors across the globe. We must eat and we must have clothing and shelter and other living beings must be killed in order to provide that for us. That seems an imperfect way of existing. A spirituality of imperfect requires a spirituality of grace to make it work.
After our home was built and I had a chance to assess the property in its state of shock and trauma from the destruction of being cleared, I entered into a sacred contract of restoration and unity with the land. As restoration and unity had been poured into my soul, I would pour restoration and unity into my land.
It was then I made a commitment to replant my land for pollinators, especially bees specifically because of the dangers they face today. Native plants and trees were planted in abundance. Shrubs and perennials as nectar sources were chosen and sited in especially appealing locations for the bees. Of course not only the bees benefited, many other pollinators, butterflies, moths, birds and animals have formed a robust, healthy, unified community on our land. The unity of community includes myself. I feel so much a part of the land and its trees, bees, birds and animals. That sense of unity extends even further into the Divine Life that sustains us all. When I am wandering through my gardens and woods I experience that unity in deep and restorative ways.
The imperfect met by the grace of forgiveness, restoration and unity, and a spirituality of imperfect embraced by a spirituality of grace has the power to move me through the imperfections in life and in my soul to an understanding that sees a greater plan of love and healing at work.
by Lilly Lewin
Last week while leading a sabbath retreat, I participated in an art meditation where four people prayed around one piece of board core form board using colorful chalk pastels. My host for the weekend led the meditation and after each prayer prompt, we would draw in response. Then we would turn the board a quarter turn and draw again, adding to the art prayer already created by our neighbor. During one turn of the board, I noticed that my neighbor had drawn a cocoon on the stem of a rose. Just the chrysalis , the cocoon, not a butterfly and no caterpillar or butterfly in sight! Most of the images on our board were abstract designs and a few words or phrases so the image of the chrysalis stood out. God reminded me about the green goo stage of creation.
I first heard about the green goo stage in Art Class in California. My teacher Karen Ingalls told us that the caterpillar goes in his cocoon but first he must actually decompose into green goo before he transforms into a beautiful butterfly.
Karen told us that often when we paint we’d get to the green goo stage. That time in the painting when you are so frustrated that you just want to throw the painting in the bin or trash it & paint over your painting and just start all over! You’ve been working and working and you just can’t quite get it to look like you want it to… Karen said that is when you are in the green goo! And we have to go through the green goo stage to get to the good stuff, to get to the beautiful creation on the other side.
You have to stick with the painting, not give up or paint over it. You must go through the green goo stage to get to the beautiful creation on the others side! And usually when you’ve reached the green goo stage you are getting really close to seeing that butterfly!
This is how my life has felt lately, like a pile of green goo. Things have not felt like they are going together well and there is a lack of clarity and a lot of little frustrations that have added up to big ones. Jesus used the art meditation with the drawing of the cocoon to remind me that i am just living in the green goo stage right now. Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that I don’t need to be discouraged or give up or drop everything and run ahead like i so often do! Just know I am in the green goo!
We so often get to the place where we cannot see what is next! We don’t understand what God is up to or we cannot see even what the next step should be. Sometimes there are too many choices, other times their are not enough or it doesn’t appear there are any! That is the green goo!
That’s when God is at work transforming us into the butterfly. Usually it’s uncomfortable, change always is! And transformation always is. Because you are morphing into something new!
And mostly we don’t like it, and we just want to chuck everything in the bin and run away.
But like the caterpillar, we need to know that there is something on the other side. We need to know that we don’t end in green goo. God is transforming us and our lives into something beautiful. We just cannot see it yet.
How about you? What season are you in now? Are you crawling along nicely like a caterpillar or soaring like a butterfly? Or are you just in the middle of the transformational, sometimes totally frustrating, green goo stage?
Take some time to talk to Jesus about this. Allow Jesus to show you where you are and what he is up to in your life. Take time this week to notice the caterpillars, the butterflies and even a cocoon! Let these things remind you that God is doing things in your life…even in the green goo!
And check out the video on what really happens to the caterpillar!
By Keren Dibbens-Wyatt —
“These blasted raindrops!” said the rose. “Why do they have to keep falling on me?” She grumbled and grunted her way through the day, shaking her petalled mane every time a heavenly drip or a dewdrop had the audacity to rest on her smooth perfect pinkness.
“My head is not a waiting room or a hotel!” she screeched, “There’s nothing to see here, move along! I want to be dry and light and not weighed down by all this water!”
That afternoon a famous photographer came to the rose garden, having heard of its beauty, and the perfect rose shimmied her shoulders and prepared herself for international renown and a place on the cover of Top Garden magazine. But the photographer walked all around the garden and selected what the rose considered to be a far more straggly and inferior rose bush to focus on.
“But these are our best blooms,” said the gardener, indicating the bush on which the first rose was by far the most splendid, and scratching her head, “Why’ve you set up over there?” The photographer replied,
“These are holding the raindrops just beautifully and they glimmer like jewels, especially if I catch the light with my angle and lens just so,” and he showed the gardener through his viewfinder.
“Wow,” she said, “That is amazing, like little rainbows sitting on the petals.”
“Exactly,” he replied. “Plus perfection can be overrated you know. The perfect photograph is usually of something imperfect. Flawlessness can be boring and unemotive, it doesn’t necessarily engage.” The gardener nodded, having loved sawfly and caterpillars just as much as she had blooms and butterflies.
“Like the lawn?” she ventured, “I prefer moss and buttercups to endless stripes.”
“Exactly,” he smiled, and continued with his work. And the rose, who had heard all of this, stopped shaking her head when the rain fell, and squinted her eyes just a little, trying to see the jewels and rainbows in the drops, happy from then on to wear a watery tiara, whether it got her on the cover of a magazine or not.
By Lynne M. Baab —
Stress is ramping up. I use the term “new/old” to describe the stress people today deal with. “Old” sources of stress include all sorts of stressors that have always been around, such as illness, grief, unemployment, and family discord. New sources of stress include political polarization, the tyranny of smart phones, and the rising cost of housing and education. Understanding the new/old sources of stress that people face today is a key skill for pastoral care.
In my previous post I wrote about trends in pastoral care, and in the post before that, I introduced the idea that our understanding of Christian pastoral care has changed in recent years. These ideas come from my new book, Nurturing Hope: Christian Pastoral Care in the Twenty-First Century.
The second half of my new book focuses on four skills for pastoral care. I’ve mentioned one of them already – understanding stress. I’ll discuss two more of them today, and in my next post I’ll discuss one of them that will perhaps be most relevant for readers of this blog on Christian spirituality.
Understanding new/old sources of stress, how stress affects the body and soul, and how to cope with stress is one important skill for caring in our time. A second significant skill for pastoral care is listening skills. In 2011, I conducted interviews with 62 ministers and congregational leaders about the role of listening in congregational life and mission. Almost all of my interviewees agreed that many Christians need to grow in listening skills. They talked about how common it is for people to be uncomfortable with silence.
Many of my interviewees talked about the concept of “inner noise,” those racing thoughts that intrude on our ability to listen. Maybe we just can’t let go of the to-do list. Maybe thoughts of the conflict we just had with a friend or family member keep intruding. Maybe we have a strong need to help or fix the person we’re listening to, and we just can’t stop ourselves from giving advice. Learning to cope with inner noise as we listen is a key pastoral care skill.
A third important skill for pastoral care is the kind of self-care that builds resilience. Many people who engage in a lot of caring are soft-hearted, gentle people who are often more aware of other people’s needs than their own. All pastoral carers, but especially those who focus most easily on other people’s needs, must develop rhythms of life that nourish inner strength and provide balance.
I am a devoted Sabbath keeper, and I have found great benefit from my Sabbath practice. Others have found that they can nurture resilience by rhythms of walking, hiking, exercising at the gym, gardening, reading, crafting, meals with friends or family members, and many other forms of re-creative activities.
How we think about our life and our responsibilities also influence resilience. The challenge is to let go of the inner messages that encourage us to be busy every minute, or to serve until all needs are met. We need to encourage each other into beliefs that enable us to embrace rhythms, such as:
- God calls us to rhythms. Sometimes we are care-givers, sometimes care recipients, and sometimes we rest.
- I can listen to my body when it tells me to stop and rest.
- God calls me to fun and play as well as to service and caring.
The three skills I’ve mentioned here lay an important foundation for healthy and effecting Christian care in the twenty-first century: understanding new/old sources of stress, listening well, and embracing rhythms that nurture resilience. A fourth skill for pastoral care is engaging in spiritual practices, both for our own sakes and for the sake of care recipients. I’ll write about that in the next post.
To be continued . . .
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