Shining Gift of God – A Memoir of the Life of Nathanael Marcus

by Hilary Horn

By Steve Wickham

Any parent who loses a baby wants to believe their baby is safe in heaven.

When we received the news that broke us in July 2014, that our baby in utero (22 weeks) would not

survive, we were devastated. I was a pastor in a largish community and an avid blogger. We knew

there would be many people interested in what was happening to us, yet how do we deal with the

awkwardness of loss? I chose to communicate our vulnerability and wrote blog articles for four

months before Nathanael ultimately passed away, then for another eight months after his funeral.

The expression of our grief not only helped Sarah and I reconcile our ambiguous loss, but I think it

made it easier for others to approach us, and there is no doubt that Nathanael’s life had a significant

impact at the time… and has since.


Our Memoir of the life of Nathanael Marcus emerges out of what we discovered in our grief. We only

had 179 hours with Nathanael before his funeral, but this book, and making the most of his physical

presence with us at that time, along with the other mementos we’ve gathered along the way, have

helped us make sense of our loss. It is our story. And we want our story to count for others, too.

We pray the book will be an encouragement to people who have grieved or are enduring loss and

hope it will provide insight for anyone who reads it. It could be something you buy for someone else,

or to keep on the shelf for a future time. Or, it could simply be part of your learning journey to

understand a little about how we grieved. The book is only part of our vision to support families. We

have a pastoral heart and want to draw near to those who are suffering, to listen and be present.

Funds raised from the sale of Nathanael’s Memoir go to the Pallister-Killian Syndrome Foundation of

Australia (PKSFA), which is what Nathanael had, and to Heartfelt, who generously supply professional

photographers free of charge to come and take family photos which become invaluable mementos.

You can also hear an interview from Steve and Sarah, here.


You may also like

Leave a Comment