Meditation Monday – Tips For Coping With Change

by Christine Sine

by Christine Sine

This last week was a challenging one for many of us. For some it meant rejoicing and affirmation of deeply held beliefs, for others despair and grief over unwelcome changes. Whatever our beliefs, these next few months will be a time of transition and transitions mean change. They are always challenging, sometimes painful. They can turn our world upside down and often help us clarify what is important and of value to us. Underneath it all, we crave stability and tend to resist change. We want to hold onto the familiar and the comforting. The leeks and garlic of Egypt, all that sustained us in our past lives, beckon us.

Ironically, change is one of the few constants in our world. Like the sunset above, there is little constancy in the world around us. It changes from moment to moment, day to day, season to season. In this context we embrace and welcome it. Yet in our lives it unsettles and often disturbs us.

The changes in our lives are usually marked by deliberate steps we take that say life is going to be different this is how I will step into it. Sometimes these are voluntary steps, at other times we feel they are forced upon us. Jesus marked transition times with unexpected and sometimes radical actions. He heralded his move into adulthood (at the age of 12) by staying behind in Jerusalem to ask questions of the religious leaders (Luke 3:46). He inaugurated his ministry with 40 days in the desert (Luke 4:2) and he marked his transition towards the cross by a deliberate and determined walk towards Jerusalem (Luke 9:51). Jesus knew when it was time to say “life is going to be different in the future” and he knew how to prepare for those changes.

We are about to transition into a new season – in the church calendar from ordinary time to a new church year – Advent is coming fast, for those of us who celebrate Celtic Advent that begins at the end of this week. I am getting ready for that change by redecorating my desk and of course preparing to read Celtic Advent: Following An Unfamiliar Path

Many are also transitioning into new stages in their lives. Some are leaving school to start new jobs. Others are moving across the country or even across the world.

We are also getting ready for the changes that a new presidency will bring not just to the U.S. but to the world. Some face these changes with fear and trepidation, others with rejoicing and delight. Whatever the changes we face transitions often make us feel insecure, uncertain, anxious about circumstances we cannot control. They are never easy. How do we prepare? How do we make the most of this new season and the impact it has on our lives and those we care about?

Transitions require us to identify the stability points that will not change.

The place to start as we face transition is not with what is changing but what is not changing. What are the stability points that provide anchors and keep me strong throughout change?

Part of what I have reflected on over the last few weeks is the foundations of my faith in the goodness of a loving God who cares for all creation not just the humans on our planet. I believe God has a tend heart towards the marginalized and abandoned. This is the bedrock of my life that I know should not change. I need the security of knowing that not everything will change. I need to be able to stand firm in my faith as well as in my important relationships.

Question: What do I need to hold onto that will strengthen my faith and beckon me towards God’s love?

Transitions require deliberate steps towards change. 

It is easy to settle into the familiar patterns of the past and not consciously work towards the changes God wants us to make. Routines provide comfort for us and when they change we are often disoriented and destabilized. Suddenly there are lots of new options out there for us. We don’t know what we should be doing. Some of the new options look scary. Their unfamiliarity might be intimidating. It is easier to look back and criticize or grieve over what we are forced to leave behind than to look forward and live in expectation of the new. Deliberately working towards change is a very important and at times painful journey for us.

Question: What do I long for that I should be letting go of? What is God challenging me to grab hold of that I am reluctant to grasp?

Transitions require the creation of new boundaries and new rituals.

When Tom and I stepped down from the leadership of Mustard Seed Associates we embarked on a major remodel in our house. As part of that remodel I moved the desk in my office so that it is not longer the focal point of my space. My corner became primarily a sacred space and only secondarily a work space. It was part of the transition, part of the establishing of new boundaries and new rituals. It provided a new environment for both of us to work in and encouraged us to establish new practices and new priorities. Over the seven years since then my refocused space has become a haven for me a place that reflects both change and stability.

Then we went on a major trip for our 25th wedding anniversary, taking 6 weeks off to travel Europe, visit some of our favourite people and places and set boundaries around what had been and what was to come. We both came back refreshed, renewed and ready to start on new things.

Question: What changes may be necessary in your physical environment to prepare for the spiritual changes ahead?

Transitions require space and time for dreaming new dreams.

Transition time is busy time. It is easy to fill our days without really thinking about the future. Sometimes the dreams that moved us towards transition seem to get lost in the process.

We need to take to time to breathe, to sit still and reflect. Clearing our calendars for a season, going on retreat, taking time to allow God to renew and refocus us is essential. Tom and I will be going on retreat just after Christmas to reflect on the past year and look forward to the coming year. As many of you know this is something we do every six months. It helps keep us oriented on what really matters and equips us to weather change in the best ways possible.

Question: What space is necessary for dreaming new dreams for the future?

Transitions require companions for the journey.

As part of my transition away from Mustard seed Associates, I engaged with a new spiritual director and a life coach to help me move into this new season of my life. I also read a lot and sort the counsel of a broad array of friends and wise counsellors. I had lots of ideas that I thought were from God but realized I could move into the journey God had for me without help. Some of those ideas were lost and will never be fulfilled, others slowly came to fruition. I am at a similar transition place now, not just because of the U.S. election but because of other changes in my life and family. One of my friends told me very bluntly recently “Don’t take on another project without seeking my advice.”

We all need companions who can walk beside us, as well as those who can guide and help direct us into new seasons of life.

Question: Who are the companions and advisors that help you through transition?

Transitions cannot be rushed.

When I go through major transition season I always hope for a brief, sometimes painful phase and then pray everything will settle down again without too much hassle. However I know from experience that transitions usually take months if not years. It is easy to get impatient, to try to redirect what is happening, to give birth prematurely. This is not a season to hurry through. The season between conception and birth is essential and even after that there is a long and sometimes slow season of growth until maturity.

Question: How have we tried to hurry or redirect the transition process and tried to give birth prematurely?

What is your response?

Maybe you are not in a major transition time, maybe it is only the brief transition of changing seasons, but I am sure that the next few months holds some form of minor transition that require the same kinds of questions I am asking. Perhaps you are starting a new school year. Or you may be preparing for a new liturgical season. Or, preparing for the coming of winter or summer depending on which hemisphere you live in.

Sit and reflect on the transitions in your own life. What is God saying to you at this time that could help you through the days ahead?

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