By Shelby Hofer. She is a full time stay at home mom to two little ninja-pirates, a part time missionary to Switzerland, and a full time lover of Jesus. When she’s not being yelled at for trying to pee alone, she enjoys coffee, talking and listening to people’s stories. —
Right now feeding my baby looks eerily like that scene from Jurassic Park where the T-Rex has just gotten out of his fence, and they are in the cars and trying not to move because if they do they’ll attract his attention and get eaten!! Yeah, that’s my life right now. My littlest pirate ninja has been such a pain in the ### when it comes to taking her bottle lately that when she FINALLY starts to eat, it’s like, “Nobody move! On pain of death!” Because the second we twitch our noses, she immediately starts crying and won’t eat again. Ugh.
Sometimes, after a whole day of trying to get both of my little pirates to eat, and repeating myself about a hundred thousand million times, and listening to my toddler repeat HIMSELF a hundred thousand million times, and making 3 meals, and cleaning, and working, and trying to stay relatively clean (by “clean” I mean, that you can’t actually smell me from 4 feet away) I just want to scream at the first person who sneezes when I’m trying to feed the baby. And scream at my toddler for not. Eating. His. Food. That he totally loved yesterday. And scream at my hubby for unloading the dishwasher. (what?)
It’s nice to have my hubby around for accountability, in that it would be way more embarrassing to be caught in the act of losing my $#*% and that helps me to hold it together until bedtime. Though it’s something that I battle, pretty much daily. Being a mom is hard. Because we are everything to everyone in our family, all day, every day. And then we try to be a good friend, and a good daughter, and a good wife, not necessarily in that order. And we try to parent out of our marriage, but how do you do that when you are flinging past each other all week just trying to keep afloat? Oh yeah, still working on that one.
Everyone says, “This too shall pass”, and I kind of want to punch them in the face sometimes. Yes, I know it shall pass, but it sucks crazy right now. And it’s hard. And it’s painful. And it’s messy. And it’s uncomfortable. But this is my life. And lately I’m trying to focus on finding the joy.
Joy is not happiness. You can have joy and NOT be happy. Joy is the bright spots in the midst of the craziness. Joy is the moment when my toddler says “please”. Joy is the days when I feel like a rock star because I’ve done 3 loads of laundry AND put them away. Joy is the moments when you get a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.
So hang in there, mama. Sometimes the T-Rex bites your hand off, and sometimes you get to pet it and it gives you a lovely snuggle. Those are the joy moments. And while we don’t always have the energy to choose joy, we can practice looking for it.
1 Thessalonians 2:19-20 “For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy.”