Feeling Mortal – Making My Bucket List

by Christine Sine


Yesterday I visited the cardiologist. It is probable that my heart is OK but the mere mention of words like cardiac hypertrophy and atrial flutter made me feel my mortality as I never have before. As well as that we held an MSA Board meeting on Saturday at which we raised the question: What do Tom and I want to be doing in 5 years time? The last 24 hours have encompassed a lot of soul searching and reflecting. What do I hope to accomplish before I leave this earth?

My thoughts first went to places I want to visit – Alaska, Galapagos Islands, trans-Siberian railway, one more trip to Iona. The list could go on forever. How embarrassing that the first ideas that come to my mind are shaped by my culture and not by my faith. So with some prayer and reflection time under my belt I have come up with another list that I know I will continue to shape over the next few weeks particularly when Tom and I go on retreat next week.

  1. I want to grow in my faith especially in my ability to love God and my neighbours, to be more compassionate, generous and hospitable.
  2. I want to live in a way that is more considerate of God’s good creation and of those at the margins of society.
  3. I want to focus my energy on resourcing those who want to be change makers in the future. I would like to continue equipping followers of Jesus with spiritual practices, life skills and creative imaginations that strengthen their faith and their ability to reach out into God’s world. Which I think means being able to focus more on writing, and retreats as well as gardening and hospitality.
  4. I want to see Mustard Seed Associates grow into the Centre for Imagination and Creativity that we desire. In other words I would like to see the Mustard Seed Village constructed and rooted in an intentional community, providing a place for others to gather and imagine and create new forms of life and faith that address the challenges of tomorrow’s world.
  5. I want to see the Mustard Seed House continue to thrive as both a model of sustainability and as a place for gatherings where people can be strengthened in their faith and life. Part of the uniqueness of MSA is our desire to develop both an urban and a rural community as places to gather and create as well as to model sustainable life and sustainable faith.

Part of what grappling with my own mortality has done for me is to help me focus on what is important. I realize how easily all of us are conditioned by a culture that tells us buying and consuming are our main purpose. But as followers of Christ that should not be the case. Above all else, I want to be faithful to God’s call on my life. When I do come to the end of my life, I want to be able to look back without regrets.

What about you? What does your bucket list look like and how does that reflect God’s calling on your life?

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