photo from morguefile.com
New Year is a difficult time for those of us who are stuck in difficult or wearing circumstances. The idea of change is everywhere, as though a gym membership or a makeover were going to revitalise a stale marriage, or make caring for a cantankerous elderly relative any easier. A new lipstick is not going to heal me of my chronic illness, for example, nor a diet help my husband suffer its restrictions any better.
The idea that we need to improve in our own power is a misleading one, and this is probably why so many resolutions are left unresolved, as fragrant as what’s left of the turkey. What is the point of a new year then? Does it have any spiritual significance for us in Christmastide? Or is it just another false promise, like the commercialism that threatens to overwhelm everything?
The key, for me anyway, is found tucked away in the book of Lamentations, where Jeremiah, like the Psalmist, is totally honest about the miseries we all have to suffer, but whose bright hope shines out all the stronger for it:
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)
God’s mercies are new or fresh, every day. How do we allow fresh mercies each day to be extended to those who gnaw away at our peace of mind or our precious health? To the depressed spouse, the frustrated carer, the old person who rarely recognises us and sometimes bites – each of whom we love dearly and want to give God’s mercies to, but without holding a cumulative sheet of wrongs in our heart, particularly for those things that hurt us daily and happen over and over again, with no acknowledgment, no request for forgiveness. How do we forgive those with no cognisance of their transgression, and no desire to say sorry?
We have the right to protect our own worn out hearts and bodies of course, but in these long periods of unceasing care or of loving the difficult, how do we forgive ourselves for wanting to give up, leave or throw up our hands in despair? For those dark thoughts that come unbidden – maybe he’ll leave, I wish she’d die – for these, mercy is the answer, and mercies, it turns out, can be new moment by moment and they must come from God and be constantly and consistently renewed.
We need to recognise our own blaming mechanisms and our need for forgiveness before the Lord, and let his resulting mercy and grace flow out to us and then on to those we are blaming, to those we must continue to love even when often all we want to do is run away and sob in a cupboard (as we might well need to allow ourselves space to do now and again!).
Mercy comes in waves and it can roll on through and over us to be extended to others. We cannot do it ourselves, we can only begin it by acknowledging our own need for forgiveness and asking God to be the source and the process of new mercies.
The slates need to be washed clean each day, maybe every hour, and the eyes to be freshened also. We don’t make excuses for others (and this is especially the case with abuse, which I am not talking about here, that requires a different response), we don’t pretend the reality is different than it is, we do everything we can to make things as calm and easy for all parties as they can be. But we also recognise how hard it all is without self-pity, asking for all the help we can, and in particular asking God to help us see with his eyes, love with his heart and forgive with his mercy.
A Prayer
Lord, let us never say in our hearts to anyone, “You took the best years of my life!” But let us give our time, love and energy as a living sacrifice, offered not just to those around us, but to you, our loving Father. Let us never try to fool ourselves either, and say to anyone, “You were the best years of my life!” whilst inside carrying grudges. But let us rather ask for your help daily and say, “I give and gave you my time willingly, and with love.” Let us expect nothing in return, except the hope of one day hearing those precious words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Not so much to our earthly ears, but the highest honour heaven can bestow. Amen.
©Keren Dibbens-Wyatt 2016
Genesis 22:2: “God said, ‘Take your son, your only son whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah. Offer him up as an entirely burned offering there on one of the mountains that I will show you’,” Common English Bible (CEB.)
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, LORD God,
You know who’s dearest to me
and whether or not that’s You.
What hovers nearest my heart, O LORD?
What space has been filled
with no room left for You?
For Abraham, the filling, the indwelling
came with Isaac – or was it the promise
encompassed
beneath the breath and laughter?
What joy his birth gave to his father!
Do our lives fill You with joy?
Heavenly Father, help us to receive
and believe Your rejoicing
as You take joy in us.
Let nothing be joyless between us!
Let nothing blemish my worship and praise.
Let nothing in me mar Your pure Father’s love.
Set me high
in the stream of Your Ruah,
and let the chaff in me blow away.
Help me to know –
as Abraham did –
that no matter what You ask of me,
Your love will bring back
only goodness –
even from the grave.
Thoughts:
Generations later, the site where Abraham offered up his son is said to have become an ideal threshing floor, set on a spot high and windy where grains of wheat would immediately separate from the useless chaff. Reportedly, King David bought that site, which became the location of the Temple, built by his son Solomon. On that holy ground, animal sacrifices were made to God, Who clearly prohibited – and, in Abraham’s case, clearly prevented – a human sacrifice. What joy Abraham must have felt as he received back his dearly beloved son, given to him again from God!
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This is the first of a series of posts byMary Harwell Sayler excerpted from Praying with The Word on Love, a book in progress.
Christmas is over. The Christmas tree and lights are down. The Advent wreath and decorations are packed away. My Advent/Christmas garden with all its light has disappeared and I am still working on how to put together a new garden for this season. I always struggle with this. I am not sure what will emerge and at this point, I seem to have replaced the promise and joy of Christmas with a drab and uninviting plainness.
There is no plainness to the season of Epiphany however. This is a season about mission. We are encouraged to come and see, come and follow, go and tell others. As followers of Christ we are invited to reveal him to others so that they too might recognize him as Son of God and experience the hope and freedom that his message brings.
Broaden your vision during Epiphany
This is also a season to broaden our vision to remind ourselves of the many ways in which Christ is at work in our world – we need to look and listen for God’s voice and come and see the things that God is doing not just in our own churches and communities but also amongst the poor, amongst the oppressed, amongst the marginalized and ignored.
The season of Epiphany is when we celebrate the revelation of Christ’s divinity and the ways that he both was and is revealed in our world:
- First, in the revelation to the Magi, gentile wise men, who, guided by the mysterious Star of Bethlehem, came to visit, and bowed down to acknowledge him as lord and king. Christ is revealed to all persons not just to the Jews.
- Second, in his baptism by John. When the spirit of God descended on Jesus as a dove a voice from heaven proclaimed “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased”. This is one of the few occasions in the scriptures in which all three persons of the Holy Trinity are manifest together.
- Third, through his first public miracle – the wedding of Cana when Jesus turned water into wine. The transformative power manifested in Jesus extends to all creation.
See Where God is at Work
This is when I start to think about the need to get going with the spring garden. Heaps of catalogues arrive in the mail and my fingers itch to get down into the dirt and make something happen. This garden activity is a very appropriate one for the season of Epiphany. It reminds me that for my endeavours to produce fruit that others can enjoy, there is a lot of ground breaking work that needs to be done first.
Make Something Happen to Bring New Life
Making something happen to bring new life into our world is the spirit of Epiphany. We are called out into the world not just to talk about Christ but to reveal him to others through our deeds and actions. The garden is one place in which I both connect to God and work to help others connect to God, but it is not the only place. One of the challenges I have been thinking about over the Christmas season is How do I reveal Christ to others through my life? I want this season to be a true epiphany for myself and those around me. Perhaps you too would like to take time this weekend to think about this.
Here are some other suggestions to ponder:
There are many different ways that you could reveal the message of hope to others during this season. Consider doing one of the following during the weeks of Epiphany
- Do you have new neighbours? Are there newcomers to your church? Invite them over for an evening to get better acquainted
- Is this an opportunity to reach out to people in your office or workplace? Consider providing breakfast for those you work with. If you are feeling particularly adventurous you might like to make this a weekly or monthly event.
- Is there a university close by with international students? Invite a small group of students home for lunch or dinner. This is a great way to get know about another culture and the students will be very eager to learn more about your culture and religious traditions.
- Is there a senior care facility near where you live? Take your children over for a visit. Get them to read a story or sing a song for the residents. Consider taking some of the elderly people out for a trip.
- Is there a special way in which your children could reach out to others at their school or play group? Talk to them about the Biblical story and ask them to come up with one way that they could reveal the hope of God the their playmates.
- Is there a special celebration you could plan? If you live in the Northern hemisphere start planning your spring garden with friends or kids. If you are in the Southern hemisphere start planning a harvest celebration.
What are your expectations for the season of Epiphany?
by Joy Lenton
A new year slowly unfurls like a road stretching before us, and we may hesitate about which route to take as traffic snakes forward.
It will help bring greater clarity if we decide on our faith focus for the journey ahead.
What if we saw life more from God’s perspective?
Because perspective and motivation determine our deeds and drive our behaviour.
Actions arise out of our thoughts and feelings, habits and desires.
It can be hard to change unless we allow Holy Spirit to alter the way we think and shape who we are in the process of becoming.
The root of all renewal is a matter of a changed heart and mind.
Much inner angst and anxiety stems from faulty thinking about God, ourselves and others.
In learning to live freely and being captive only to Christ, we need to turn away from flawed patterns of thinking and turn instead toward a biblical perspective.
Such thoughts shaped the poem below…
Perspective
The world defines beauty by virtue of lines of perfection in looks, dress,
face and form, and every part coming together as grace and art,
whereas I see beyond outward appearance to the depths of your being, where I am living and dwelling, where spiritual fruit is growing, developing in a receptive heart
The world assesses knowledge by education, learning, dedication, college attendance,
whereas I look for thirst, desire to learn, coupled with meekness, surrender and obedience
You don’t need certificate, diploma or degree, but you do need perseverance,
application to My word and turning attention continually to Me
The world looks for wisdom in accumulating facts, possessing
sage advice and being seen as all-knowing in other’s eyes
I see wisdom as gift for those with eager, seeking hearts who ask, believe
and receive it from me, and make it a priority to be diligent in
this task, humbling themselves to be wise only in My eyes
The world assumes that satisfaction is found in every want being met,
desires and goals achieved, plans fulfilled, and life going swimmingly
Look beyond the temporary and temporal and see how true, deep, lasting
satisfaction is found only in personal relationship with Me
The world uses love as currency, bartering, giving and withholding, conditional,
dependent on feelings sustained, a measure of acceptability, validity
I bring you Love in all its amazing diversity as pure, unconditional, undeserved
offering, unmerited yet freely given treasure beyond anything you know or see
There is a world that’s constrained or open, a gift to reject or receive
for your soul’s sake – depending on which perspective you take
©JoyLenton2016
Loving heavenly Father,
We give You thanks for this new year and the opportunities it presents.
Grant us wisdom to live each day mindfully, carefully and prayerfully in the light of eternity.
Help us to focus on faith rather than fear, to seek freedom from old destructive ways and embrace positive change.
Equip us to be bearers and sharers of Your compassion, mercy and love.
May we receive daily grace as fuel for the journey and ingest Your word as manna to give out to others.
Let us live life like a prayer, listening attentively to holy whispers, being open, receptive and aware.
Primarily, over all these things, we offer our hearts and minds to You as we seek to see life from Your perspective, knowing that in doing so we will discover we are well equipped for all that lies ahead.
Amen
We are poised for an interesting New Year. Many important issues are being discussed in a wide variety of places. One of the hubs for discussion, for many, is Facebook.
What do Jesus, John Gottman and Explosives Have to do With Facebook?
Facebook has great potential to bring a wide variety of viewpoints to the same place. However, I think we may be shooting ourselves in the foot with our approach to online conversation.
On Facebook, many of us are waging a war of ideas that are pushing relationships farther and farther apart. We do this by looking for targets online in the form of ideas we disagree with; then, we throw our biggest argument bomb from a safe distance, wait for the dust to clear and shoot anything that still moves. Ah, the sweet smell of factual superiority.
Can anyone relate?
To be sure, the issues in question are real and important. The presidential race, racial conflict, systemic oppression, immigration, individual rights, religious tension, etc. They all matter. The problem is, we may not have anyone left around us after we have all made our points. I am guilty of this, and I want to seek an alternative approach, an approach that allows us to remain in relationship amidst the conflict. I believe the accounts of Jesus’ life from the Bible and research from John Gottman offer a healing alternative to the online arms race.
A Different Way to Engage: Jesus’ Life
The societal, political and religious climate during the time of Jesus’ life was violent and polemic – clearly paralleled in our time. The “Peace of Rome” came with a loss of local identity and plenty of violence in its imposition. Religious leadership battled over ideas. Marginalized people groups were forgotten. Society was built around stratified, patriarchal leaders with significant disparity between the haves and have-nots.
Sound familiar?
Into this world, a new leader was born. Jesus’ life offered an alternative to the “might makes right” approach. The circumstances of his birth alone reflect the disparity between Jesus and political leaders in his day. While they were birthed in nobility, he was birthed in humility. While the “right people” showed up for leaders’ heralded births, foreigners and the lower class welcomed Jesus, surrounding him in a trough where animals ate. At the end of his life, he would be executed for his claim to religious and political leadership – a claim he backed not with a sword, but with service, love and affection. With humble beginnings, Jesus lead a life often characterized by disarming weaponized relationships. In the end, he preferred to maintain relational availability rather than enforce his ideology through violence.
Current Research: Gottman’s 5:1 Ratio
John Gottman, renowned relational researcher, studies what keeps us in relationships. He has found in his research that there is a “magic” ratioof positive interactions to negative interactions of 5:1 in healthy, stable relationships. With it, he can predict divorce with surprising accuracy. It is noteworthy that he does not exclude the need for conflict in his ratio; in fact, conflict is important for growth.
What Gottman points out is that there is an amount of positive investment necessary for a relationship to weather the storms of conflict. When there is enough positive investment to handle the conflict, he calls this “Positive Sentiment Override.” My unscientific assessment of the Facebook world is that we need to, collectively and individually, move our ratio towards the positive if we want to stay in relationship.
A Tool for the New Year
So, in light of polarizing Facebook conversations, I am going to try to post with Gottman’s research in mind. Five posts that invest in care, love, humor, generosity, forgiveness, etc. for every one critique. Honestly, I do not know exactly how that looks yet. I will start by taping this to the edge of my computer screen…
Taking my cue from Jesus’ life, I want to prioritize maintaining connection over winning arguments. I think the 5:1 concept may help me.
What Ideas for Improving Online Relationships Do You Have?
Tomorrow evening we will celebrate the Eve of Epiphany, the last feast of Christmas. This celebration commemorates the arrival of the Magi, the wise men from the East who brought gifts to the infant Jesus. We have watched and waited through Advent, we have rejoiced through Christmas at our Saviour’s birth and now we are asked to follow, to recognize the revelation of Christ in our midst and journey into the new life he offers us. We like the Magi, are encouraged to come and see, come and follow, go and tell others.
I wonder at their improbable presence in the Christmas story, at their capacity to recognize the divine lying in the gloom of poverty.
But where are the Jewish sages to join them around my tiny creche? Where are the religious leaders who longed for the Messiah? They were invited. The star led the magi to Jerusalem. News of Israel’s Saviour reached the holy land on the lips of foreigners. The priests were able to name the place of the Messiah’s birth from prophecy and pointed the pagans in the right direction. But why – why – did none follow? (From Invitation to Epiphany: Tabitha Plueddemann Mosaic Bible)
What is your response?
Think about the implications of the Christmas story for your life over this next year. How has your journey towards Christ and the light of his presence changed you this Christmas season? Are you still in Jerusalem with the religious leaders, unwilling to follow a saviour who wants to turn our lives and our world upside down? Or have you joined the Magi and journeyed onwards to Bethlehem and beyond?
Will we journey onwards?
Every Christmas we meet with Christ in a new way, a way that should mean death to our old selves and new birth into the eternal life of God. Epiphany is an invitation to follow the Christ that we have encountered in new ways over the Christmas season and beginning a new journey.
For the magi their journey towards the Christmas star was life changing. They could no longer go back to their old gods. They could no longer walk the old paths or be satisfied with the old life. They had met the Messiah and recognized him as light to the world not just as God’s glory revealed to Israel. They had seen him as God’s redeemer to foreigners as well as to the Jews. And as a result they did not go back to the religious leaders of jerusalem after their revelation – they went home by a different way.
What is your response?
Listen to the song below and spend some time reflecting on your own journey beyond Bethlehem. What new journeys are we embarking in that show we have been touched by God’s light? How can we better follow him into a new journey that leads us and others towards God’s eternal light?
Lynne Baab at age four, watercolor by Dave Baab
by Lynne Baab
What do I need to remember as I enter 2016? What do I need to embrace for a fresh start in a new year? Here are two foundational ideas or postures that I’m hoping will shape 2016 for me. “Posture” implies a way of standing, and I hope I can stand firm in these two truths.
- I am beloved. Henri Nouwen talks about being beloved more vividly than anyone else I’ve read. In his wonderful book, The Life of the Beloved, he writes:
“Becoming the Beloved means letting the truth of our Belovedness become enfleshed in everything we think, say, or do. . . . What is required is to become the Beloved in the commonplaces of my daily existence and, bit by bit, to close the gap that exists between what I know myself to be and the countless specific realities of everyday life. Becoming the Beloved is pulling the truth revealed to me from above into the ordinariness of what I am, in fact, thinking of, talking about, and doing from hour to hour” (pages 45 and 46).
I love that he discusses the “gap that exists between what I know myself to be” as God’s beloved and “the countless specific realities of everyday life.” God’s love is described so vividly in the Bible, and it pours into my life in so many ways, yet so often I don’t feel it or dwell in it. It’s so easy to feel self-critical. The task, according to Nouwen, is to pull “the truth revealed to me from above into the ordinariness” of daily life.
This is not necessarily easy, and I’m so glad he affirms the challenge. In the middle of the quotation above, he writes that this “entails a long and painful process of appropriation or, better, incarnation.” In 2016 I want to grow in beginning each day from a place of belovedness that flows into daily life. I want to see belovedness incarnated in my life more and more each day. I am God’s beloved child and I want to live that way.
- I am sent. My second foundational attitude or posture for 2016 comes from the benediction Pastor Doug Kelly says most Sundays at Seattle’s Bethany Presbyterian Church: “You go nowhere by accident. Everywhere you go, God has a purpose for your being there.”
Our word “mission” comes from the Latin “missio,” which means sent. In his prayer for all believers, Jesus says, “As the Father sent me into the world, so I send you into the world” (John 17:18). We have been sent into the world as Jesus was sent, so it’s true that we go nowhere by accident. God has a purpose for us wherever we go, even in the moments when that purpose seems quite small or insignificant.
What is that purpose? Here are some of the ways I would describe it:
To be faithful to God’s call each day.
To show God’s love to the people around me as much as possible.
To be God’s agent of reconciliation in as many settings as possible.
To abide in Christ so that I can bear the lasting fruit God wants me to bear.
I want to go into 2016 knowing I am beloved and knowing I have been sent to exactly the place where I am. I want to follow God’s guidance and fulfill God’s purposes as much as I can, resting in the fact that I am God’s beloved child.
For each of you, as you enter 2016, here are some questions to reflect on:
- In what settings do you know deep inside that you are God’s beloved? Make plans to go to those places often in 2016.
- What are the biggest obstacles to knowing you are beloved? With whom could you talk and pray about those obstacles?
- If someone asked you, “what is your purpose in Christ,” how would you answer?
- What are the biggest obstacles you experience to knowing you go nowhere by accident? With whom could you talk and pray about those obstacles?
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