If we take time to listen, we’ll find wisdom, wonder and poetry in the lives and stories of the people all around us…. we all want to know our lives have mattered and we won’t ever be forgotten…. listening is an act of love. Dave Islay Listening is an Act of Love.
This week as part of my reading discipline on listening I have delved into Dave Islay’s book Listening Is an Act of Love, in which he recounts some of the stories gathered through the Storycorps project, in which people across America were given the opportunity to share the stories of their lives.
As I read the book and watched the video below, I started to wonder: Where do I hear the stories of ordinary people in everyday life? As I sat and thought about this I realized it is mainly through Facebook. The sharing of joys and heartache, of family photos and garden beauty, the ask for prayers of healing, strength for the day, sustenance in the grief of death all speak of longing to have our stories acknowledged by others. We all want to know that our stories matter to others and to God.
The question is: how many of us truly listen. To be honest sometimes I am a little overwhelmed by what I read and I need to listen selectively, but I also want my friends to know that their lives do matter and I care about their stories.
Paying Attention to My Special Facebook Friend Niki.
One of the most beautiful and poignant stories I have followed on Facebook is that of the life and death of my friend Niki Foster Hibbert. When Niki was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in September 2014 she started a Facebook group Seasons of Grace, with the intention of posting 1,000 daily moments of her story and the grace of God in the midst of it.Niki and her family came to Seattle in April last year on a memory creating trip to Disneyland, as well as to visit many of her far flung Mercy Ship family. I relish that visit and the wonderful memories I will always have of Niki from it.
Sadly Niki only managed 556 of her hoped for 1,000 posts. On March 27th 2016 she breathed her last and went to be with the Lord. In her 555th post she said:
Sometimes God asks us to do hard things, things we get to mull on and ponder over and pray about. Sometimes hard things are just given to us, laid on our laps almost. No rhyme or reason, no instruction manual with 15 steps to follow, no emergency landing strip lighting the way and telling us where to go.
At times like this we often come to a cross-road in our life … And even more so, in our faith, a faith that was typified by being rock solid has had a wee shake, and with the shake come questions – unanswerable questions “Why?” Is there ever really an answer to that? I understand why people ask those questions, and sometimes I want to ask and sometimes I just don’t want to know what the answer is.
I guess for me the journey has always been about having enough grace for each day. I think it’s a little like God when he sent manna daily from heaven to feed Moses and the Israelites (Ex 16). It was a provision for that day only (apart from the day before the Sabbath when they had to gather enough for the Sabbath as well). This provision sustained and nourished them. It must have also confirmed to the Israelites that God remembered them, how could he forget! His eye was still upon them.
I think God’s grace is like that too. It is there for me, all I have to do is expect the provision from God and go get it. This journey is mine alone, and God’s grace is for me. There are lots of family and friends walking, kneeling, alongside me, but their journey is different, the grace that they need is different … they are not me. They need to draw on their own grace for each moment of each day, and I need my own portion too. Daily. Fresh grace every day, fresh manna every day. And the only one who can do that for us is our precious Heavenly Father. With outstretched arms he draws us to himself and tops our diminishing grace-tanks up, allowing us to refresh and restore, and then sending us on our way again, always keeping an eye on us.
Listening to a Legacy
When Niki died I thought I was done with listening to and learning from Niki’s life and to be honest I stopped reading Seasons of Grace. Then a couple of weeks ago I noticed her husband and daughter were posting. Post 601 had me weeping:
Today we were having a tidy up and I found a journal of mum’s. Like a lot of her journals we’ve found there was only one entry, 😉 but I was totally shocked at what was written in it. Mum’s death has been pretty hard for me to process because it all happened so quickly. She deteriorated so fast in her last few days that I never had an opportunity to ask any questions I wanted to before she could no longer communicate with us. I know that mum loved me but I have always wished that I could have asked her what she loved about me and what she thought of me, her daughter. In this journal entry mum talked about the unique love that she has for each member of our family and the things that she loves about us and bring joy to her. Even though mum didn’t necessarily intend for us to read what she wrote, reading what she had to say healed a part of me that I thought might forever be a mystery. Almost as if she’d written her last words down for us without realising. Man now I’m all emotional! The part that stood out to me the most though was her first sentence, “Lord, however many days you give me… I am grateful.”
In some ways Niki and her daughter Alicia are ordinary people. In other ways they are quite extraordinary and I am very grateful that Facebook has made it possible for me to share a part of their life stories.
What is Your Response?
As you read this reflection are there names that come to mind of Facebook friends or others whose stories you should listen more deeply to? Are there people you need to pay more attention to?
You might like to take time to watch the video below and reflect on the life stories that are share here too.
This is our 25th year joining with you at our annual Celtic Prayer Retreat.
To help celebrate, we’ve added a Friday evening program, Introduction to Celtic Spirituality followed by a music jam. We’ve also added three Saturday afternoon workshop options. All this, along with updated prayer trails and a full morning of worship before departing on Sunday! It’s going to be amazing!
Find out more HERE, or click HERE to go directly to tickets!
Help sponsor our retreat!
We have many levels of sponsorship all with different perks – find out more about sponsoring the retreat.
Individuals can sponsor through the link above, or donate in $25 blocks HERE
Help Spread the News!
Can you help us spread the news?
By Fran Pratt
God, we thank You for turning the earth toward the Sun .
We thank You for summer.
As the days and the light are long,
So is the Love of God:
Endless
Fruitful
Full of possibility
Bursting with energy.
As growing things are awake and progressing,
So may we become awake
To Your light and to Your love
Making progress
Seizing opportunities to grow
Readying for harvest.
As our plot on the planet faces the sun, our star,
So do we turn ourselves toward the Son
Following the Way of Christ,
Following the Way of Love,
Growing to maturity,
Spreading seeds of Good News to all.
Amen
By Andy Wade –
What does it mean to listen, to really listen so that you hear and understand? And what are the many ways we can learn to listen? This month’s Author-of-the-Month, Keith Anderson, explores this idea in his newest book, A Spirituality of Listening: Living What We Hear.
Several years ago while living in Hong Kong I began exploring our modern idea of spiritual retreat, taking time to reflect and to listen deeply to God. It dawned on me that we almost always take these retreats out of our regular surroundings, often in times a remote setting, a kind of going into the wilderness. I understand why this is so inviting. It seems I listen best when I’m away from routine.
I really enjoy “wilderness” retreats, yet several things about this bothered me:
- It’s a luxury many don’t have.
- While it takes us out of our normal element so we can better focus, it doesn’t teach us how to become spiritually balanced and to listen more deeply within our everyday context.
- Going into the wilderness in the Bible, and as seen by the early monks and nuns, was not a retreat but going out to do battle with the devil, often on behalf of the church.
- It can become a form of escapism where we leave behind our issues in order to be “spiritual” for a time, reinforcing a kind of sacred/secular dualism all too common in the church today.
What would it mean, I wondered, to retreat – to learn to listen – in the city?
As a small-town boy Transplanted to a city of seven million, I was often overwhelmed by all the noise, both auditory and visual. This constant assault on my senses dulled my ability to listen. Walking into one of Hong Kong’s many five-story malls, my eyes would kind of glaze over and my ears would go into hibernation. I’d simply go about my business on auto-pilot. I struggled to find a space where I could listen, really hear, in the city where all the stimuli overwhelmed my senses.
What I began to discover, and am still learning, is that there are many ways to listen deeply. I wish I’d had Anderson’s book back in the late 90’s when I began this exploration of retreat and listening. For much of my journey I have limited listening to a very narrow definition. Sure, I had different tools for listening, like journaling, Lectio Divina, and the practice of Examine, but I really hadn’t thought of listening with such broad parameters as outlined in this book.
Since this really isn’t a review of Anderson’s book I won’t outline the various forms of listening he explores. But I do want to mention a key aspect of listening that I’ve learned is essential to making room for listening in the city, and which Anderson also explores. Silence.
I think one of the real attractions of retreat away from home is the possibility of real, physical silence. But like listening, silence actually has many forms. There is physical silence, an ambient quietness of sound and activity. This kind of silence often requires us to leave our normal environment. Another critical form of silence is an inner silence, which we can cultivate. We can learn to find this silence even when chaos swirls around us, assaulting our senses. For some, their individual spiritual and emotional temperaments may naturally cultivate this ability, while for others it may seem a near impossibility.
I had a roommate in college with a heightened sense of inner silence. For him it took the form of being able to shut out everything around him and focus only on the task in front of him. It didn’t seem to matter what I did when he was in this zone; he had no idea what was going on around him. I had to physically put my hands on him and shake him to get his attention. This kind of inner silence can be hugely beneficial when we’re unable to escape our surroundings but want to focus on God as we listen for God’s still, small voice speaking deeply within.
There is another kind of inner silence which comes to many of us only with struggle; Shutting off our inner voices, those boundless inner conversations, arguments, self-justifications and random thoughts. This is where a short, repeated prayer like, “Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner” can help to clear our minds. I keep a notebook nearby so I can jot down these random thoughts and set them aside. If I jot them down so I know I will remember them later, I’m able to let them go for a while.
There is an inescapable connection between silence and listening well. Silence allows us to focus. Whether that focus is on a conversation (including prayer), God’s creation, or reflecting on scripture, silence enhances our ability to truly hear. I would go so far as to say that, until we learn to cultivate inner silence, our ability to listen well will be severely limited.
Reflecting on these aspects of listening:
- What is your experience of listening?
- How do you listen best to God?
- Where do you find it most challenging to listen?
This last question might be the source of a personal challenge for you for this week or month.
How might you be more intentional about listening in those situations where listening is most difficult for you?
Keep a journal and write down:
- What are be some specific reasons listening in this context is difficult for me?
- Some possibilities might be noise, distractions, a broken relationship, contrasting views, painful memories…
- What are two to three steps you can take today to practice listening more intentionally in these contexts?
- Maybe it means working on reconciliation with someone. Or perhaps seeking therapy for a deep brokeness that gets in the way of hearing from certain (types of) people. Or maybe, like me, you need to work harder at focusing on the person(s) in front of you while ignoring all the interesting things happening around you.
In the video below, Julian Treasure outlines five concrete steps to help us listen better. Reflecting on this video I realized that our imaginations and creativity are also often ravaged by the constant onslaught of noise in our lives. Implementing the five steps outlined by Treasure can begin to address both the spiritual and creative numbing that happens when we’re constantly surrounded by noise.
[themify_video src=”https://youtu.be/cSohjlYQI2A” width=”600″ ]
A Review – Christine Sine
The Spirituality of Listening by Keith Anderson is one of the best books on listening as a spiritual discipline that I have read in a long time. God is still active in our world today Keith contends, and God still speaks to us. The problem is that we have forgotten how to listen and need to re-learn this most basic of practice.
Books about listening often start with retreat and withdrawal but Keith starts in the place where we all live – in our everyday lives full of noise, tweets and emails. To the question Is it possible to hear God’s voice today? Keith’s response is a resounding yes. God can be heard in every aspect of life.
I love the way Keith interweaves theological insights with stories and practical tools for listening. Each chapter ends with a helpful summary and simple exercises that enrich our experience of listening.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who desires a deeper walk with God and a heightened ability to hear the voice of God. Enjoy!
June is a month for listening. That will be our Godspace theme for the next month. How do we listen and what do we listen to? In preparation for this, a couple of months ago we asked our Godspace contributors what their favourite books on listening were. The follow is a list our suggestions – from many different perspectives and understandings. Enjoy and make sure you listen well!
- Anderson, Keith: A Spirituality of Listening: Living What We Hear
- Baab, Lynne: The Power of Listening: Building Skills for Mission and Ministry
- Bill, J. Brent: Holy Silence: The Gift of Quaker Spirituality
- Brenner, Juliet: Contemplative Vision: A Guide to Christian Art and Prayer
- Buechner, Frederick: Listening to Your Life
- de Caussade, Jean-Pierre: The Sacrament of the Present Moment
- Deere, Jack: Surprised by the Voice of God
- Goll, James W.: The Lost Art of Practicing His Presence
- Guenther, Margaret: Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction
- Fr. Gabriel: Divine Intimacy
- Richard Foster: Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home and Sanctuary of the Soul: Journey into Meditative Prayer
- Hart, Thomas: The Art of Christian Listening
- Hipps, Shane: Flickering Pixels
- Huggett, Joyce: The Joy of Listening to God
- Iyer, Pico: Art of Stillness: Adventures in Going Nowhere
- Kelly, Thomas: A Testament of Devotion
- Kidd, Sue Monk: When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life’s Sacred Questions
- Long, Anne: Listening
- Loring, Patricia: Listening Spirituality Vol. I and Vol. II
- Merton, Thomas: Thoughts in Solitude and Contemplative Prayer and Dialogues with Silence.
- Miller, James E.: The Art of Listening in a Healing Way and The Art of Being a Healing Presence
- Nepo, Mark: Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What Is Sacred
- Newell, J. Phillip: Listening for the Heartbeat of God
- Nouwen, Henri: The Way of the Heart: Connecting with God Through Wisdom, Prayer and Silence and Discernment: Reading the Signs of Daily Life
- Palmer, Parker: Let Your Life Speak and A Hidden Wholeness
- Peel, Donald: The Ministry of Listening
- Phillips, Susan: Candlelight: Illuminating The Art of Spiritual Direction and The Cultivated Life
- Rohr, Richard: Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer
- Valters Paintner, Christine: Lectio Divina: the Sacred Art and Illuminating the Way; Embracing the Wisdom of Monks and Mystics
- Virkler, Mark: How to Hear God’s Voice
- Wilson, Rob: How Do I Help a Hurting Friend
For more books on The Art of Discernment, check out this resource list.
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Last week I talked about our need to pay attention to our lives. I reflected on the need to listen deeply and look closely, but as I reflected on that this week I realized there are far more ways to pay attention than looking and listening. There are five senses through which we perceive the world, yet when it comes to paying attention you would sometimes think there are only two.
Taste and see that the Lord is good Psalm 34:8 tells us. How do we taste and savour the flavour of God I wonder? My husband and I both love to cook special meals for friends and family, but tasting those meals is far more than sitting down at table. It’s certainly not a fast food meal. Its a wonderful slow experience.
Anticipation
Any good meal begins with anticipation, and not just of the food, but also of the friends and fellowship and family who will enjoy it with us. We imagine the flavours we want to experience, delighting in them as we savour them in our minds, remembering nostalgically the last time we enjoyed them. We think of the people we want to invite to enjoy the meal with us and even anticipate the wonderful process of preparing the meal.
What does it mean I wonder to anticipate the taste of God? How do we prepare to savour the flavour of God’s presence? I think it probably is little like getting ready for a banquet feast.
Preparation
A lot of work goes into the tasting of a festive meal.
If we are really on top of our game, it begins with planting the vegetables we want to incorporate in it. Brandywine tomatoes for Tom’s famous Bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches, bock choy for Phad Thai, basil for pesto and olive tapenade. We till the soil, plant the seed and diligently water and fertilize them until they are ready to harvest. We pull out the recipe books and check out our favourite internet cooking sites, exploring the dishes that might fulfill our desire for new flavours. We check our cooking utensils making sure we have everything we need, recruit a few good helpers as sou chefs, iron the best tablecloth and serviettes and plan for a festive day. And as the day approaches we gather our ingredients – a trip to the garden, another to the pantry, and a final trip to the farmers’ market and the supermarket.
At the same time we make out our invitation list – friends, family, strangers too. All get invited to a truly festive meal.
Then the cooking begins. With much hilarity and fun, the ingredients are diced, chopped and blended and soon fragrant spices fill the house. They tantalize our taste buds. By the time we put the food on the table, our whole body is ready for the feast.
What does it mean to prepare to taste of the goodness of God? What seeds to do we need to plant months in advance to enjoy the taste to its fulness? What tools do we need to help us prepare? Who do we invite to experience it with us?
Tasting the Goodness of God
A festive meal is a wonderful, joyful experience at which we truly taste of the goodness of God. We admire the table decorations and enter into the laughter and enlivening conversations. We pile our plates with wonderful food and fill our glasses with the best of wine. We sit down with our guests and relish all that is set before us.
Tasting a good meal is not just an experience for our taste buds. It is an experience that stirs all our senses and invites us into a community of fellowship and rich enjoyment. It is an experience that stays with us long after we walk out the door and return home. It will be evoked next time we catch a whiff of the same aromas that greeted us as we walked through the door.
We can experience the banquet feast of God and taste of the goodness of God every time we enter the presence of God fully prepared to savour all that God offers us. What are your favourite flavours? What are the festive celebrations that give you a taste of the goodness of God?
Watch this short excerpt from Babette’s Feast, (or the entire movie if you have time) one of the most beautiful depictions of the preparation and tasting of a festive meal. What would you be willing to do to prepare a feast of finest wine and richest food in order to truly experience the goodness of God.
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