By Hilary Horn —
One of my all time favorite things to do is to have people gathered around our table. Preparing big batches of food, prized even more if most of its from our garden, glasses of wine and cheerful friends – bring a deep sense of joy and gratitude to my heart. I love feeding people. I love laughter and community. Each week we intentionally have at least three to five meals with people – friends, family or strangers we just met. Partially because we are pastors and that’s our thing, but even more so because it’s the way I see Jesus interacting with people the most too – around a meal.
I love this quote from Tim Chester, taken from his book A Meal With Jesus. He says, “People often complain that they lack time for mission. But we all have to eat. Three meals a day, seven days a week. That’s twenty one opportunities for mission and community without adding anything to your schedule.”
Sometimes we make mission too complicated or negate mission out of our lives completely. Saving it for the missionary or pastor we know. But we cannot separate our faith from mission. For me, hospitality has grown into such a rich way to do mission. Hospitality brings out things in people you can’t just see over a cup of coffee or a a third space. When you invite people in your home, giving them a taste of your life and culture, it unlocks a deeper sense of being known. Conversations and your connections are deeper. Mission becomes easier because it’s natural. People know you love them and conversations about God flow because that is the rhythm of your life.
I realize this can be scary for many. Your house may not be up to par the way you want it, you may not be the best cook or you’re afraid of what people may think of you. Maybe because I grew up with huge family gatherings, this type of thing doesn’t stress me out. I learned from a small age what it means to cook for 5-30 people in a pinch and put on welcoming ambiances from some of the pro’s (my mom, grandma and aunts). But I realize that isn’t the case for everyone. It can seem like a huge task. But remember, we all have to eat. Somehow you get it done.
One of the biggest things I have learned though is that you don’t need to be perfect. Boxed frozen pizza and cheap beer or tap water can do the trick. Messy houses and imperfect lives are okay. We live in a “Pinterest perfect” generation which can often lead to lots of unhealthy expectations that cripple us in the process of hospitality. I have found that most people don’t even care about perfect place settings, prestige houses and themed events. What they do care about is being known, heard, welcomed and loved. You throw food in the mix and it’s even better.
My challenge to you this week is to invite some people over to dinner. Just start with one meal. Don’t stress out about it. Make something simple or even order take out. If your house is a mess, don’t clean it. Seriously. No one comes with inspection gloves to see that layer of dust on your shelf or care if your toddler just rampaged through the house. Spend more energy in thinking about thoughtful questions to ask your guests to truly deepen relationship. Hospitality is a process, but it doesn’t have to be a complicated one. All you need is a simple invitation over and the rest will figure itself out.
by Christine Sine
Tom and I are now in Prague, after a wonderful river cruise up the Rhine and down the Danube from Amsterdam to Budapest. This has been an amazing blessing for us as we celebrate our 25th anniversary. As the program director on board our ship said – our cruise could have been featured on the brochures. The weather was almost perfect the whole way and we are leaving with many incredible impressions and new friends.
St Kilian
So many have provided hospitality for us along the way, but as I reflect on our experiences I am currently most aware of those who have gone before us and made possible all that we are doing. They too are our hosts as we travel and we are guests of their welcoming presence. We so rarely recognize them and yet their lives and sacrifices have given all of us the luxuries that we so take for granted – luxuries of clean waterways, electricity, toilets, running water, good and abundant food.
I think of the Celtic monks whom we first met in Iona off the west coast of Scotland. In Würzburg, Germany we met them again as we encountered Kilian and his companions Kolonat and Totnan who evangelized this part of central Europe, possibly having travelled from Iona. They were martyred around 689 but their lives still impact this part of the world. The day after our visit was St Kilian’s feast day, still celebrated in Würzburg with joy. For many Germans, Kilian is a family name, including our good friend Hans Greulich whom we were able to get together with in Passau. His grandfather is called Kilian.
Castle along the Rhine
As we passed, and then visited some of the castles along the river I thought too of those who endured much hardship throughout the centuries to give us the freedoms we have today. They cultivated crops in harsh environments, they endured epidemics and fought their foes. They lived in ways that we would never endure today. I thought too of those who lost their lives in wars. So many of the towns we stopped at were 90% destroyed during WW II. Reduced to piles of rubble like we are seeing now in Mosul. Amazingly, many of them have been rebuilt not in modern style but as they were before.
I think too of those who designed the magnificent buildings we visited, crafted the mighty organ we listened to in Passau Germany and composed the music we relished in Vienna Austria. Their creativity is a gift of hospitality to us.
I remember too my parents whose frugality provided us with the resources that we have been able to spend on this trip. They too are our hosts. I have particularly felt my mother’s welcoming presence beside me as we travelled. I am her guest here on this trip just as much as I was when I stayed in her house in Australia.
What is your response?
We are blessed people who rarely stop to acknowledge our blessings. Take some time to stop and reflect today on those who have gone before you, gifting you through their labours with life, and freedom and comfort. If possible get out photos of people and places you want to thank God for.
- Remember your parents and your ancestors and the struggles they went through to make your comfortable lifestyle possible. Offer a prayer of thanksgiving to God for them.
- Remember those who pioneered your country or the area in which you live. Thank them for their sacrifices and the ways their lives have provided hospitality for you. Offer a prayer of thanks to God.
- Remember those who sacrificed their lives in wars to give you freedom. Thank them for the gift of life which you enjoy because of their sacrifice.
This past week at thinplaceNASHVILLE, our house church gathering we host on Sunday nights, we looked at Matthew 22:34-40 which includes loving your neighbor as yourself, especially looking at the concept of WELCOME.
And in practical terms, we are learning how to welcome and integrate kids of all ages into our gatherings on Sunday nights. Usually we have a half an hour of silence to sit with the gospel passage, journal from the passage, or create art from the passage. We knew in advance that we would have more than our usual two children on Sunday night so we decided to host a thinplace sing-a-long as a part of our gathering so everyone could participate and feel included. And since this is Music City, we are blessed with talented music people who will bring along their guitars and drums and even share rhythm instruments for all of us who don’t play something officially. Our gathering Sunday night included several guests and we ran the gamut from 6 years old to almost 60 years of age.
After a baked potato bar dinner and ice cream for dessert, we gathered in the living room and opened with our candle lighting prayer for God to fill us with God’s hope, peace, joy and love and make us aware of God’s Light. Then we prayed a psalm out loud together.
Then we listened to the gospel lesson read in three versions. Since we had so many kids present, we let a an eleven year old read our lesson from the Whirl Kids Story Bible to start us off. Then we heard the same passage read from The Message and from the NIV version. Three versions and three voices. Listening for the word or phrase that jumped out at us. Since this passage is on the two greatest commandments, LOVE GOD and LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR we talked about starting to love our neighbors by getting to know the people who live next door to us. Starting with those who are closest to us first. We talked about welcome and hospitality.
Who are our neighbors? Do we know them? How can we serve them and practice hospitality and welcome?
I talked about the Pineapple being a long-time symbol of welcome and hospitality. When sea captains returned from their trips to the Caribbean they would put a pineapple on their fence post as a symbol that they were home and it was invitation to come over, grab a pint and hear the stories about his adventures and travels. The Pineapple was also so valuable in the days before refrigeration, that a single pineapple would be rented out by hostesses who wanted to show how much his or her guests were valued. If a whole Pineapple was on the table, you knew that the host had spared no expense. Sadly, only the very wealthy could afford to actually eat the pineapple, not just use it as a decoration.
I passed out pieces of paper that had a printed welcome mat and a picture of a pineapple drawn on them and had everyone consider who in their lives needed to feel the welcome of God and know God’s love? They picked a person to pray for that week. And I encouraged them when they saw a welcome mat out and about in the days and weeks to come, to use that as a reminder to pray for this person or persons.
The Pineapple outline symbolized one tangible thing each of us could do for a neighbor this week to show God’s love to them.
After our singing time, as a closing response to our theme of Welcome, I passed around squares of fresh pineapple to eat and continue our WELCOME theme. We then prayed our closing prayer together and kids went out to blow bubbles and the adults continued to play music and sing.
You can do this with your own community or small group or even around your dining table with your family or roommates
- Have a real welcome mat on the floor as a visual.
- Print out small welcome mats and pineapple outlines. There are even pineapple post it notes that you can find at Office Depot,
- Buy a fresh Pineapple and or pre-cut fresh pineapple or even canned chunks to use as the taste symbol of WELCOME as the closing.
- Have group members write down the person’s name on their printed welcome mat and write down their practical response of welcome and hospitality on the pineapple.
- Pick a person to pray for this week who needs to know they are loved and welcomed by God. Use the Welcome Mats you see in the coming days as reminders to pray for this person or people. Also, you can use the Welcome Mats you see to remind you to practice welcome and hospitality to everyone you meet!
- What tangible thing can you do for your neighbor this week to show God’s love them?
Photo captured on a sunset-hunting expedition with an artistic visitor.
A wonderful post on hospitality from Amy Boucher Pye from 2014–
Sometimes, hospitality hurts. We extend ourselves and welcome people into our homes, anticipating times of engaging conversation and laughter. But afterwards, we find ourselves drained in body, mind, and spirit. We become tempted to pull up the drawbridge and keep our castle to ourselves for a time.
Our family has just come through a time of intense hospitality. Each weekend through the spring and summer, we hosted various groups of friends and family. As we’ve been gifted with the use of a large and wonderful vicarage, we’ve always had the policy of saying “yes” when people want to stay. So this spring we said yes, and yes. And yes and yes and yes some more. Until we weren’t sure how we would cope. In fact, Nicholas and I had just agreed that we’d not have anymore visitors when I opened up a social-networking site and glimpsed a request from one of my favorite people – someone I hadn’t seen in years. How could we pass up the opportunity of hosting them? “The speech bubble is still over my head,” I thought, musing over the decision my husband and I had agreed. “I hope he sees the irony…”
Don’t get me wrong, we loved having people to stay; what we struggled with was the timing of the many visits. Mainly: Why did they bunch themselves up together in an unrelenting cluster?
We were given an out at the end of the summer, and though hesitant, I took it. The friends who were to arrive just days after the kids and I dragged our jetlagged bodies home from two weeks in the States got in touch to say that the family they were visiting were all struck with the flu. The violent vomiting and diarrhea kind. Our friends had been exposed, so they said they’d understand if we wanted them to find an alternative place to stay.
Normally I would shrug off fears of sickness, but knowing how tired we were, and not being able to face tidying up the house again while so foggy in mind and body, and contemplating packing up my son for his camp the day they’d arrive, and with the thought of body fluids being expelled so unpleasantly, I accepted their offer not to stay. Yes, I felt guilty. And yes, I labored over the decision. But it was right to say no; thankfully they were able to extend their stay where they were, avoiding a huge hotel bill.
Sparklers and panache.
I’m learning we don’t always have to say yes.
But the joys of serving and welcoming weary visitors outweighs the challenges. Reflecting on our summer of hospitality, I’ve jotted down a few things to celebrate.
Serving shapes our character. I’m selfish. I like doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. But hosting guests gives us an opportunity to put the needs of others before ourselves. We seek to make them comfortable; we give them the big piece of pie; we seek to make stimulating conversation. We’re reminded that it’s not all about us.
We receive, even when we give. Providing hospitality isn’t something we do to gain in return, but without fail, we will receive from our guests. The gift might be intangible: a particular insight about a problem we face; the love expressed in ways individual to them; affirming words; acts of service (is a night of babysitting tangible or intangible?). Or they might give us things: items from our home country that we can’t source locally; a family heirloom; a work of art; a beautiful scarf.
Children learn by watching. Nicholas and I hope that our modeling of welcome will rub off on our kids. CutiePyeGirl is positively energized by the prospect of guests, asking what they are like when she hears they are coming and counting down the days if we’re welcoming someone really special, like grandparents. PyelotBoy, being an introvert, is more reticent, but when the guests arrive he realizes that it’s pretty great to chat and talk and get to know them – especially if they like sport.
Memories last forever. When I think back over the season of hospitality, what stand out are the memories. Like singing the Star Spangled Banner on the Fourth of July with sparklers. Drinking Pimms and watching ArtistMan create a painting within minutes while laughing with his wife. The glories of a British BBQ without rain. Walks and talks and catching up on life and love and hopes and dreams and fears.
Have you ever hosted until you hurt? How did you respond afterwards? What joys and challenges do you find with hospitality?
Amy Boucher Pye is a writer and editor, and a transplanted Yank living in the UK. She and her PyeFamily live in North London. She blogs at www.amyboucherpye.com and tweets at @AmyBoucherPye.
One of our staple breakfast foods is granola and I don’t mean the store bought kind which is both expensive and, at least from my perspective, too sweet. I have made granola for many years and find that it is a wonderful gift to overnight guests. Over the years, I have reduced the fat, and substituted applesauce for much of the oil. I now add a variety of grains and generally made the granola more healthy. Served with yoghurt and fresh fruit it makes an ideal and, for many, a very special breakfast.
A friend asked me for my recipe a couple of days ago, so I thought it was time to post it here too. I posted my original recipe some years ago but have recently updated it, because Tom has a passion for almond flavour so this one has almond essence in it. We love nuts and fruit so it is heavy on both but you can cut back if you want to. It costs a fraction of the store bought granolas and is much more nutritious than most.
Another great batch of granola
Ingredients
10 cups Rolled Oats
2 cups Wheat Flakes
2 cups Barley Flakes
2 cups Wheatgerm
3 cups Wheat Bran
1 cup Flax Meal
2 cups Oat Bran
1 cup Pecans, chopped
1 cup Cranberries
1 cup Dried Tart Cherries
1 cup Pumpkin Seeds
1 cup Almonds, chopped
1 cup Apple Sauce
1 cup Honey
1 cup Canola or Sunflower Oil
2 oz Almond Extract (optional)
1 cup Dried Apples, chopped
1 cup Sunflower Seeds, raw
Method
1. Mix all dry ingredients in a large bowl.
2. Add applesauce, honey, oil and almond extract. Mix in food processor until well blended.
3. Add liquids to dry ingredients and mix (I do it with my hands) separating any lumps in mixture.
4. Cook at 350℉ turning every 15 minutes until brown. Be sure to stir all the way to the bottom of the pan or it will burn
6. Leave in oven overnight to cool and dry out.
7. In the morning, add dried fruit, mix thoroughly and transfer to storage jars.
8. This quantity lasts us for about 3 months. As long as it is in airtight containers it remains fresh.
Homemade granola
Have you ever thought of foreign language learning as a form of hospitality? I know I hadn’t until a friend I visited in Portland last week gave me The Gift of the Stranger: Faith, Hospitality and Foreign Language Learning by David I Smith and Barbara Carvill. I have added this must read to my Hospitality reading list.
Have you ever thought about foreign language learning as an opportunity to be a blessing to a stranger or to be hospitable to strangers? Have you ever wondered how, through our attitudes to teaching or learning another language, we become hosts or guests to others.
The book is rooted in the argument that the biblical call is to love the stranger. It starts with a study of biblical themes relevant to the discipline of language teaching: imago dei, Babel, Pentecost, the stranger and hospitality. The authors explain that cultural diversity is blessed by God and marred by evil. Here is a short excerpt to whet your appetite:
Jesus, Christ came to redeem all nations, not to abolish their diversity. Accordingly, God promises a day when peoples from all tribes and nations and languages will come together to worship and enjoy a life of shalom, of peace and justice ….. foreign language education, too, is called to play a role in this cosmic story. But it will only do so if it is grounded in and grows out of a biblical vision of reconciliation, for justice and peace among nations. It must be shaped by respect for the other as an image bearer of God; it must be eager to hear the other; and it must be driven by love for God and for one’s neighbour. In the light of these biblical themes, we propose that foreign language education prepare students for two related callings: to be a blessing as strangers in a foreign land, and to be hospitable to strangers in their own homeland.
Students who become strangers in a foreign land are called to be a blessing to the locals by speaking in the locals’ tongue, by listening to their stories and sharing their own, by asking good questions, by comparing and contrasting, by learning from them – in short, by using the special friend and responsibility an educated stranger has in the host country for being a loving presence. Similarly, students also are called to become good hosts to the foreigner or alien in their own land, to receive the stranger graciously, and to practice the kind of hospitality that is a blessing to both the guest and the host. Both callings, we propose, make up the very heart of foreign language learning.
I think that this thoughtful and provocative book is a must read not just for anyone who teaches or is learning another language, but for anyone who works cross culturally. And in our richly multicultural world who of us don’t these days.
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by Christine Sine
I wrote and post this prayer about 4 years ago. Since then I have thought a lot about what it means to rest in God. We talk about it all the time yet it is still hard to do. We get busy, We get distracted. We forget what is really important. Yet everyone seems to know that restful pauses throughout the day are important. Even my fitbit tells me to relax for a couple of minutes every hour and it tells me to get up and walk regularly too. In fact I have learned to take these walking breaks as an opportunity to relax not only my body but my soul and my spirit too. Sometimes I do a breathing exercise. Sometimes I go out into the garden for a few minutes, or I read through a prayer and meditate for a couple of minutes while I walk. There are lots of ways to help us relax. Here are some tips on what I have found helps me to find these restful moments:
- Breathe deeply for a minute. Take a few deep breaths slowly in and out. As you breathe in, be conscious of your breath passing in through your mouth or nose, filling your lungs with life giving oxygen. Hold your breath for ten seconds then slowly breathe out, imagining the tension in your body flowing out as you do so. Recite a breathing prayer and sit or stand quietly for a minute in the presence of God. Do this several times a day and it will improve not only your emotional health but your physical health as well.
- Read a psalm or prayer. Psalm 23 is probably the most popular for this and as you know I have written a number of prayers like these, specifically designed to encourage us to “rest in the moment”
- Notice the beauty of God’s world. Look out the window or go outside for a few minutes and focus on a natural object. It might be a cloud, a flower or an insect. Look at it as if you are seeing it for the first time. Examine the details. Imagine the energy of God flowing into its creation. Think about its purpose in the world. Thank God for its creation. (If you don’t have a window to look out carry a small natural object like a pebble in your pocket)
- Take a moment for purposeful awareness. Pause occasionally in the midst of your daily activity to appreciate what you are doing and what makes it possible. For example sit at the computer and look at your hands and thank God for the dexterity that makes your work possible. Think of your brain and thank God for your intellect which facilitates your exploration and understanding. Look at the words you have written and thank God for language with which to express yourself. Consider setting your phone to provide a reminder.
- Listen attentively. Sit for a moment and listen to the sounds around you. Focus in on one sound you have not paid attention to before. It might be the sound of passing traffic or of people talking in your office (avoid argumentative sounds though). It might be a bird in the backyard or footsteps on the path outside. Get lost in the sound and allow it to take you on a journey. Where does the sound take you? If you are listening to the traffic you may like to think about the journey that people are on. Imagine where they have come from and where they are going. Thank God for their lives. If you are focused on people talking don’t listen to the conversation but to the music of the sounds. Allow it to resonate through your body. Thank God for your ears that can hear.
- Practice gratitude. Pause for a moment as though frozen in time and look around at what you are doing and what makes it possible. What are 3 things you don’t usually notice that you are grateful for? It might be the pens that you write with, or the electricity that powers your computer, or the windows that give you light. Sit in the presence of these things, express your gratitude to God for their creators, and those that maintain them.
- Hold something meaningful. Running our fingers over a loved photograph, a pocket cross, even a pebble or seashell (I have several new ones I picked up on Iona) can help us relax as it stirs our memories of happy or meaningful times.
- Write in your journal. Journalling is relaxing for most of us. Take a couple of minutes 2 or 3 times a day to write a sentence or two in your journal. Or take a longer time before you go to bed to write, put the day to rest and relax yourself.
- Do something relaxing. Activities like coloring, knitting, whittling, working on a jigsaw puzzle, weeding the garden are relaxing for most of us. Choose your favorite creative activity (there are infinite possibilities) and think about how you can incorporate a few minutes of this activity into your daily or weekly routine.
- Reflect at the end of the day. Take a couple of minutes at the end of each day to reflect on what you have done and how it has impacted you and your relationship to God. Two simple questions can really help with this. What gave you joy today? And What quenched your joy? Then ask yourself What could I do to increase my joy? Or use this awareness examen adapted from one developed by Ignatius of Loyola.
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