Now that Thanksgiving is over many of us are looking forward to Christmas and the joy of celebrating Christ’s birth. Its time to focus on what really matters. I hope you can join us for this special retreat. Space is limited so sign up soon.
by Christine Sine
Sue Duby, a colleague of mine on board the mercy ship M/V Anastasis, once told me that she was most content when her heart was smiling with gratitude, as she focused on the moment with a sense of “God-lenses” peering out to what’s around her, aware of God’s presence. She recounted how a student coped with sadness, grief and rough days by noticing the things in her day that made her smile. She called them joy spots. Sue and her husband Chuck began to call out to each other There’s a joy spot when something made them smile too. Eventually this became a daily practice of naming things they were grateful for. She said: The discipline worked a new muscle, but over time, it became a natural part of our day. We found ourselves not only “naming” thankfulness in the morning, but actually looking for things to add to our list all during the day. Our hearts smiled. We grew expectant.
One day as Sue read Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (NIV) Sue decided that every time she prayed for someone or something, she would stop and name something related to her request that she was truly grateful for – before asking God for anything. A sense of peace and calm followed. Now, she says, the prayer often seems secondary, the need less urgent and the sense of God whispering, “I’ve got it covered” more clear.
I love this practice. It was what encouraged me too, to notice, name and journal about my own joy spots of gratitude. There are lots of ways to do this. Here are some suggestions that you might like to try alone or as part of your family spiritual disciplines:
Make a vow to practice gratitude. Gratitude doesn’t just happen, we have to be intentional about it. Writing out a simple vow like I will count three things I am grateful for today is an effective way to make sure we do indeed practice gratitude.
Name your blessings. Have a moment of thanksgiving each day, preferably with your family or roommates, when everyone shares something they’re thankful for. Keep a gratitude jar on your desk and some small slips of paper. When you encounter a joy spot write it on a piece of paper and add it to the jar. At the end of the week take out the slips of paper and read through the joy spots, reminding yourself of all you have to be grateful for.
This daily tradition can help develop a positive frame of mind and is particularly effective if the day has been challenging and negative. To write down three things we are grateful for helps us recognize the good in our lives and results in a quick and significant shift of attitude.
Be grateful towards those you live with. Gratitude towards people is more powerful than gratitude for things. Telling your spouse, kids and/or room mates why you are grateful for them is an invaluable spiritual exercise. When we tell our loved ones what makes them special to us, their self-esteem (and ours too) is boosted for the right reasons (not because they have the latest smartphone or because they’re dressed fashionably). Plus, our example shows them that gratitude extends well beyond material things and it often sparks moments of joy for all of us.
One fun way to express this is to get everyone in your family, home group or friendship circle to write down something they are grateful for. Print them out on small pieces of paper and then bake them in rolls for a special thanksgiving meal. Crescent rolls are ideal for this as the small pieces of paper can be rolled into the crescents. Each person then has to guess who wrote what is written in their roll.
Shower friends and family with joy spots not stuff. Buying yourself or your kids whatever you or they want, whenever you or they want, dilutes the gratitude impulse and often means we don’t learn to value or respect our possessions. We don’t appreciate each purchase and keep setting our sights on what’s shinier and newer. In this context you can even encourage recycling or reusing items. There are lots of fun ways to do this. A fashion show where you tell stories about your favorite clothing items, or swap with a friend is one possibility.
Alternatively a recycling party where everyone brings items they want to see transformed and reused and shares the story of the item and why they want to reuse it is another. This is something I have long wanted to do with the sweaters I have knitted over the years, many of which I cannot bear to throw out because of the joy filled memories they stir. I am so grateful for these items and the memories they evoke. Sharing their stories with friends and families would, I think not only fill my gratitude cup but would also enable me to let go and willingly repurpose them.
Keep thank-you notes on hand. Sadly, sending handwritten thank-you notes seems to be a dying art. But it’s actually a perfect way to encourage us to express gratitude — and as an added bonus, it can make the recipient’s day. As an author I know how much I appreciate notes from readers that tell me what they enjoyed about my books, but these are rare. Teachers, doctors, helpful librarians, waiters in restaurants, family friends and even neighbors whose gardens we admire all appreciate our grateful thanks. There are loads of opportunities throughout the year for all of us to recognize and thank those who have done something special for us, and it’s a habit that if we start it young, will naturally carry through our life.
I hate drive through windows. I like to park my car and go into the bank or coffee shop just so that I have the opportunity to meet my server face to face and say thank you for their service.
Link your gratitude to thankfulness to God. This was something that impressed me about what Sue and Chuck Duby did. They were very aware that the joy spots they identified represented God’s blessings on their lives and the situations they were concerned about. Spirituality and gratitude go hand in hand. Reading through the gratitude psalms or creating a gratitude prayer of your own is one good way to accomplish this.
Each year just before American Thanksgiving I like to sit down and think about what I am grateful for. A prayer of gratitude often wells up within me. Sometimes these prayers remind me of the contrast between the world as it is and world God is bringing into being, and encourage me to respond to the needs I see around me. At other times, my prayers focus on the many blessings in my life that I need to thank God for. I have shared both of these kinds of prayers in the last few days. Revisiting and reciting prayers like this at regular intervals adds to my list of thanksgivings in special ways.
Sometimes I rewrite the prayer in my journal, highlighting the words that stand out for me, sketching responses and new thanksgivings along the sides. It is an enriching and delightful exercise.
Don’t Just Give Thanks, Give Back. The old saying “it’s better to give than to receive” has stuck around for a reason, the same reason that movies like Pay It Forward, are popular. It really does feel great to help someone else out even when it involves sacrifice on our part. So look for opportunities to help others and get your kids out there doing the same. They can rake leaves for an elderly neighbor, volunteer at a nursing home a few hours a week, help at a local charity shop. You might even make service a family activity. When kids give their time and energy to help others, they’re less likely to take things like health, home and family for granted.
Find the silver lining. It’s human nature to see the glass half-empty from time to time. When you feel like griping at someone look for the joy spot that unveils the brighter side. Write it down on piece of paper and put it in a jar. By the end of the day or the week your jar should be full! Take out the joy spot sightings and read through them.
Gratitude is more about perspective than circumstance and as Sue and Chuck discovered, there is always something to be grateful for. Guided gratitude interventions are one of the techniques used with patients who have suffered traumatic, life changing injuries. As individuals practice and embrace gratitude they are able to adjust, cope and develop positive attitudes. How powerful is that?! Just imagine how different life would be if we all adopted this attitude and passed it on to our children as well.
Savour Surprises. Unexpected or surprising events tend to elicit deeper levels of gratitude. Familiarity does breed contempt where gratitude is concerned so documenting the surprises we are grateful for, like an unexpectedly beautiful sunset or a visit from a friend should be at the top of our list.
Awaken Your Senses. Our appreciation of the world comes through all of our senses. Touch, smell, sight, taste, hearing, movement all wake us up to the incredible miracle of what it means to be alive. Noticing, savoring and giving thanks for these gifts is a powerful practice.
Use Visual Reminders. The main obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness, so visual reminders can serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude. I think this is one of the reasons Thanksgiving is such a wonderful event. It brings together the people we love and are grateful for. Take photos, share stories, look intently into the eyes of those who gather. Store their faces in your memory and be grateful for them
Yes I know that there are actually 11 tips here but gratitude is such an important practice for us that I just couldn’t stop so go out and be grateful.
By Jenneth Graser —
Open the day with thanks
as you shrug back the curtains into the view.
Stop for a moment, remain.
Peel back the layers of thanksgiving:
1. everything beautiful in your past to be grateful for.
Delve deeper and you find:
2. the painful things that have shaped your life for good.
Go into a new layer and you find:
3. the small, seemingly insignificant things that make a difference.
Deeper again, peel off another layer:
4. gratitude for the present moment.
Then you become thankful for:
5. the patience you learn through irritations.
6. the challenging people who teach you to love and forgive.
7. the big things you often take for granted.
Then you discover thanks for:
8. the best that is yet to come.
The emotion of gratitude takes over
and you realise the layers won’t ever stop,
because at the ever-unveiling heart of thanksgiving you find,
something invaluable:
9. the spirit of contentment.
Thankfulness and optimism are not the same thing. Thanksgiving Day in America gives us the opportunity to think about the differences, and to remember the deep significance of thankfulness in God’s economy.
I recently wrote a book on pastoral care which will be released in August 2018 by Fortress Press. One of the people I interviewed talked about the difference between optimism and thankfulness. The context of the interview was a chapter on coping with stress. Caregivers in any context need to know how to deal with their own stress, and they also need to help care recipients cope with stress better. Research shows that optimism helps people survive stress better, because how we think about the things that are happening to us makes a difference.
My interviewee, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, said that optimism can be overemphasized when talking about stress. When we focus on optimism too much, she said, we can slide into denial, which is the refusal to admit the truth or reality of something. She said thankfulness can bring about the same good results as optimism in many difficult situations, but without any denial.
How does this work?
Thankfulness is a choice to focus our eyes on good gifts. Those gifts might come from the people around us – a stimulating conversation, an act of kindness, direct help that meets a need, an encouraging word, a doctor or other professional who gives help we need, or many other specific gifts, big or small, from people in our lives.
Thankfulness also enables us to see God’s good gifts that come directly to us – an answer to a prayer, a situation that works out well despite the odds, inner strength to do something difficult, or peace that passes all understanding. Thankfulness also helps us notice the good gifts in the physical world God created – a delicious meal, the clear eyes of a child, colorful fall leaves and beautiful spring flowers, a vivid sunset, dramatic mountains, and towering clouds.
When we focus on the good gifts that are present in our lives, we do not deny the reality of pain, stress and challenges. Thankfulness involves turning our eyes to see good things even in the midst of those difficulties, and we take a moment to thank the giver of the gift.
Thankfulness nurtures relationship. David Steindl-Rast, in his beautiful book Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer, writes, “When I acknowledge a gift received, I acknowledge a bond that binds me to the giver. . . . The one who says ‘thank you’ to another really says, ‘We belong together.’ Giver and thanksgiver belong together.” [1]
Steindl-Rast wonders if our society suffers so much from alienation because we are reluctant to offer thanks. I agree with him. It seems clear that our friendships and family relationships suffer when we feel uneasy acknowledging bonds with other people, when we hold back from expressing gratitude.
Steindl-Rast points out that everything is a gift, yet we find it hard to acknowledge gifts because we don’t like to admit our dependence. Thankfulness involves acknowledging that we belong with others and with God, and that we depend on the people around us and on God. We are not alone. We are not self-sufficient. We cannot navigate life on our own.
In contrast, when we feel pressure to be optimistic, we often feel we have to generate positivity within ourselves. Optimism can be quite individualistic, while thankfulness nurtures community.
Colossians 2:14-17 gives great advice for living in a challenging, stressful world. Note how thankfulness is woven into these words:
“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
The Godspace theme for November is “Joy to the World.” Paying attention to the good gifts in our lives is a choice that lays a foundation for joy and nurtures joy. May Thanksgiving Day give you the opportunity to notice many good gifts in your life, and may you continue to notice those gifts as Christmas approaches.
[1] David Steindl-Rast, Gratefulness, The Heart of Prayer (New York: Paulist Press, 1984), 15-17.
by Christine Sine.
As American Thanksgiving approaches, my heart is filled with gratitude for the many blessings of my life.
I think of those who have no food or shelter at this time and I am grateful for a warm house and a plentiful table.
I think of those who live in the midst of war and violence and I am grateful for peace where I live.
I think of those who are ill and in pain and I am grateful for health and vigour.
I think of those who are full of fear and worry and I am grateful for a soul at rest.
I think of those who cannot see and I am grateful for eyes to see the warm smile of friends.
I think of those who cannot hear and I am grateful for ears that hear the laughter of children.
I think of those who live alone and I am grateful for loving community.
So much to give thanks for and my heart overflows.
by Christine Sine
It is the second week of Celtic Advent for me and my focus this week will be What do I do for self care that enriches my joy in God? With American Thanksgiving only a few days away, my mind is focused on gratitude and thanksgiving, a pretty good focus as I think about how to nourish what gives me joy. Self care, is an important foundation that helps us set boundaries, increases our self awareness and encourages us to strengthen the vulnerable places in our lives. So the question that I am asking myself is, What in the circle of my life gives me joy and how do I express that with gratitude?
As I thought about this over the last couple of days, I was reminded of the circling prayers that Celts loved. Circles were significant to the Celts. It was felt that a circle with no break was a symbol of eternal life, a complete whole affording no access to the devil. It was a symbol of unity, togetherness and purity. Of course, Celtic crosses incorporated the circle at their heart in a unique and special way and I think that the circling prayers provided that same sense of completeness and protection from the devil. They helped set boundaries, sometimes in the form of an imaginary circle, sometimes as a real circle, like the ring of crosses that might be planted around a monastery.
As we move towards Christmas, I think we all need the type of boundaries and strength that the Celtic circle and the circling prayers it inspired, provide. I have blogged about this in the past and the prayer and image above were part of the response, but I know that I needed to refresh my memory and thought you might want to as well. So I have been drawing circles in my journal and using the exercise below to guide me.
The following circling exercise is adapted from a traditional CAIM. You might use it to encourage restful pauses throughout the day and use it to focus your attention for a couple of minutes, or you can use it as a more relaxed, longer exercise to focus you for the day or even for a season of your life.
Sit with your eyes closed and take a few deep breaths in and out. Imagine the circle of God’s presence surrounding you, your neighbors and God’s creation. Repeat the words Circle me Lord, Circle me with joy several times and allow your spirit to rest.
Extend the forefinger of your right hand and draw an imaginary circle around the place in which you sit. Envision God enfolding you in a cloak, and ask God for peace to hear the divine voice. Repeat the words Circle me Lord
Imagine Christ standing at the centre his arms outstretched as on the Cross, binding together the elements of the natural world and the built world of your city or dwelling, into a sacred circle of wholeness. What stirs in your mind as you do this?
Open your eyes and draw a circle in your journal or on a piece of paper to represent the encircling presence of God. What is embraced by the circle of God’s wholeness for you? Where, in this moment, are you aware of God’s wholeness and the completion of the healing both of creation and of all humankind that the circle represents?
Contemplate your circle and remind yourself of the attributes of God you want the circle of your life to embrace in this moment and in the place where you sit. Write them around the inside, add the words circle us Lord, and envision that enfolding cloak of God around you.
What do you want to keep outside the circle? Outside your circle write the emotions and feelings you want excluded from God’s enfolding cloak. Are any of these currently inside your circle but needing to be pushed out?
Who stands within the circle with you? Contemplate who stands with you at this present moment in your circle. Is it your family and friends? Is it your colleagues and workmates? Is it the homeless and dispossessed, the hungry and unjustly treated? Write their names, in the circle you have drawn.
Who stands outside the circle that you would like to bring inside? Perhaps you feel distanced from a colleague or your spouse. Perhaps you are suffering from compassion fatigue. What could you do to bring others into the loving circle of God’s embrace? Write their names outside your circle.
How is God’s creation bound with us within that circle? God’s loving circle doesn’t only encompass people it encompasses the creation too. What of God’s creation does your circle encompass at this particular moment? Write down what comes to mind.
Write your own circling prayer as a response to this exercise. Use the template
Lord circle me, keep ….within and ….without as a template. Read through your prayer. What other inspiration comes as you meditate on it?
Have Some Fun With Friends
Get together with some friends to look for circles and create circling prayers. Go for a run or a walk around your neighborhood or even just around your house and see how many circles you can find. Take photos or make a list of the circles you see. When you get together compare your lists and talk about the circles you noticed.
Now work on a circling prayer or exercise. You might like to use the template above or you could create a work of art with your circle. Here are some suggestions:
- Get out a large piece of paper and place it in the center of our table. Get everyone to doodle in a circular motion, with their eyes closed for 30 seconds. Open your eyes and create a pattern out of the doodle. Write words of encouragement inside the circles.
- Create a tree of many colors. Have your best artist sketch a tree skeleton on a large piece of paper. Have each person in the group draw and then color a circle to paste onto the tree. Write words that express what you would like to see inside the circle of God’s love on the colored circle then hang it on the tree.
- Alternatively, encourage people to gather rocks as they walk and when you come together get a large piece of construction paper to lay the rocks out in a circle. Get each person to write inside the circle the attributes of God they want embraced by God’s love and the names of those they want in the circle with them. Write outside the circle what you want to be excluded. Talk about the image you have created. Thank God for the circle of love that surrounds you.
- Go for a walk on the beach. Create circles in the sand. Make sure your circles overlap Write love at the center of the circles where they all overlap. Recite a circling prayer and a prayer of thanks to God.
Prayerfully watch the video below. Is there any other response that God is asking of you?
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