Thankfulness and optimism are not the same thing. Thanksgiving Day in America gives us the opportunity to think about the differences, and to remember the deep significance of thankfulness in God’s economy.
I recently wrote a book on pastoral care which will be released in August 2018 by Fortress Press. One of the people I interviewed talked about the difference between optimism and thankfulness. The context of the interview was a chapter on coping with stress. Caregivers in any context need to know how to deal with their own stress, and they also need to help care recipients cope with stress better. Research shows that optimism helps people survive stress better, because how we think about the things that are happening to us makes a difference.
My interviewee, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, said that optimism can be overemphasized when talking about stress. When we focus on optimism too much, she said, we can slide into denial, which is the refusal to admit the truth or reality of something. She said thankfulness can bring about the same good results as optimism in many difficult situations, but without any denial.
How does this work?
Thankfulness is a choice to focus our eyes on good gifts. Those gifts might come from the people around us – a stimulating conversation, an act of kindness, direct help that meets a need, an encouraging word, a doctor or other professional who gives help we need, or many other specific gifts, big or small, from people in our lives.
Thankfulness also enables us to see God’s good gifts that come directly to us – an answer to a prayer, a situation that works out well despite the odds, inner strength to do something difficult, or peace that passes all understanding. Thankfulness also helps us notice the good gifts in the physical world God created – a delicious meal, the clear eyes of a child, colorful fall leaves and beautiful spring flowers, a vivid sunset, dramatic mountains, and towering clouds.
When we focus on the good gifts that are present in our lives, we do not deny the reality of pain, stress and challenges. Thankfulness involves turning our eyes to see good things even in the midst of those difficulties, and we take a moment to thank the giver of the gift.
Thankfulness nurtures relationship. David Steindl-Rast, in his beautiful book Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer, writes, “When I acknowledge a gift received, I acknowledge a bond that binds me to the giver. . . . The one who says ‘thank you’ to another really says, ‘We belong together.’ Giver and thanksgiver belong together.” [1]
Steindl-Rast wonders if our society suffers so much from alienation because we are reluctant to offer thanks. I agree with him. It seems clear that our friendships and family relationships suffer when we feel uneasy acknowledging bonds with other people, when we hold back from expressing gratitude.
Steindl-Rast points out that everything is a gift, yet we find it hard to acknowledge gifts because we don’t like to admit our dependence. Thankfulness involves acknowledging that we belong with others and with God, and that we depend on the people around us and on God. We are not alone. We are not self-sufficient. We cannot navigate life on our own.
In contrast, when we feel pressure to be optimistic, we often feel we have to generate positivity within ourselves. Optimism can be quite individualistic, while thankfulness nurtures community.
Colossians 2:14-17 gives great advice for living in a challenging, stressful world. Note how thankfulness is woven into these words:
“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
The Godspace theme for November is “Joy to the World.” Paying attention to the good gifts in our lives is a choice that lays a foundation for joy and nurtures joy. May Thanksgiving Day give you the opportunity to notice many good gifts in your life, and may you continue to notice those gifts as Christmas approaches.
[1] David Steindl-Rast, Gratefulness, The Heart of Prayer (New York: Paulist Press, 1984), 15-17.
by Christine Sine.
As American Thanksgiving approaches, my heart is filled with gratitude for the many blessings of my life.
I think of those who have no food or shelter at this time and I am grateful for a warm house and a plentiful table.
I think of those who live in the midst of war and violence and I am grateful for peace where I live.
I think of those who are ill and in pain and I am grateful for health and vigour.
I think of those who are full of fear and worry and I am grateful for a soul at rest.
I think of those who cannot see and I am grateful for eyes to see the warm smile of friends.
I think of those who cannot hear and I am grateful for ears that hear the laughter of children.
I think of those who live alone and I am grateful for loving community.
So much to give thanks for and my heart overflows.
by Christine Sine
It is the second week of Celtic Advent for me and my focus this week will be What do I do for self care that enriches my joy in God? With American Thanksgiving only a few days away, my mind is focused on gratitude and thanksgiving, a pretty good focus as I think about how to nourish what gives me joy. Self care, is an important foundation that helps us set boundaries, increases our self awareness and encourages us to strengthen the vulnerable places in our lives. So the question that I am asking myself is, What in the circle of my life gives me joy and how do I express that with gratitude?
As I thought about this over the last couple of days, I was reminded of the circling prayers that Celts loved. Circles were significant to the Celts. It was felt that a circle with no break was a symbol of eternal life, a complete whole affording no access to the devil. It was a symbol of unity, togetherness and purity. Of course, Celtic crosses incorporated the circle at their heart in a unique and special way and I think that the circling prayers provided that same sense of completeness and protection from the devil. They helped set boundaries, sometimes in the form of an imaginary circle, sometimes as a real circle, like the ring of crosses that might be planted around a monastery.
As we move towards Christmas, I think we all need the type of boundaries and strength that the Celtic circle and the circling prayers it inspired, provide. I have blogged about this in the past and the prayer and image above were part of the response, but I know that I needed to refresh my memory and thought you might want to as well. So I have been drawing circles in my journal and using the exercise below to guide me.
The following circling exercise is adapted from a traditional CAIM. You might use it to encourage restful pauses throughout the day and use it to focus your attention for a couple of minutes, or you can use it as a more relaxed, longer exercise to focus you for the day or even for a season of your life.
Sit with your eyes closed and take a few deep breaths in and out. Imagine the circle of God’s presence surrounding you, your neighbors and God’s creation. Repeat the words Circle me Lord, Circle me with joy several times and allow your spirit to rest.
Extend the forefinger of your right hand and draw an imaginary circle around the place in which you sit. Envision God enfolding you in a cloak, and ask God for peace to hear the divine voice. Repeat the words Circle me Lord
Imagine Christ standing at the centre his arms outstretched as on the Cross, binding together the elements of the natural world and the built world of your city or dwelling, into a sacred circle of wholeness. What stirs in your mind as you do this?
Open your eyes and draw a circle in your journal or on a piece of paper to represent the encircling presence of God. What is embraced by the circle of God’s wholeness for you? Where, in this moment, are you aware of God’s wholeness and the completion of the healing both of creation and of all humankind that the circle represents?
Contemplate your circle and remind yourself of the attributes of God you want the circle of your life to embrace in this moment and in the place where you sit. Write them around the inside, add the words circle us Lord, and envision that enfolding cloak of God around you.
What do you want to keep outside the circle? Outside your circle write the emotions and feelings you want excluded from God’s enfolding cloak. Are any of these currently inside your circle but needing to be pushed out?
Who stands within the circle with you? Contemplate who stands with you at this present moment in your circle. Is it your family and friends? Is it your colleagues and workmates? Is it the homeless and dispossessed, the hungry and unjustly treated? Write their names, in the circle you have drawn.
Who stands outside the circle that you would like to bring inside? Perhaps you feel distanced from a colleague or your spouse. Perhaps you are suffering from compassion fatigue. What could you do to bring others into the loving circle of God’s embrace? Write their names outside your circle.
How is God’s creation bound with us within that circle? God’s loving circle doesn’t only encompass people it encompasses the creation too. What of God’s creation does your circle encompass at this particular moment? Write down what comes to mind.
Write your own circling prayer as a response to this exercise. Use the template
Lord circle me, keep ….within and ….without as a template. Read through your prayer. What other inspiration comes as you meditate on it?
Have Some Fun With Friends
Get together with some friends to look for circles and create circling prayers. Go for a run or a walk around your neighborhood or even just around your house and see how many circles you can find. Take photos or make a list of the circles you see. When you get together compare your lists and talk about the circles you noticed.
Now work on a circling prayer or exercise. You might like to use the template above or you could create a work of art with your circle. Here are some suggestions:
- Get out a large piece of paper and place it in the center of our table. Get everyone to doodle in a circular motion, with their eyes closed for 30 seconds. Open your eyes and create a pattern out of the doodle. Write words of encouragement inside the circles.
- Create a tree of many colors. Have your best artist sketch a tree skeleton on a large piece of paper. Have each person in the group draw and then color a circle to paste onto the tree. Write words that express what you would like to see inside the circle of God’s love on the colored circle then hang it on the tree.
- Alternatively, encourage people to gather rocks as they walk and when you come together get a large piece of construction paper to lay the rocks out in a circle. Get each person to write inside the circle the attributes of God they want embraced by God’s love and the names of those they want in the circle with them. Write outside the circle what you want to be excluded. Talk about the image you have created. Thank God for the circle of love that surrounds you.
- Go for a walk on the beach. Create circles in the sand. Make sure your circles overlap Write love at the center of the circles where they all overlap. Recite a circling prayer and a prayer of thanks to God.
Prayerfully watch the video below. Is there any other response that God is asking of you?
I love that our theme for November and December is Joy to the World! With all that is going on globally I need the reminder that Joy does exist! And I need to actually PRACTICE finding joy in my daily life. Sometimes it’s hard to descibe how we find Joy. So it helps to think of the opposite of Joy.
I think it also helps to identify what takes away our joy. What things pop right into your head when I ask “What steals your joy?” For me it’s things like traffic, Too Much Noise, Too Much TV especially news, lack of sleep, and Paper work!
So for Advent I need to plan ways to avoid these things. And to notice when these and other things are stealing my joy! What are your Joy Stealers? And How can you and I plan ways to avoid JOY stealers this holiday season?
Step 1: Identify your Joy Stealers. Make a list!
Step 2: Make a plan and choose to lose the Joy Stealing actions and activities in the days ahead!
Step 3: Identify what brings you Joy and start practicing these things!
Step 4: Start watching for Joy! Notice when Joy happens! Document JOY sightings!
Where do you find Joy? What things naturally bring JOY to you?
I find JOY in hanging out with children. Their curiosity and sense of wonder remind me that I need to be more curious and more wonder seeking! I spent some time in a third grade classroom last week, and even though it was late afternoon, they were still curious and still saw things I wouldn’t normally see. We were talking about why the trees lose their leaves in the fall and about photosynthesis and one boy noticed that a leaf seemed to be hanging off the tree all on it’s own, no branch in site! It was hanging by a spider web thread being gently blown by the wind. That’s the gift of noticing! Finding joy in the small things and taking time to notice them!
Which leads me to a second way I find JOY, being out in Nature. What things in Nature bring you JOY? Watching Sunsets are one of my favorite joy sources! The fall colors bring me joy too. And I absolutely love snow! Maybe watching a squirrel climb a tree or your cat investigate your briefcase or shopping bag can bring you joy and make you smile. Maybe plan some out door adventure or cook some s’mores over a firepit. Take time to notice the beauty of Creation and take time to be thankful.
If you have children at home or friends with kids, take time to ask them what makes them smile and this can help you catch Joy too! Volunteer in a classroom or take a walk with a child and notice what they notice, like the leaves, the bugs, the faces and shapes in the clouds.
Maybe you find joy when you take time to create something. It could be baking something or making something with your hands. Perhaps you could choose to turn off the TV or step away from the computer or phone and make or do something that brings you joy. Dust off your bicycle or get your sled ready for that first snow fall. Shoot hoops, Swing on a swing, plant something. Make a new play list with songs that bring joy to your heart and a smile to your face and listen to them regularly. Share that play list with a friend to pass along the JOY! I love baking chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin muffins from scratch. The process of baking is joyfilled. And giving them to my neighbors adds to that joy.
What about you? What are your Joy Sightings? As a practice for Advent take time to Notice the things that bring a smile to your face. Document Joy Sightings! Write them down or take a pic with your phone to help you remember. We could even start a hashtag for Advent and share these joy filled things with each other to help spread the JOY to the world.
Please join me in Joy and #Joysighting this Advent!
by Christine Sine
As I was praying this morning this prayer came to me. I have printed it out and plan to use it to start my prayer times each morning over the next few days. I thought some of you might enjoy it too.
by Christine Sine
Welcome to Celtic Advent. I cannot remember when I have had more fun getting ready for Christmas. Starting some new practices has stirred my creative juices in new ways providing a wonderful sense of closeness to God and expectation for the coming season. The photo above is of my completed Advent garden – at least as complete as something that will continue to grow can be. It is set up on our dining room table and will provide a focus for both Tom and I as we celebrate the season each day. As I mentioned in my Monday post, I purposely chose to recycle on of my existing gardens, choosing a circular bowl to remind me of the circle of my life (a symbol so important to the Celts… but more of that next week). I also found that pulling out the old plants, dividing some of them, and replanting all of them in fresh soil was a great reminded that everything in my life is recycled too. I am constantly needing to replant and rearrange what is in the circle of my life to give me greater joy.
The photo below is of the altar I have set up for my personal morning devotions. An ancient icon of the annunciation that belonged to a relative who was a Greek orthodox priest, a “stained glass” image of Jesus and Mary, given to me by a friend who died shortly after of cancer, some of my favourite heart shaped rocks, my air plants and other living plants all on an “altar cloth” of a tea towel with designs from the Book of Kells. I love combining items that have sentimental value with some I have made, others that are repurposed and still others that are living. It is a great reminder to me that as we move towards the birth of Christ we move towards the One who renews and transforms all things, the One for whom nothing is ever lost or abandoned. 
Tom and I are still discussing exactly how we will celebrate each day, after all this is a new practice for us, but at this point we intend to light the appropriate candles in the Advent garden, read a short Celtic meditation each morning and then a prayer. We are also both setting reminders to pause at certain times during the day for a short “rest in the moment” break, a time to refocus and remind ourselves of what really matters in our lives.
As an Amazon Associate, I receive a small amount for purchases made through appropriate links.
Thank you for supporting Godspace in this way.
When referencing or quoting Godspace Light, please be sure to include the Author (Christine Sine unless otherwise noted), the Title of the article or resource, the Source link where appropriate, and ©Godspacelight.com. Thank you!