Advent is half over. We still wait for the arrival of the Christ child. But to where will we welcome him? Do we really want him taking up residence in our homes or is easier to relegate him to the stable, to see him as an outsider, not really part of the family? Seeing Jesus in an out of the way place where disreputable people like shepherds can come to worship without us having to worry about them messing up our homes makes life easy for us. We get that glow that tells us Jesus is here but there is very little commitment required of us.
According to New Testament theologian Kenneth Bailey in his wonderful book Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes, Middle Eastern cultures are known for their hospitality and Joseph was coming home with a new wife and an expected first child so there is no way they would have been relegated to the stable. The whole family was gathering, aunts and uncles, cousins and brothers and sisters. All of them coming home. Yes there was a census that brought them together but in a fun loving culture like this it would not have diminished the welcome or the excitement of a homecoming gathering. The expectation of a baby to be born in their midst would only have increased the excitement.
As Kenneth Bailey explains, the Greek word (katalyma or kataluma) translated as inn in Luke 2:7 does not mean a commercial building with rooms for travelers. It’s a guest space, typically the upper room of a common village home.
“A simple village home in the time of King David, up until the Second World War, in the Holy Land, had two rooms—one for guests, one for the family. The family room had an area, usually about four feet lower, for the family donkey, the family cow, and two or three sheep. They are brought in last thing at night and taken out and tied up in the courtyard first thing in the morning.
“Out of the stone floor of the living room, close to family animals, you dig mangers or make a small one out of wood for sheep. Jesus is clearly welcomed into a family home,” See the entire article here
It was to this simple village home that the shepherds and wise men alike came. Shepherds despised and regarded as unclean by their society, are visited by angels and invited to join the great home coming celebration that marks the coming of the child who will become the Messiah. That they were welcomed and not turned away from this home is remarkable. This is good news indeed for the outcast and the despised.
Then the wise men come, according to Bailey, rich men on camels, probably from Arabia. And they come not to the city of Jerusalem where the Jews thought God’s glory would shine, but to the child born in a manager around whom there is already a great light. The wise men come to find a new home, a new place of belonging that has beckoned to them across the world. This too is remarkable and good news for people of all nations who long for a place to call home.
Bailey tells us that the birth stories of Jesus “de-Zionize” the Messianic traditions. Hopes and expectations for the city of Jerusalem are fulfilled in the birth of the child Jesus. (p54).
The new family, the community that will be formed around this child, does not look to the earthly Jerusalem as its home, but to the heavenly Jerusalem which will come down from heaven as a gift of God at the end of history. (Revelation 21:1-4). And it is to this home, a place with no more tears, or oppression or starvation that all of us are beckoned by the birth of Christ.
I love this imagery. Even in the birth of Jesus we are called towards a new family and a new home. There are family and friends and animals. And special invitations by angels for the despised and rejected, and a star to guide the strangers and those who seem far off. The new family and the home envisioned in the birth of Jesus is inclusive of all accept God’s invitation.
What will it take for us to really welcome Jesus into our homes this Christmas season?
Let’s recognize Jesus as a part of our family.
I have friends who always leave an empty chair at the dinner table when they hold a festive meal. It is a symbol of the fact that Jesus is the unseen guest at all our meals, the family member who is always present even when we cannot see him. It makes me wonder if at this time of year we should set up the manager in the centre of our dining room tables in preparation for the birth of a baby into our families, a constant reminder that Jesus came to be a part of our family and welcome us into God’s eternal family.
Let’s be willing to invite all those who come with him.
They too are part of our family. We cannot welcome Jesus without also extending our hand of welcome to those who gather round the manger – the disreputable and despised, the foreigners and aliens.
These days when a baby is born many young couples keep it cloistered away for the first couple of months, afraid that it will be exposed to germs that it has no immunity to. Most parents would certainly not welcome those who came to see Jesus – first the animals and then the homeless shepherds who slept in the fields at night. Who do we exclude from our families because we are afraid they will contaminate us and the babies in our midst?
I love the French custom of santons, in which clay models of villagers are positioned around the manger bringing their gifts to the Christ child. Imagine all our neighbours, those we enjoy and those we don’t want to have anything to do with, clustered around the manger, invited into that place of intimate hospitality with God. I encourage all of us to consider creating our own “santons” this Advent and Christmas season, santons of words, photos, and actions, not figures of clay.
Emma Morgan adapted this idea for her church in Australia. You can read her account of what she did here
I am more convinced than ever that it matters a lot where we think Jesus was born, who was with him and how we relate to him.
What is Your Response.
Sit and think about what kind of Jesus you are waiting for this Advent season. Visualize this baby being born into your family. How would be be welcomed? Who would be welcomed with him? Who would not be welcomed into the family circle around him.
So as we light the first candle of Advent, the candle of hope, listen to Kathy Troccoli as she encourages us to go light our world because, as she says we are a family.
(This post is adapted from one I wrote several years ago after reading Kenneth Bailey’s book Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes). As an Amazon Affiliate I will receive a small amount for purchases made when you click on this link.
The service includes Scripture, lectio divina, silence, and reflective worship. People were seated in a circle with a candle in the middle. A painting of Mary being visited by the Angel was also displayed.Responsive Reading
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by Christine Sine
This morning I have been thinking about the wonder of breath. I read one of my breathing prayers and sat in silence for a few minutes breathing in and out slowly. Listening to the sound of my breath, imagining it flowing into my body and deoxygenating my cells. Not surprisingly this had me reaching for another of my Advent prayers from the past. (Also one of my favorites)
Breath is miraculous. It is life. It is the very essence of God. Yet it is not this I have been thinking about. The cries of those who can’t breathe freely ring in my mind. So many people whose breath has been cut short by fear and terror, by fire, flood and starvation. Images of polluted cities whose air is slowly killing their inhabitants come to me. Asthma sufferers. Refugees fleeing their breathing strangled by hate and violence.
This is the season we not only wait for the one who gives us breath, we wait for the healing and wholeness that comes when all are able to breathe freely and deeply without fear and without the strangling impacts of hate, abandonment and marginalization.
Darkness has been a regular companion for me in the cycles of deepening relationship with God. Usually, suffering of some sort accompanies the lightless season. I’ve had enough experiences like this now that I’ve learned not to panic. The first time around I was terrified. I thought something was wrong with me. I thought I must be losing my way. I thought either there is no God or God is so out of reach that I’ll never realize God’s real presence.
Sure, in my younger life I had had plenty of spiritual experiences. Some I’m sure were authentic. Most were fairly emotional, perhaps some even emotionally manipulated. At any rate, early in the spiritual journey I enjoyed a number of experiences that reinforced God’s love for me. But then, the practices that used to help stir up a spiritual experience—worship music, spiritual teaching from the church, Bible reading, and prayer—ran dry. They didn’t support my connection with God like they used to. I found myself alone, in obscurity.
Thankfully, the right teachers came into my life and introduced me to contemplative practice as a way of sustaining my faith journey. It’s like I was given practices not so much to light the way through the shadows but instead to teach me how to walk in the dark.
During winter seasons in the journey, our spiritual senses are concealed so that our vision for reality can be refined. “Now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror; then we will see face to face. My knowledge is imperfect now; then I will know even as I am known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). In a way, it’s like eye surgery. We have to suffer momentary blindness to receive precision of sight.
Years ago, my friends Jeelan and Nazreen gave me the gift of physical sight. Jeelan was born into an Urdu-speaking folk Muslim family in the heart of South India’s Tamil Nadu. Nazreen was born into a progressive Pakistani-Malay Muslim family. She grew up in Singapore. When Jeelan moved to Singapore for work, they met, fell in love and eventually married. Today, they are raising their two beautiful children near San Francisco. In all my travels around the world, no one has been more family to me than Naz and Jeel.
I had been nearsighted from the time I was nine years old. I remember as a young student in second or third grade trying to read the classroom chalkboard and using my index fingers to squint my eyes to help make out the teacher’s writing. My eyesight used to be so bad that I couldn’t see the bedside clock in the morning. As you can imagine, frequent travel to various places around the world made dealing with contact lenses and glasses rather difficult. By the time I was an adult, Lasik corrective eye surgery had come a long way, and I wondered if I would ever be able to afford it. It would be a miracle to have my eyesight restored without the need of corrective lenses.
My friends Nazreen and Jeelan got wind of my desire for the surgery and to my surprise offered to pay for it so I wouldn’t have to wait any longer. Imagine. A Muslim gave me, a Christian, sight.
The surgery and recovery were quite an experience. Before the operation, the nurse gave me something to help me relax. Then she secured my eyelids open. The next thing I knew, a laser beam was penetrating my eye. All grew dark. I don’t remember a lot after that. When it was time to leave the clinic, patches were put over my eyes. When I returned home, in the dark, unable to see, I could do nothing but sleep. When I woke, it was safe to remove the bandages. I remember the anticipation. Would I really be able to see without my glasses? And sure enough, I could easily read the bedside clock.
Clear sight wasn’t exactly instantaneous. It took a little while for my eyes to adjust. I even had to go back to the surgeon for a minor surgical adjustment. It’s like this in a spiritual sense too. At times, we have to enter periods of darkness so that God can perform miracles in perception. It’s scary. And it requires every ounce of trust we’ve got. But when the darkness lifts, we see in a new way. There may be an adjustment period, but soon enough we stabilize with new spiritual sight. And in all likelihood, there will be times when we have to enter the darkness again for an adjustment.
In some ways, the role of darkness in the spiritual journey is like the story of Moses who wanted to encounter the living God. God said that no one has seen the face of God and lived, so Moses had to take cover in a cave (retreat into darkness) while the presence of God passed by (Exodus 33:12‑23).
It’s true that we cannot see the face of God and live (Exodus 33:20). At least the false self cannot live in the presence of God. As we draw nearer to God, we take cover in the dark while the false self is burned away. If we want to “see” (become aware) of the reality of God, the false self has to die, or let go of its dominance. For ultimately, as Father Richard rightly points out, everything belongs. It’s just a matter of the false self-dying to its prominence or dominance in one’s life. This is the work of the spiritual journey. This is what it means to do your inner work. The false ideas, misperceptions, and skewed beliefs about God and, quite frankly, about ourselves have to metaphorically burn up in divine light.
*Taken from Mindful Silence by Phileen Heuertz. Copyright (c) 2018 by Phileena Heuertz. Published by InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL. www.ivpress.com
Phileena Heuertz is the author of Pilgrimage of a Soul and Mindful Silence and a founding partner of Gravity, a Center for Contemplative Activism. For nearly twenty years she and her husband, Chris, codirected an international nonprofit in more than seventy countries, building community among victims of human trafficking, survivors of HIV and AIDS, abandoned children, and child soldiers and war brides.
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by Christine Sine
Today’s litany for the Third week of Advent is from my book Waiting for the Light.
The coming of our Lord is near,
Something new is around the corner,
Love, joy, peace and hope,
We await the promise of your coming.
The coming of our Lord is near,
Something new is appearing,
A child, a saviour, God’s much beloved son,
We await the hope of your coming.
The coming of our Lord is near,
Something new is being birthed,
A new heaven, a new world, a new community,
We await the long expected One.
The coming of our Lord is near,
We wait in joyful expectation for what is emerging,
Love comes down at Christmas,
And we await your coming.
(Pause to light the appropriate Advent candles)
The coming of our Lord is near
and we await the promise of your coming,
Light of the world draw close,
Shine on us with your guiding presence,
Shine in us with your truth and forgiveness,
Shine through us with your mercy and love.
The coming of our Lord is near
and we await the promise of your coming,
Bring light and life and love into our world,
Lead us to the fullness of life,
Where peace and righteousness kiss,
Where truth and justice embrace.
Come Lord Jesus come
You who are love incarnate,
You who give life eternal,
You who are the One in whom all things find completion,
Draw close and teach us the ways of peace.
Come Lord Jesus come,
You who are fully human yet fully God,
Come again into our world,
Come again into our lives,
Draw close, come again and make us whole.
Scripture Readings: read appropriate scriptures for the day.
Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
God who is justice, come.
Come to refugees and victims of violence throughout the world.
God who is righteousness, come.
Come to all who have been mistreated and abused.
God who is compassion, come.
Come to all who are sick and in need of healing.
God who is love, come.
Come to all who hate and live in fear.
Light of the world come, draw near,
In this Advent season come into our world afresh,
Draw all the world’s people into your embrace,
Open our hearts to welcome you.
Light of the world come, draw near,
Shine your star that we might follow,
Let angel choruses welcome you,
And proclaim your peace through all the earth.
Light of the world come, draw near,
Birth in us something new,
Fill the emptiness within,
Let your love overflow in us, through us, beyond us.
Amen.
Week 3 of Advent from John Lewis’ book, Finding the Treasure in Christmas: A Guide to celebrating Advent for Families —
Special Activities:
- Take the baby Jesus from the Nativity set, wrap Him in a box, and put Him under the tree as the first gift. Remember, the starting place of Christmas is receiving the gift of Jesus.
- Wrap and put some presents under the tree.
- Put up your stockings, remembering the legend of Santa Claus (see Reflect below) and that traditionally gifts were put in socks hung to dry over the fireplace.
- Read a suggested story from the New Guideposts Christmas Treasury, found in Appendix II.
- Watch: It’s a Wonderful Life(Theme: Our life is a gift to the world); The Toy that Saved Christmas/Veggie Tales(Theme: Christmas is not about getting gifts, but about giving, just as God gave Jesus); The Drummer Boy(Theme: We need to give the gift of ourselves to baby Jesus).
Read:
Read Isaiah 9:6; Luke 2: 8-12, 15-18 as you light the third Advent candle, which is the “Shepherd’s Candle.”
Reflect:
Santa Claus comes from the legend of Saint Nicholas, a bishop who lived centuries ago and who deeply loved God and people. He became famous for showing his gratitude to God by giving gifts to the poor in his city, and especially for the children. Legend has it he left his gifts in the stockings they had laid by the hearth or by their bed to dry overnight. His story has since captured the hearts of the world. Nearly every nation has some kind of tradition of giving surprises and goodies to children on Christmas. This tradition of giving and receiving presents, and of leaving out stockings to be filled on Christmas Eve, can all be traced back to Saint Nicholas. He freely received from Christ, so freely he gave (Matt. 10:18).
This same response of giving is wonderfully displayed in the first Christmas shepherds. In an obscure field, angels sang to these bedraggled and forgotten folk. Motivated by the mysterious gift of the Christ child, the shepherds eagerly spread the story of the angels’ message, first to Mary and Joseph, and then to whomever would listen. Proclaiming God’s gift to them became their gift to those around them.
However, it is easy to forget that the foundation of our holiday giving is the extravagant coming of Christ. As Jesus’ followers, we can be tempted by store sales, helping prop up the economy, or merely following a cultural custom. Shouldn’t we be motivated to give by something deeper? “We love because God first loved us,” and God never loved us more than when He sent His only Son (John 3:16).
The meaning of Jesus’ name –“God saves”– reminds us that it is in Jesus’ very nature to give out of His abundance. Christ’s two-step cadence of receiving and giving is equally woven into our nature. As those called by Love and those who have freely received God’s “grace upon grace” (John 1:16); we are also called to give. Grace piled upon grace.
Our Christmas giving sets the course for how we should live all year long. Inspired by the eagerness of the shepherds, we should end the holidays ready to share thrilling story of Jesus.
Sing:
“Silent Night” (especially verse 2)
Pray:
God, You gave the greatest treasure in sending Jesus, Your Son. He came wrapped in such a way that most of the world did not know, and still doesn’t know, that He is our long awaited King. Open our eyes to see the gift of the baby Savior, and through Him the gift of life. Let our to each other this Christmas be our way of saying thank You for Your wonderful love, expressed most extravagantly in Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
John Lewis lives in Tacoma, Washington and is a father of three grown children and husband of one Christmas-loving wife. He is the director of Kingdom Story Ministries and passionate about seeing the next generation of Jesus followers grow and stay faithful over their life time. Building meaningful and enduring traditions during the Advent season, the month before Christmas, was certainly one way their kids found long term faith roots. Those 15 years of trial and error, singing carols and squirming in their seats, reading and sharing, putting up the tree, lights, ornaments and star one week at a time, they were well worth the effort. Though far from perfect, we offer to you our flexible approach and variety of ideas for developing Christ centered Christmas traditions. May your kids, year after year, grow anticipate the faith element of Christmas alongside all the fun of the season; may their roots run long and deep for the challenging life they have ahead of them.
There is much on all our minds as we prepare for Christmas this year that is not pleasant. The fires in California that have killed so many and left many more homeless. The tragic plight of almost 90 million displaced people around the world, war in Ukraine and many other places, fears about climate change and its potentially devastating impact on our planet, and our own personal tragedies of lost loved ones, friends or relatives with terminal illnesses, and other losses mean that our hearts are grieving. In 2023, we are certainly experiencing situations and difficulties like never before. So why do we try to cover our pain and grief with Yuletide cheer?
Many churches recognize that Festivals of Carols, celebrations of Christmas, and children’s pageants do not meet everyone’s needs. To fill this gap churches offer a Blue Christmas service, a Service of Solace or Longest Night. People who are not having a very merry Christmas and friends who support them are invited to come and sit with one another in a liturgy that speaks of the love of God for the grieving.
Godspace writers have posted several times in the past about this but thought that this year I would combine some of the resources into a single post so that those of you who are planning services or your own personal ritual can easily access them. Some are creative ideas for activities that facilitate grieving.
One post I do want to highlight from the past however is Katie Kennington Steer’s beautiful poem/post as part of her personal grieving as well as her post for Blue. Christmas 2020 – Feeling Blue
The Empty Chair
An empty chair is a powerful symbol of loss and can really facilitate our grieving. Creating a prayer station composed only of empty chairs or having empty chairs at the front of the sanctuary are both simple but powerful worship tools. If you have a small group of participants you might like to suggest each person grabs one of the empty chairs and sits it next to them at one point in the service. The image above is from a memorial service Peter Majendie constructed following the Christchurch earthquake of 2011 – heart rending and effective.
Use Lots of Candles
Four candles are often lit in Blue Christmas ceremonies: 1) One candle is lit for those who have passed, giving thanks to the memory that connects them to us this season; 2) One candle is lit to redeem the pain of the loss; 3) One candle is lit to honor ourselves; and, 4) One candle is lit for the gift of faith and hope symbolized in the Christmas story. However the lighting of candles by each of the congregation and the creating of a prayer table for all those we have lost can provide an even more compelling statement.
Create a Collage
Ask people attending the service to bring photos of those people or situations for which they are grieving. At one of the tables have a large sheet of cardboard on which people can paste their photos to create a collage.
Remember
Provide ribbon or paper for people to write names or prayers on. Our church does this for All Saints Day and the ribbon then hangs in the sanctuary until Advent begins. If you have an artist in your congregation who can create a collage from these ribbons and prayers. In the photo above we used small rocks instead, writing peoples’ names on them and then putting them in the bowl around the candle. At the end of the service people took out their stones to take home.
Symbols of Pain and Suffering
Our good friend Mark Pierson is one of the most creative worship curators I know. I still remember him using zip ties and barbed wire crosses in a worship service that had all of us grieving for the abandoned and despised in our world.
Zip or cable ties, are used as handcuffs in many parts of the world and can effectively be used as symbols of bondage either in our own lives or in the lives of the suffering people around the world that we identify with.
One possibility is to give each person a zip tie at the beginning of the service. After a period of quiet prayer and reflection encourage them to come to the front where a chain link fence or screen has been set up. Participants attach their cable tie to the fence as a symbol of identification of the suffering of people unjustly treated, or senselessly killed around the world. They then pick up a barbed wire cut off cross to take back to their seat as a reminder that Jesus accepted us and came to earth to relieve our suffering and pain. The barbed wire is also a symbol of our willingness to accept responsibility of the suffering of others and to do what we can to alleviate it.
Symbols of Hope
Most people do not want to leave a service with a feeling of despair or hopelessness. Providing a table at which they can create a memorial for the season that gives them hope is one way to turn hopelessness into hope. You might like to provide paper and pencils for people to draw or doodle with, rocks for them to paint or plants to create gardens. Alternatively ask them to bring journals and photos to the event. Provide a table at which they can create artistic images of their loved ones or of the situations they are grieving.
Art journalling like this is becoming more and more popular. Creating pages with the images of those we love who have passed away, decorating them and using them as a focus for prayer during the season can be very healing. Personally, I am discovering more each year how healing a memorial garden or stone can be too and offering this creative exercise to others is something that I increasingly do at retreats and other events.
Resources for Blue Christmas
Services
- Fidelia Magazine has an excellent liturgy for a Blue Christmas service – When Christmas Hurts.
- re:Worship always has great resources and I think has the best list for Blue Christmas ideas of any site I have visited.
Music
- Lectionary Songs has some excellent suggestions on songs for such a service.
- And another good list of Songs of Lament to consider.
- Our church’s Longest Night service used the words of Mumford and Sons song “After the Storm” for the prayer after communion, which I thought was very powerful.
After the Storm
And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.
Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won’t rot, I won’t rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won’t rot.
for those who hate their thighs and for those who have been abused.
for the bones that break and the cancer that spreads.
for blisters and splinters and hairs that split.
for asthma that seizes and for those we love who never get better.
for those who can’t get warm enough to sleep.
for those who wake early to find the dreams of beauty are not real.
for those whose coffee pots break when they need it most.
for hangovers and regrets and nights spent tossing.
Come and lament with me.
Let us attend.
For today and most days
All we bring are broken things.
- Here is a beautiful adaptation of Psalm 88 that would also make a good addition to a Blue Christmas service
Prayers
A couple of years ago, when grieving the still raw death of my mother, I wrote my own Blue Christmas poem.
On this long dark night we await the coming of Christ.
We long for the light of his presence,
With us and in us.
When our souls are deeply troubled,
and our hearts break with the weight of sorrow,
may our grief be seasoned with love,
and our sorrow be buoyed by hope.
In our times of God-forsakenness and estrangement,
May we gaze on the innocent One,
made perfect through suffering.
and see in him our vulnerable God,
who saves in weakness and pain.
May our suffering empty us of pride,
and lead us to true joy
our only security,
in Christ the infinite depths of God’s grace.
Let me end with this meaningful prayer by Ted Loder which appears in Guerrillas of Grace,
O God of all seasons and senses,
grant us the sense of your timing
to submit gracefully and rejoice quietly in the turn of the seasons.
In this season of short days and long nights,
of grey and white and cold,
teach us the lessons of endings;
children growing, friends leaving, loved ones dying,
grieving over,
grudges over,
blaming over,
excuses over.
O God, grant us a sense of your timing.
In this season of short days and long nights,
of grey and white and cold,
teach us the lessons of beginnings;
that such waitings and endings may be the starting place,
a planting of seeds which bring to birth what is ready to be born—
something right and just and different,
a new song, a deeper relationship, a fuller love—
in the fullness of your time.
O God, grant us the sense of your timing.
This is part of a series on Christmas/Advent resources.
- Advent Activities for Families and Kids
- Helping Kids Give Back This Christmas
- Celebrate With Simplicity This Christmas
- Advent/Christmas Music from a Rich Array of Traditions
- Getting Ready for Advent/Christmas Worship Resources for the Season
- Choosing Your Scripture Readings for the Coming Year
- Who Will You Invite to the Manger?
- Advent Candle Light Liturgy
- What On Earth Are The O Antiphons
Resources from Godspace for Advent and Christmas
Godspace has a variety of resources available for celebrating this season.
- NEW DEVOTIONAL! Lean Towards the Light this Advent & Christmas + Advent Cards Bundle compiled by Christine Sine and Lisa DeRosa
- A Journey Toward Home: Soul Travel For Advent to Lent compiled by Kristin Carroccino and Christine Sine
- Waiting for the Light: An Advent Devotional compiled by Ricci Kilmer, Susan Wade and Christine Sine
- Prayer Cards – more than Christmas gifts. These have been used for daily devotions, grief counselling, small groups and congregational prayers.
Check out the entire resource list here for more ideas for Advent and Christmas.
Godspace has a number of Advent resources available for both free download and purchase. Visit our store here.
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