As Hurricane Dorian pummels the Bahamas and people in Florida, South Carolina and North Carolina get ready for its arrival, our prayers go out to all who are impacted. We feel so helpless and all we can do is pray.
God of the universe,
The foundation of life.
You are always with us,
In the quiet and the storm you surround us,
Your love stays closer than a friend.
In this time of storm be with all who are vulnerable.
Hold them close as the winds blow and the oceans rage.
Place your arms around them as the trees fall and the rivers rise.
Keep them safe from wind and rain and fly debris.
Calm their fears and their anxieties.
Bring them help when they need it.
Guide those that respond in the midst of danger.
Be with rescuers and firemen,
With electric workers and emergency crews,
With all who reach out to strangers and neighbours with your love and compassion.
Comfort and protect them in the midst of danger and of strife.
May we too be prompted to respond with love and compassion.
Until all find shelter in the embrace of your wings.
by Christine Sine
I hate it when the themes I choose for Godspace are God’s word for me personally. Talk about needing discernment!!!
When we chose Where does your soul long to do? I rather offhandedly wrote in my journal My soul longs for the centeredness of silence, the resilience of love and the strength of humility thinking as I wrote it: I long to be equipped with the strength and resilience of the Holy Spirit that enables me to be centre in the love of God and nourished my God’s presence within me. It sounded so spiritual! and my last week’s post reflected that.
Then on Wednesday Hilary told me that they will be moving in a couple of months. She and her family have lived in our upstairs apartment for three years and I feel I will be losing a good friend, a marvelous Godspace assistant and the community community she and her family have so vitally contributed to. I delight in the kids playing in the backyard and I am devastated by the thought of life without them. So not surprisingly my initial reaction was panic and the old feelings of loneliness and abandonment quickly raised their ugly heads.
So I sat down to regroup and refocus knowing that in times of transition, when the road is rocky and the path beneath my feet unstable, I need to check my foundations and strengthen them where necessary.
So I turned to my favorite centering prayer which is mounted on a canvas plaque on my desk, took a few deep breaths and began to pray, seeking to discern what God might be saying as I begin yet another transition in my life with lots of uncertainty and vulnerability – probably a much more realistic place to start discernment than the assurance and confidence I expressed last week.
Discerning As The Beloved of God
Once again it was Henri Nouwen who guided me in the right direction.
Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us God’s beloved. Being the beloved of God expresses the core truth of our existence (Nouwen 26)
As I reflected on this it occurred to me that my initial response to What does your soul long to do sounds more like a response to what does Christine Sine long to do? And I realized that this is more about What does my soul long for me to be.?
Now I need to really get down to the nitty gritty and ask what is the deep longing of my soul, a longing that cannot be disrupted by my insecurities and the place that question needs to being is with the assurance that I am indeed God’s beloved child, no matter what my failings are and no matter how uncertain I am of the path.
So this week I have started each day with the mantra You are beloved of God allowing the truth of this incredible statement to sink into my soul. The less confidence I have in this truth, the more vulnerable I am to being misled by my insecurities.
I have recited my mantra repeatedly throughout the day: while I walk our dog, while I process the incredible abundance from the garden and while I sit in the evenings savoring the beauty of God’s creation around me and the delight of companionship with my husband. I have opened myself to hear what God has to say about belovedness through the scriptures and have listened to other voices through which God is also speaking. I have pulled out one of my finger labyrinths and my sketching doodling journal (more about these tools in next week’s post) and spent time meditating.
The peace that has flooded my soul is incredible. The assurance of God’s love overwhelming. My delight in a new depth of closeness to God amazing.
Next Steps in Discerning
So I am framing some questions to continue guiding me through these next steps and I thought that some of you might appreciate my emerging process and what I am learning from it.
Who are you?
I am beloved of God, made in the Holy image, a child of the Sacred One, part of the eternal family.
How do you experience that belovedness?
This was one I pondered for quite a while before I came up with any kind of an answer and I know it is a question I need to ponder on a regular basis. What makes me aware that I am beloved by God?
The trouble is that there is no really tangible answer to this question.
I am aware that I am beloved by God when I make sure I set aside time each morning (at least 10 minutes) to sit quietly, breathe deeply of the fragrance of God’s presence and contemplate the wonder of who God is.
I am also aware that I am beloved by God when I take time throughout the day to pause and rest once more in the presence of God for a couple of minutes. The more frequently I do this, the more I am aware of my belovedness and the surrounding presence of God through every minute of the day. At the moment, not surprisingly this pause begins with reciting my mantra I am beloved of God. Sometimes it is changed to God knows all my failings but loves me still. This is an incredibly liberating process that opens me up to the abiding presence of God in every moment of the day.
I am aware that I am beloved by God when I read the scriptures that speak of belovedness – time to read through Song of Solomon again and refresh through my favorite psalms that speak of beloved.
I know that I am beloved by God when I read through the gospels and imagine that Jesus himself is present with me. These experiences are my experiences, his love for his disciples extends across time and space to me too. I was particularly reminded of John 13:2 “He (Jesus) had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end.” Jesus loves us too to the very end I thought.
Who walks with you on this journey?
We never walk alone on our journey towards God. We travel with a vast cloud of companions and witnesses, seen and unseen, present and departed, friends, family, colleagues, teachers, followers of Christ and those who suffer from the same uncertainty
One of the things that this current transition has made me aware of is that the Mustard Seed Associates staff and board were my support group and accountability group too.
Where is my current accountability group I have been wondering? I have made the establishing of this group a major priority. None of us move forward healthily without a good responsibility group and not establishing this immediately after resigning from Mustard Seed Associates has I feel been one of major failings.
There are others that walk with me on this journey however.
Who walks with you as companions I ask? There are my spiritual mentors of today whose books I have read and who have guided me through the example of their lives and expressions of faith – Parker Palmer, Norman Wirzba, Brenda Salter McNeil, Christine Valters Paintner and Walter Brueggemann are at the top of my list. There are friends, family and colleagues who are part of my life now, too many of them to name. There are those who read and respond to my blogging and writing. Their questions and comments continue to shape my journey.
Who are the witnesses from the past that stand beside me? There are those from the past – my ancestors, known and unknown, spiritual mentors whose books I read with great delight and challenge Henri Nouwen, John O’Donahue, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Rachel Held Evans. Looking further back the desert fathers and mothers, Celtic saints, and Julian of Norwich have all challenged and shaped me. And in the Bible so many stories tell of ordinary people whose extraordinary lives are inspiring guides for me.
As I discern and seek to better frame what my soul longs to do I realize that I need to allow these questions to frame who I am and where I sit now in God’s family and God’s creation first. Defining what my soul longs to do without a solid foundation just doesn’t work in the long run.
So let me end with the prayer that has bubbled up inside me this week… and be prepared for the next installment of this journey coming next week.
Do you see who you are?
Beloved of God
Made in the Holy image
A child of the sacred One,
Part of the eternal family.
Do you see what you are called to be?
Loved and loving,
Cared for and caring,
Forgiven and forgiving.
Do you hear the voice of God
Singing in the silence?
Love will overcome fear,
Joy is deeper than sorrow,
\Unity will break through division,
Life is stronger than death.
In honor of the Saint of Gardeners, St. Fiacre Day by Barry Jung —
In the most recent of the 17 years that I’ve lived on the Cambie Corridor in Vancouver, mid-century homes are being demolished and replaced with higher-density buildings. Within a block of us, a row of 6 storey condos will be completed by spring of next year. In another 5 years, the mega re-development of a nearby shopping mall will have towers as tall as 42 storeys. There’ll be over 6500 new residents moving into our neighbourhood.
Despite the uncertainties we have been facing in our neighbourhood the last few years and the drastic changes ahead, we continue to invest our time and resources into it. St. Fiacre, Patron Saint of Gardeners and Carriage(Taxi) Drivers would have been pleased that one of our investments in the neighbourhood is our garden, which also sees a fair bit of moving trucks, taxis and car-shares drive by. In the process of growing flowers and food, we are subverting Vancouver ‘s version of the Seattle Freeze by making connections and cultivating relationships.
Gardening out front has invited conversation and advice from our neighbours. It has also inspired our neighbours to plant their own gardens. The noise and dust of condo construction and volumes of traffic(36,000 vehicles/day) has not deterred us as we remain rooted in this place.
Our garden is for sharing. We share all kinds of vegetables, herbs and flowers. We’ve shared our freshly cut dahlias with strangers walking by and have observed sojourners taking selfies with our colourful sunflowers. Sharing the produce that comes from our garden leads to meaningful connections with our neighbours.
Our free little library out in our garden allows us to share not only books but include seeds, plants, and food from our garden.. It’s not just a vessel for us to offer what we have but it also gives opportunity for others to contribute herbs, potted plants, fresh figs , seeds from their gardens and notes of encouragement and appreciation. This has nurtured us in unexpected ways. Our relationship with our neighbours is not only giving but in the receiving.
In the book of Luke, Jesus talks about the harvest. “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.”
I have long interpreted this harvest metaphor as, “neighbours ripe to be brought into the Kingdom of God” and “saved”. Recently I’ve looked at this passage from a different perspective using the lens of a gardener. I see clearly that the bounty from a harvest nourishes me, sustains me, gives life to me. It’s Jesus that grows and produces the harvest. I don’t save the harvest and give it life. It’s the harvest that gives me life.
My experience of being in our front yard and engaging with a stranger – a neighbour. – through simple conversations and encounters enlivens me, animates me. My neighbours who are made in the image of God, they are giving me a more meaningful life, they are saving me. My interaction with them is transforming me to be more like Christ. And so I try to make myself more available and more present to the growing number of people in my neighbourhood.
Julie Canlis writes: There’s a sun-engraved sign made of wood scraps in the midst of our garden. It’s seen better days. It’s a reminder to me that God is at work. Growth, transformation, renewal, restoration and reconciliation are taking place. Seeds from plants and simple conversations that are sown in this garden will germinate and eventually grow to provide beauty, shade, fragrance and nourishment. An ecosystem of relationships will flourish. The sign is a testament of my presence in our neighbourhood – that we’re not moving, that we’re sticking it out. But more importantly it’s a signpost of God’s presence— a faithful presence that provides a glimpse of his Kingdom here in my block on Cambie Street as it is in heaven.
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”
As our burgeoning neighbourhood transforms into a city within a city, the humble garden plunked right in the middle of it brings to mind the image of the Garden City described in Revelation. I wonder and eagerly anticipate how my story on Cambie street will weave into the Master’s Story. His Story that starts with a garden in a place called Eden and eventually brings us to a City with a garden – A Garden city, a new Eden – where all Creation is healed and all it citizens will experience the fullness of God’s Shalom.
I have hope for our neighbourhood. I have hope for our city, I have hope for all of God’s Creation…. because a garden which has been planted, gives us HOPE to believe in tomorrow.
By Mark Buhling —
I won’t pretend to be an expert on Catholic saints, much less an expert on St. Fiacre of Breuil. My knowledge of St. Fiacre comes mostly from wikipedia. Honestly, I am writing this because of my interest in local, earth friendly food production, food sovereignty, food security and how these can be part of our spiritual conversations. To that end, I was intrigued by Christine Sine’s request for a word about St. Fiacre. Here is what I have discovered in my quick search:
St. Fiacre is the patron saint of, among others, gardners. St. Fiacre was a gardner, an herbalist, a healer, probably an abbot, and probably an introvert. Identifying St. Fiacre as an introvert is, of course, speculation, but it is informed speculation; informed by my own introvert tendencies. If he was an introvert, he was an introvert that often, but apparently not always, required himself to live in community. And not only live in community but to engage in community in such a way as to recognize the burdens of others and ease their suffering though his gift for healing.
Though I do not have the gift of healing, I am, like St. Fiacre, and I suspect, like many of you, a gardener and an introvert that chooses to engage in community. I help manage Englewood Community Farm in Missouri and our best days on the farm are when there is strong community engagement. Our best days on the farm are when we are planting or tending or harvesting together. It is on such days that the hard news of the world fades and the louder voices of beautiful community are ringing. It is on such days that our farm, our common place, our gathering place fully expresses its potential to bring people together. But some days I am gardening alone. Some days I am pulling weeds by myself
This season at the farm we planted a large area of sunflowers. The have grown well and are now well over seven feet tall. They are impressive and have drawn people to the farm. Many have stopped to see them, to come get a closer look, and we are thrilled that our little farm is drawing such attention. But right next to the sunflowers are a few rows of purple hull peas. They are hardly noticed, so low to the ground next to the sunflowers but this small patch is one of my favorite places on the farm this year. Many days this summer I have spent a quiet hour in that patch,enjoying the solitude, the sun, and the tug of war with the weeds (the weeds are winning). Even still, my new awareness of St. Fiacre has helped me appreciate the contrast between the attraction of the tall, bright sunflowers and the low and quiet pea patch. I see the value in both, but my inclination is toward the low and the quiet. My inclination is toward solitude.
It is said that St. Fiacre began his work in Ireland but moved to France looking for peace and quiet. Or as Patrick Duffy writes: “As crowds flocked to him because of his reputation for his holiness and cures, he sailed to France in search of greater solitude.” As he settled in France, he was given a space to plant. A plot on which to grow his herbs and his vegetables. I don’t know if he found all of the quiet he was looking for.
Shall we stop for a moment and absorb this lesson from St. Fiacre: some of us are more compelled by the sunflowers; that which is tall, colorful, and bright. Some of us are drawn closer to the earth, to the low and quiet. May the life of St Fiacre be our guide. May we recognize the need for both community and solitude. And always, may we listen for the whispers of the Spirit of God in our gardens informing us which of these we need each day.
- Patrick Duffy, “Aug 30 – St Fiacre (7th century) patron of gardeners and taxi-drivers” (30 August 2012)
Mark Buhlig is the director of Points on the Wheel, a non profit dedicated to making the world a better place and co pastor at Englewood Baptist Church in Gladstone, Missouri
A prayer by Alicia Dykstra —
Tomorrow (or September 1st for some) we celebrate St Fiacre who had a monastery in Ireland at Cill Fiachra (Kilferagh), Co Kilkenny, and later in France. He is the patron saint of gardeners and taxidrivers. He is also often invoked for healing of cancers and venereal diseases.
You took after the father
Working miracles in a garden
Growing herbs and flowers
Healing the cancers of this world
Seeking solitude digging soil
You heard divine revelations
And your soul was filled
A plenitude of blooms
Enough to serve others
Who came to you for help
The wisdom that comes
From being close to the earth
Getting dirt under your nails
Watching a garden up close
Throughout every season
As we continue to kick off our new Godspace theme, What does your soul long to do? below is a wonderful post by Britni D’Eliso —
I am not a particularly spontaneous person, much to the chagrin of my Enneagram Type 7 husband. I much prefer to plan, generally a few weeks out in advance, and if I’m feeling a bit reckless, maybe plan for a specific evening to “do something unplanned” (does that count?).
Not only does this often make life with two small children a bit frustrating at times, as their mood swings and bowel movements do not always cooperate with “the plan,” but it also makes for a life where adventure does not come easy. When I fill my schedule with lunch dates and house projects, I’m not often flexible for spur of the moment opportunities that might prompt an exciting venture into the unknown. I can find myself living a fairly quiet, controlled life, which generally suits me just fine.
It does, however, make it difficult to write a blog post about Adventuring.
I have had numerous thrilling experiences throughout my life–while traveling, raising babies, and ministering on city streets; but what I am seeking in this season is how to see adventure in the mundane. Can quiet self-reflection and faithfulness in the small things provide experience that still falls within the category of adventure?
I turned 30 this year, and in honor of transitioning into a new decade, I have committed myself to increased understanding about myself and the way I navigate this world. Though it has been mostly quiet work, interwoven throughout the menial tasks of my work life and home life, it has most certainly been an adventure of discovery and insight. Just as God has handcrafted masterpieces of mountain peaks and endless waves for me to explore in nature, he has intricately woven me together in my mother’s womb. There are endless caverns and meadows and mountaintops within our own internal selves, that he has created within us–begging to be explored.
When meeting with my spiritual director recently, God used her to confirm to me that this work of earnest self-discovery is not only worthwhile, but functions as a form of worship and a spiritual practice. Intentionally seeking out how God created me to engage with others, and how he wired me to uniquely interact with him is a sacred way to honor him and his work in me.
As I plan out our week of grocery trips, daycare and house cleaning, I can be aware of the activity happening within me. I can tune into how my mind makes sense of what is around me and how my heart is pulled and I can see God’s handiwork within each small detail. There is an adventure to be had in the quiet spaces, beneath the surface, and God is inviting us to enter in.
Psalm 139:1-16
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
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