guest post by Diane Gagné, originally translated from and posted in French here
I know nothing.
No, actually, I don’t know anything anymore.
Because for a long time, yes, I thought I knew. I thought I understood.
In fact, I was clinging desperately to knowledge… dressing up in knowledge like a costume. It was my greatest protection mechanism, my greatest bulwark against this world that frightened me so much.
Until EVERYTHING collapsed. All the psychological structure, all my certainties in what I believed was “me.” Seeking to understand what was happening, I did what I knew best: I read. I stuffed myself with new knowledge. Spiritual knowledge. I tried to understand the path on which I had just fallen despite me. I consulted, listened, followed training courses, met masters.
But at last, I lost interest too. Lost interest in explanations, recipes, lessons, and all those people (who are legion now), telling you how to be happy, how to breathe, to meditate. Explaining to you the effects of the next moon on your moods or telling you what realization or enlightenment is.
The thrill is gone…
So much, that I came to wonder why I kept doing the same.
Why would I continue to be « a Presence on your path to Realization »? Pure Consciousness of Being. Pffffff…
At one point, I realized how this is all so ridiculous! How I was a kind of impostor in that same illusionary «freak show». Yet, at the same time, I saw how perfectly correct all of this IS. How beautiful is this freak show…
Because between this and that, there’s the happy in-between.
When we think we understand, action emerges. It is born from this will; to share knowledge with others. But when we realize there’s nothing to understand, just simply be what we are, what brings one to act? To do?
Where is the middle ground between doing and being?
I fell in this kind of no man’s land for a while. I kept coming back to this NOTHING. This nothing I know, this nothing I am…
The will to share fell apart. For a while.
Continually reminding myself « I know NOTHING ».
I am. That’s it.
I sank deeper and deeper. And then… Life rushed again. More powerful than ever! And I realized… I am also Life! A peaceful form of life, sheltering enough love to embrace all the suffering of humanity. Probably because I’ve been through so much myself…
I don’t know.
But I know this: When I turned to my heart and felt so deep inside me all the welcoming capacity it contained, Life suddenly took me in its arms, kissed me, and pushed me gently on the back, whispering in my ear: « Go! Share! »
Since then, I share. Share a bit of what I am. Of what it is, in each wonderful moment of Life. It’s not much, but it’s something. It’s not more, but it’s not less than all the rest.
It’s joyful, it doesn’t take itself seriously and it loves life. So much!
And maybe « that », in a world filled with all sorts of illusory fears, is worth sharing? Perhaps just as much as all the great Advaita, Non-Dual, Zen, Buddhist, Christian teachings? Maybe as far as any of these modern spiritual amalgams abounding, it deserves to be expressed? Maybe, it’s important to remind that rather than finding explanations for the why of things, we can simply begin to accept, to welcome within us, and simply LOVE?
A bit more each day…
Love this world as it is. With all our great opinions and our great certainties.
As we are… With all our strengths but also all our weakness. With the doubts remaining and this uncertainty specific to Life.
Maybe I am enough « good » or « ready », to share the backstory which has been told for so many years? How this one ended, giving birth to this joy, living in me now and this love of Life carrying me and pushing me to share itself?
I profoundly feel I must keep faith that there are people out there, somewhere, who need to hear that Life is beautiful. That suffering should not be fought, any more than anything else. To hear that we have in our hearts a Love concealing a power allowing us to welcome EVERYTHING of Life.
I have no clear answer when a doubt emerges about that need to share. Just a profound momentum of Life to go on. I accept to not know with certainty, in this world where everyone seems to want to do the same as me as soon as they have touched their truth. Some might say « go on, it’s the continuation of your path ». But, if I could agree with this at the beginning 8 years ago, I don’t feel it this way anymore… I don’t feel that I’m walking a path, but rather that it’s the path that opens in front of me. More and more widely.
But it’s just a feeling, I know. For the rest… I don’t know… I know nothing at all! I simply live.
I’m returning to a kind of « oblivion », allowing me the wonderful peace to ask myself less and less questions and stay with the Silence. So, I’m just trying to live the life that was given to me as best as I can. With all the love of which I am capable.
No, really, I don’t know anything. So, I have nothing to teach. No certainty to bring. Just a Life to share, and so much love to welcome the Life that you are.
They say that knowledge liberates…
Really???
I think it’s Love.
Diane Gagné is an author and speaker. Her focus is a state of peace, deep bliss, and boundless love for the sacred meaning of Life. She doesn’t teach any particular tradition, although she was profoundly influenced by non-dual approaches and Christianity. A former lawyer of 25 years in the northern Canadian town of Rouyn-Noranda, Diane channels her deep life experiences on the roller coaster of the soul into the new Reality she has found. You can find her writings here, in her mother tongue as well as translated into English.
Looking for some inspiration? Consider one of our courses! Most offer 180 days of access, perfect for working through a virtual retreat at your own pace. You can find them all right here! And did you know? We offer discounts if you have purchased a course or virtual retreat from us before or are buying for a group. Email us before check-out for the code!
As you may know if you have read a previous blog of mine, we have a new garden. I suspect this garden will have many lessons to teach me, some of which no doubt will be more easily learnt or welcome than others. It will be transformed in time, but before it becomes even a fraction of what it could be, what we hope it can be, there is a lot of work to be done.
Some of this labour involves removing things, cutting away at what is dead – where there was once life, but now there is no more. To grow new things, for colour to come again, space needs to be created. I find it difficult to cut down shrubs and plants in this extreme way – it is very different from pruning where I know the apparent wound will lead to new growth – the kind Jesus warned us was a part of the life of faith.
So as I cut way the old growth – again and again, trying not to think of what the plant once was – I reflected how apt this was at a time of my life following retirement from a church community I loved and a major move, things had – have – felt a little adrift. This is not to minimise the beauty of where I now live or – most importantly – that the move was family-driven, and they are more precious than I can say. But spiritually it felt like a time of Lent, even before the season arrived.
In the end, all the bush was cut away. Just the root to remove. But it simply would not be budged. I tried everything, all the usual tricks a gardener possesses. Nothing worked. This root simply refused to be extricated from the soil. Stubbornly, it was determined to remain.
So I stopped, and looked. Perhaps rather than a problem to be removed it was a message to be heard. And I heard a gentle voice remind me that, for me as well as this corner of the garden, even though everything might be stripped away, there is a root there, which goes very deep, held firm in the soil of the love of God. Some things are solid, even when all else seems to have been lost.
In time, of course, I will need to remove that root. But by then the garden, and the Gardener, will have something new to show me.
Join Christine Sine and Lilly Lewin on Wednesday, March 23rd 2022 at 9 am PT (check my timezone) for our next FB Live happening on our Godspace Light Community Facebook Group! Can’t make it? No worries–we upload the sessions on our youtube channel so you can still enjoy the lively discussions and interesting topics. And catch us live for the next session–happening here!
Today’s service is a beautiful service of prayer for Ukraine including a song adapted from a prayer by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
A contemplative service with music in the spirit of Taize. Carrie Grace Littauer, prayer leader, with music by Kester Limner and Andy Myers.
Permission to podcast/stream the music in this service obtained from One License with license #A-710-756 with additional notes below:
“Bring Your Peace”, “The Law of God is Love”
Words and music by Kester Limner, shared under the Creative Commons License, Attribution (CC-BY)
“Nada Te Turbe”
Copyright and all rights reserved by GIA/Les Presses de Taizé
“Aber Du Weisst”
Adapted from a prayer by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, music by Taizé
Copyright and all rights reserved by GIA/Les Presses de Taizé
Thank you for praying with us!
The prayer above is my Ash Wednesday prayer for this year. It is really a prayer for the whole of Lent. The image is created from ashes from my mask specifically burnt for Ash Wednesday. Both flow out of the depth of pain in my heart as I watch the war unfolding in Ukraine. A sickness settles in my stomach. Images of Ukrainians praying in the streets fill my mind as I watch a nation struggling to maintain its independence while one man seeks to re-write its story. The thrust for power does terrible things to people and I am reminded of how Jesus did not seek after power but after justice. He did not incite war and violence but cried out for peace. How do we help bring that into being during this Lenten season?
It’s a struggling time this beginning of Lent and I struggle more than anything with my chosen theme for the season “Finding Beauty in the Ashes of Lent.” At the moment it is hard to see beauty in the ashes of the war in Ukraine, but then I look more closely and become aware of new life pushing up through the concrete. I see a courageous leader fighting beside his people. I see Ukrainians praying in the streets and in the subways and the churches. And I see them joined by people around the world not just praying but taking action through sanctions that will require sacrifices for all of us. Higher gas prices and food prices too.
Then I read Howard Thurman’s Meditations of the Heart which is one of my chosen readings for this season.
The efficacy of the prayer is often measured by the degree to which the individual is willing to become involved in actually working in the world to meet these needs. A man may share in his prayer his concern for peace, and yet, in his own little world and yet in his own little world, be unwilling to change his private attitude of antagonism or prejudice toward his fellows. Obviously such prayer would be meaningless. (Meditations of the Heart 26)
So as Lent begins I ask myself: how will I help meet the needs of those made vulnerable by the war. I have been researching the organizations we have supported in the past to see which will be most effective in the relief efforts – not just for those still in Ukraine but also for the hundreds of thousands fleeing the country. World Vision and World Relief come to mind but I am sure there are others I will think of in the future. I want to be open to help financially wherever we are able. That is a small way in which we can contribute to the creation of beauty in the midst of ashes.
Then I think – we are financially secure at the moment and able to absorb the higher gas and food prices, but there are so many in my own neighborhood who are not able to. I wonder, are there people I should buy a tank of gas for each week? Or a bag of groceries? Perhaps my support of the local food bank and my church’s discretionary fund which goes to vulnerable and needy people is another way that I can stand against the war in Ukraine. Perhaps this is one way that I can create beauty in the midst of the ashes too.
Maybe it requires a change of attitude too. I resent the higher gas and food prices. I want to complain about them. We are used to cheap food and cheap gas, and resent increases in prices. Maybe absorbing these increases without complaint is one way I can bring a little bit of beauty in the midst of the ashes too.
Last week, Lilly and I facilitated a wonderful virtual Lenten retreat Finding Beauty in the Ashes of Lent. It was therapeutic and renewing. Its theme seems even more important this week and I really do encourage you to take advantage of its availability now as an online course. We all need the renewal that creating beauty out of ashes can give us, and the journey through Lent is one way to find that. I hope you will join us in the journey.
Prayerfully consider one way that you could help create beauty out of the ashes of the war and of other situations where people are particularly vulnerable. What is God nudging you to do as you begin this journey through Lent?
by Melissa Taft
Lent marks an intentional journey to the glorious joy of Easter – one that is marked often with contemplation and prayer. It begins with Ash Wednesday: literal ashes smeared on foreheads, a marking of grief and beginnings/endings. As Christine wrote in her Meditation Monday Rise from the Ashes, “This year it seems this practice has added significance as we already feel we have ashes not just on our foreheads, but in our mouths. To the lament of COVID, economic injustice, and climate change, we have added the ashes of war in Ukraine. It is a difficult time and we all feel a heavy weight as we head into Lent.”
Yet, Lent is a journey towards joy, towards redemption – a journey that can and must be marked by Easter’s celebration. How do we find beauty among the ashes of Lent? How do we find what we are longing for this Lenten season? What are we looking forward to about Easter?
In their most recent virtual retreat, Christine Sine and Lilly Lewin unpacked what it means to lay out your garment of lament and put on a garment of praise. Journey with Christin, Lilly, and other retreat participants to lay down grief and gather joy through artful activities, quiet contemplation, scripture, inspirational reflections, and more – we are now offering this retreat as a course!
Adapted from the live retreat, the course includes downloadable resources and activities, a handout complete with coloring pages, activities, resources, and all the things you need to follow along, 4 module videos that are in bite-size chunks to work through at your own pace, and more. Here are a few of the comments from participants:
“Thank you both for rich, meaningful ideas and today’s shared hours of exploration.” – Laurie Klein, participant
“Many thanks to you both, Christine and Lily, for leading this lovely retreat this evening. I’ve really appreciated it and felt the Presence of the Lord very much during our time together. I’m not creative in the sense of painting and drawing but still found those times immensely powerful.” – Penelope Swithinbank, participant
A number of our participants used their ashes to create beautiful art pieces in eluding this from Godspace author June Friesen:
Ashes into Beauty by June Friesen
Click here to get started!
by Diane Woodrow, originally posted here
I don’t know about you but when someone points something out you start to notice it more. In Godspace for this season they are talking about Finding Beauty in Ashes during the Lenten season and so when I went on my walk yesterday I was drawn to noticing beauty in ashes.
This tree was one of three conifer trees that were standing in a row until Storm Arwen passed by towards the end of 2021. All three went down. I presume that the furthest one fell and then pushed the other two over with the force of its falling and the wind behind it. How often does that happen – that something or someone starts to slide and takes others down with them who are close by? Also with trees, their roots are intertwined so they can communicate with each other so all it needs is one lot of roots to come out and they will take others with them. Again another interesting comparison with our lives. Though also people or trees standing strong can help to keep each other up when storms come.
What fascinates me here is the little beetle hole in the centre of the tree. Now this would not have been visible when all the trees were standing and can only be fully seen because of where the chain saw has passed through. I’m not a naturalist so could not tell you what creature lived there and is now homeless but I can see something was there. And to me that is the beauty.
The beauty is the amazingness of this creature to burrow through the bark, find the right spot and make its home. But we can only get to see it because of the storm.
I wonder how often beauty is hidden or that we are too busy rushing on past to notice. I only noticed this because I was on a “writing walk” which means that I walk slower, notice things, jot them in my notebook, and like with this, photograph them. Generally I am rushing on past with collar turned up to get back home again.
I believe that too often we can only find beauty in ashes if we slow down and take the time to look at the ashes. And like with our hurts and things that have happened to us, we do only see the beauty in the pain, the hurt, the ashes, if we take time to look closely, to look properly. To have time and not to be rushing on to the next thing, to be not trying to hide from the “ashes” but to just see the beauty and be grateful.
In this season of Lent, Wonder can be a healthy tool of contemplation, leading from heaviness to light. Find a prayer focus with this bundle – combining the Gift of Wonder book with the Gift of Wonder prayer cards. Click here for more info!
The World Day of Prayer invokes images of Christians worldwide, taking time to pray not only for their own country, family, and desires; but for all humankind. God’s family. God’s world. God’s desires.
This year’s theme is taken from Jeremiah 29:11. “I know the plans I have for you…” We will no doubt be forgiven if our immediate response is “Care to share?”
When I began fashioning this post, I was considering what to say when so much of the world is experiencing challenges that seem never-ending. We are, hopefully, seeing the pandemic coming under control after two years of hardships for the world, with regard to jobs, finances, and loss of loved ones, numbering 434,006,158 worldwide at this writing.
Hatred, racism and violence has been on the rise, relentlessly hammering at Martin Luther King Jr. and Viktor Frankl’s hopeful dreams.
And now, as the post was resting, awaiting final edit, Russia invades Ukraine. The world struggles with the images of invading troops under Putin and the brave Ukrainians stalwartly defending their homeland. The world desperately ponders the delicate balance between helping Ukraine, under current rules and actions that most certainly would cause an entry into World War III.
How, in current events, are we to process the Lord’s declaration that he knows the plans he has for us? Taking the phrase out of context, some cry: “Why God, why? When God, when?” Taken in context, we see a call to faith.
Just before the text of the theme, Jeremiah tells us “8… the God of Israel, says: “Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 29:8-9 NIV)
How are we to know the difference? Who is the truthteller, when we live in an era where truth seems to be, at times, in short supply? We have loving families divided by politics, where all have at one time or another claimed God is on their side.
Jeremiah completes the theme of verse 11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Those with an image of God as tooth fairy, see this as giving over their blueprint, their wish list, for God to fulfill. However, this is not what is said. God has plans. What’s more, he is addressing those who will have to endure 70 years of hardship and grow where he has planted them during that time. One more thing.
“12Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” (Jeremiah 29:12-14 NIV)
There it is. In the most difficult and chaotic time of life, God’s people are to seek him wholeheartedly. It is not that God needs to find us. We need to find him. It is his desire to gather all nations – this world, his world – together. The kicker in all of this is that scholars do not agree on the 70 years. Actual chronological time. Just a long time. Seventy is considered a sacred number comprised of seven, seen as representing perfection, and ten, representing completeness and God’s law.
We are clock watchers. How soon? How long? What day? What time? God’s time is more here and now. He calls us to join him in this present day and circumstance.
On this World Day of Prayer may we fall to our knees and pray for our sisters and brothers around the world. Let us not focus on when this will all end. Let our prayers be for God’s will for his world to be realized. Let it truly begin with us. Let us seek his order for our days and guidance for how we might help our fellow citizens of his world in small ways each day. Let us pray that we may not be drummed into submission by false prophets and naysayers. Let us pray for world peace and God’s people to look to him, in faith: to gain the strength needed for all difficult times.
Father God, help us to be the people you created us to be. That we may hold on in faith, stand up to injustice in your strength. May we know this is your world along with every individual and land within it. Grant us a supernatural faith from which we might be encouraged and with which we might encourage others. Amen.
Journey through Lent with this downloadable bundle featuring Prayer Cards, 40 Daily Ideas Guide for Lent, and our Lenten devotional – A Journey Into Wholeness: Soul Travel from Lent to Easter. Bundled together for convenience and savings!
As an Amazon Associate, I receive a small amount for purchases made through appropriate links.
Thank you for supporting Godspace in this way.
When referencing or quoting Godspace Light, please be sure to include the Author (Christine Sine unless otherwise noted), the Title of the article or resource, the Source link where appropriate, and ©Godspacelight.com. Thank you!