photos and writings by June Friesen
Reaching Upwards
When all seems dark,
When all seems hopeless,
When all seems barren,
When all seems forgotten…..
What is there one wonders?
What future is there?
What more can one try?
What more can one pray?
Brokenness abounds,
Bringing fears and tears,
Bringing one not only to their knees,
But prostrate before God empty.
As I lay motionless,
The sobs so deep only the Spirit knows,
The body is as if it is without life,
The Spirit prays from the depths within.
I lay……
I wait……
I feel……..
Ah……..
A flicker of warmth reaches towards me,
A whisper of peace is offered,
A touch of gentle care is so real,
A presence – no – A PRESENCE –
I feel my breath coming back into me –
I sense a warmth flowing through my being –
I am beginning to hear the whisper –
“My child, I am here.”
This photo was taken hours before the invasion of Ukraine … the following morning as I was looking through my photos of the skies I was immediately attracted to the one tree, totally void of leaves reaching as into the clouds, almost as if it was wanting to touch the sunlight but was a bit off to the side … yet reaching none the less believing that the Creator cared … even in its barrenness. I found myself thinking of times in the Scriptures when the sun is mentioned and particularly bringing with it a sense of hope. I share with you from Matthew and Malachi from the New Living Translation:
Matthew 4:12-17 When Jesus got word that John had been arrested, he returned to Galilee. He moved from his hometown, Nazareth, to the lakeside village Capernaum, nestled at the base of the Zebulun and Naphtali hills. This move completed Isaiah’s revelation:
Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali, road to the sea, over Jordan,
Galilee, crossroads for the nations.
People sitting out their lives in the dark saw a huge light;
Sitting in that dark, dark country of death, they watched the sun come up.
This Isaiah-prophesied revelation came to life in Galilee the moment Jesus started preaching. He picked up where John left off: “Change your life. God’s kingdom is here.”
Malachi 4:2 The sun of righteousness will dawn on those who honor my name, healing radiating from its wings. You will be bursting with energy, like colts frisky and frolicking.
Every day each of us finds ourselves in need of God’s presence – sometimes one is more aware of that need than others and sometimes one is more aware of His presence than other times. Depending on the struggles, the issues, the concerns that one is facing, a family member or friend may be facing or our country or world is facing, we need the reminder(s) that God is indeed present and He is concerned. I find the words in these verses encouraging as well as comforting. John the Baptist was telling the people around him that there was indeed a ‘Light’ coming – one that was going to bring the promised hope and light talked about by the prophets in the Old Testament. As I listen/read the words of Jesus – “Change your life … God’s kingdom is here” and then read Malachi 4:2 – “how the sun of righteousness will dawn on those who honor my name, healing radiating from its wings. You will be bursting with energy, like colts frisky and frolicking,” then another photo from a few years ago comes to mind.
Here you have a palm tree just after a rainstorm, the wind still blowing and the sun is beginning to shine once again. And even though it is a still life photo the fronds were dancing in the sunlight and the sparkles of the water glistened with new life. Yes, as one comes and sits with God in the storms of life, there is so much that happens. There are so many feelings that come to the front of our minds. Sometimes they may be feelings one has never experienced before. Maybe they are feelings one does not want to feel or maybe admit that one feels. Again, I am reminded of some more words of Jesus – an invitation to each one of us in Matthew 11:28 (New Living Translation):
Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
What burden(s) are you carrying today? How can you allow Jesus to help you carry your burden today? Sometimes I find that it is not only helpful to share it with Jesus in prayer; sometimes I find it necessary to ask someone else to also pray with me through the situation. Again, a verse comes to my mind Galatians 6:2 from the Amplified reads: “Carry one another’s burdens and in this way, you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love].” God created us to live together in community with each other. This is how we can stand strong as the trees do in the storms of life – as things come into our lives that cause us pain, fear, loss, etc., we help each other. Have you ever wondered why Jesus had the disciples with Him so much of the time? Yes, it was so that He could teach them the new covenant as well as have them be witnesses to His death and resurrection – but I also believe that it was helpful to Him at times. Thinking of the last hours of Jesus’ life before the crucifixion – He could have gone off by Himself – but instead, He chose to eat one last meal with the disciples and them invited them to come to the Garden of Gethsemane afterward. Even though one may want to judge the disciples for their lack of praying and their fear when the arrest happened, I believe that it was helpful to Jesus to know that they were aware of what was happening.
What is it today that you need to have Jesus help you with or through? Maybe you feel like a tree, stripped of its leaves and barren and cold? Find a nice warm blanket, wrap yourself in it, pull it tight and rest in God’s hug for you right now. He loves you. He is holding you. He is praying for you. YOU ARE LOVED! Amen.
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I am working with two themes this Lenten season 1. Experiencing Beauty instead of Ashes (Isaiah 61) and 2. Experiencing the Love of God
Daily, I am watching for signs of BEAUTY… new leaves on the shrubs and trees, daffodils on the roadside, the laughter and giggles of a one-year-old. This truly takes some practice as the news in Ukraine gets worse by the day and there is mass flooding in Australia, etc. In order to find beauty we have to practice looking for it!
sunset out of ” ashes”
I am also taking the time to acknowledge all the ashes of the last few years…writing them down, journaling about them, and then ripping the papers into pieces to create something beautiful in art. As I created the piece above, I realized that the sunsets are more beautiful when there is smoke in the air….the only positive of the wildfires.
wrapped in love
This week I’ve been setting the timer on my phone and sitting wrapped in a blanket as a symbol of the love of Jesus being wrapped around me. I talked about this as a practice in last week’s freerangefriday. I have discovered I tend to pray for others rather than just BEING present to Jesus and his love. I grab a heart-shaped rock with the word gratitude on it and hold it in my hand to help me focus. I breathe in I AM LOVED. I breathe out my fear. I picture Jesus smiling at me and the tears flow. I write this down…
In the middle of my ashes, YOU are there.
In the middle of my ashes, YOU still love me!
Right Here, as I am.
Ashes and Tears
Surrounded by Light, YOUR Light
Surrounded by YOU
God of LOVE!
I need this reminder every day!
How would our life be lived differently if we truly believed we are loved by God? And that God knows us inside & out…
God knows the good, the bad and the ugly pieces of who we are and God loves us still and longs to be with us!
Julian of Norwich said that “we are not just made by God, we are made of God.” And “For we are so preciously loved by God that we cannot even comprehend”
I long to live in this love!
Take time this weekend to watch for beauty. Take time to create something from the ashes, take some photos of a sunset, bake some cookies, play outside. Take time to laugh! Laughter is healing and beautiful! Take time to sit in the love of Jesus!
#beautyheals
©lillylewin and freerangeworship.com
If you’d like help processing the ashes of the last few years, take time to do the on line retreat, or the healing course Both involve hands-on activities and art.
Now available as an online course, this virtual retreat will help you to lay out your garment of lament and put on your garment of praise. Gather your joys and release your grief with Christine Sine and Lilly Lewin! Click here for more info!
by Barbie Perks
There’s a popular TV reality show in Britain, as well as an off-shoot produced in South Africa – and possibly in other countries – called “Come Dine with Me.” Supposedly, it’s about sharing fine dining experiences in your home with random strangers, but in reality, it’s all about criticising the host/hostess, the other guests, the home, the meal, and generally behaving badly, while competing to win the coveted cash prize at the end of the week.
However, there’s another invitation to “come dine with Me” found in Scripture that I have been pondering this last week. “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20
It strikes me that I am not quite sure what this statement actually means. It’s not quite the same as issuing an invitation to a friend to come round for lunch, where you prepare the meal, answer the knock at the door and sit down together for a pleasant hour or so. This is Jesus! Just pitching up and saying, “I’m here, invite me in! Let’s eat together.”
There seems to be an element of surprise, an unexpected encounter – this knock on the door that comes and disturbs me. Do I answer it? Do I just ignore it? (I am sure we all have those moments when we pretend we’re not at home!) And then, there’s that “if” – if anyone hears – if anyone opens the door – oh, that IF is so big, so telling! Do I want to hear his voice, do I want to open the door? Do I want to spend precious time with him? Or am I delighted, do I throw the door wide open and shout out “Come in, come in!”
The meal – oh dear, he wants to eat with me, and he wants me to eat with him. What does that mean? This is where I panic a bit, I suppose, just like Martha did in Luke 10:38-42 when she opened her home to Jesus. She was trying to cook a meal for him, but he said basically that listening to him was the better thing to do. So it isn’t a physical meal that Jesus is talking about, is it? When his disciples urged him to eat after his encounter with the Samaritan woman, he said “I have food to eat that you know nothing about – My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.” John 4:32-34
I think there’s a clue in Matthew 4:4: “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” The meal that Jesus wants to share with me is just the time to sit together and read, listen and digest the word of God.
The last year has been a very trying year for me personally, and I admit to having fasted a bit – more than a bit, if I am to be totally honest with myself! Fasted from fellowship, from church attendance, from Bible study, from personal quiet times. Maybe that is why this invitation to dine with Jesus is so precious to me.
Lent is upon us – the season of preparation for the gift of Jesus, the bread of Life (John 6:35-58). Instead of fasting this year, I am going to feast!!
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guest post by Diane Gagné, originally translated from and posted in French here
I know nothing.
No, actually, I don’t know anything anymore.
Because for a long time, yes, I thought I knew. I thought I understood.
In fact, I was clinging desperately to knowledge… dressing up in knowledge like a costume. It was my greatest protection mechanism, my greatest bulwark against this world that frightened me so much.
Until EVERYTHING collapsed. All the psychological structure, all my certainties in what I believed was “me.” Seeking to understand what was happening, I did what I knew best: I read. I stuffed myself with new knowledge. Spiritual knowledge. I tried to understand the path on which I had just fallen despite me. I consulted, listened, followed training courses, met masters.
But at last, I lost interest too. Lost interest in explanations, recipes, lessons, and all those people (who are legion now), telling you how to be happy, how to breathe, to meditate. Explaining to you the effects of the next moon on your moods or telling you what realization or enlightenment is.
The thrill is gone…
So much, that I came to wonder why I kept doing the same.
Why would I continue to be « a Presence on your path to Realization »? Pure Consciousness of Being. Pffffff…
At one point, I realized how this is all so ridiculous! How I was a kind of impostor in that same illusionary «freak show». Yet, at the same time, I saw how perfectly correct all of this IS. How beautiful is this freak show…
Because between this and that, there’s the happy in-between.
When we think we understand, action emerges. It is born from this will; to share knowledge with others. But when we realize there’s nothing to understand, just simply be what we are, what brings one to act? To do?
Where is the middle ground between doing and being?
I fell in this kind of no man’s land for a while. I kept coming back to this NOTHING. This nothing I know, this nothing I am…
The will to share fell apart. For a while.
Continually reminding myself « I know NOTHING ».
I am. That’s it.
I sank deeper and deeper. And then… Life rushed again. More powerful than ever! And I realized… I am also Life! A peaceful form of life, sheltering enough love to embrace all the suffering of humanity. Probably because I’ve been through so much myself…
I don’t know.
But I know this: When I turned to my heart and felt so deep inside me all the welcoming capacity it contained, Life suddenly took me in its arms, kissed me, and pushed me gently on the back, whispering in my ear: « Go! Share! »
Since then, I share. Share a bit of what I am. Of what it is, in each wonderful moment of Life. It’s not much, but it’s something. It’s not more, but it’s not less than all the rest.
It’s joyful, it doesn’t take itself seriously and it loves life. So much!
And maybe « that », in a world filled with all sorts of illusory fears, is worth sharing? Perhaps just as much as all the great Advaita, Non-Dual, Zen, Buddhist, Christian teachings? Maybe as far as any of these modern spiritual amalgams abounding, it deserves to be expressed? Maybe, it’s important to remind that rather than finding explanations for the why of things, we can simply begin to accept, to welcome within us, and simply LOVE?
A bit more each day…
Love this world as it is. With all our great opinions and our great certainties.
As we are… With all our strengths but also all our weakness. With the doubts remaining and this uncertainty specific to Life.
Maybe I am enough « good » or « ready », to share the backstory which has been told for so many years? How this one ended, giving birth to this joy, living in me now and this love of Life carrying me and pushing me to share itself?
I profoundly feel I must keep faith that there are people out there, somewhere, who need to hear that Life is beautiful. That suffering should not be fought, any more than anything else. To hear that we have in our hearts a Love concealing a power allowing us to welcome EVERYTHING of Life.
I have no clear answer when a doubt emerges about that need to share. Just a profound momentum of Life to go on. I accept to not know with certainty, in this world where everyone seems to want to do the same as me as soon as they have touched their truth. Some might say « go on, it’s the continuation of your path ». But, if I could agree with this at the beginning 8 years ago, I don’t feel it this way anymore… I don’t feel that I’m walking a path, but rather that it’s the path that opens in front of me. More and more widely.
But it’s just a feeling, I know. For the rest… I don’t know… I know nothing at all! I simply live.
I’m returning to a kind of « oblivion », allowing me the wonderful peace to ask myself less and less questions and stay with the Silence. So, I’m just trying to live the life that was given to me as best as I can. With all the love of which I am capable.
No, really, I don’t know anything. So, I have nothing to teach. No certainty to bring. Just a Life to share, and so much love to welcome the Life that you are.
They say that knowledge liberates…
Really???
I think it’s Love.
Diane Gagné is an author and speaker. Her focus is a state of peace, deep bliss, and boundless love for the sacred meaning of Life. She doesn’t teach any particular tradition, although she was profoundly influenced by non-dual approaches and Christianity. A former lawyer of 25 years in the northern Canadian town of Rouyn-Noranda, Diane channels her deep life experiences on the roller coaster of the soul into the new Reality she has found. You can find her writings here, in her mother tongue as well as translated into English.
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As you may know if you have read a previous blog of mine, we have a new garden. I suspect this garden will have many lessons to teach me, some of which no doubt will be more easily learnt or welcome than others. It will be transformed in time, but before it becomes even a fraction of what it could be, what we hope it can be, there is a lot of work to be done.
Some of this labour involves removing things, cutting away at what is dead – where there was once life, but now there is no more. To grow new things, for colour to come again, space needs to be created. I find it difficult to cut down shrubs and plants in this extreme way – it is very different from pruning where I know the apparent wound will lead to new growth – the kind Jesus warned us was a part of the life of faith.
So as I cut way the old growth – again and again, trying not to think of what the plant once was – I reflected how apt this was at a time of my life following retirement from a church community I loved and a major move, things had – have – felt a little adrift. This is not to minimise the beauty of where I now live or – most importantly – that the move was family-driven, and they are more precious than I can say. But spiritually it felt like a time of Lent, even before the season arrived.
In the end, all the bush was cut away. Just the root to remove. But it simply would not be budged. I tried everything, all the usual tricks a gardener possesses. Nothing worked. This root simply refused to be extricated from the soil. Stubbornly, it was determined to remain.
So I stopped, and looked. Perhaps rather than a problem to be removed it was a message to be heard. And I heard a gentle voice remind me that, for me as well as this corner of the garden, even though everything might be stripped away, there is a root there, which goes very deep, held firm in the soil of the love of God. Some things are solid, even when all else seems to have been lost.
In time, of course, I will need to remove that root. But by then the garden, and the Gardener, will have something new to show me.
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Today’s service is a beautiful service of prayer for Ukraine including a song adapted from a prayer by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
A contemplative service with music in the spirit of Taize. Carrie Grace Littauer, prayer leader, with music by Kester Limner and Andy Myers.
Permission to podcast/stream the music in this service obtained from One License with license #A-710-756 with additional notes below:
“Bring Your Peace”, “The Law of God is Love”
Words and music by Kester Limner, shared under the Creative Commons License, Attribution (CC-BY)
“Nada Te Turbe”
Copyright and all rights reserved by GIA/Les Presses de Taizé
“Aber Du Weisst”
Adapted from a prayer by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, music by Taizé
Copyright and all rights reserved by GIA/Les Presses de Taizé
Thank you for praying with us!
The prayer above is my Ash Wednesday prayer for this year. It is really a prayer for the whole of Lent. The image is created from ashes from my mask specifically burnt for Ash Wednesday. Both flow out of the depth of pain in my heart as I watch the war unfolding in Ukraine. A sickness settles in my stomach. Images of Ukrainians praying in the streets fill my mind as I watch a nation struggling to maintain its independence while one man seeks to re-write its story. The thrust for power does terrible things to people and I am reminded of how Jesus did not seek after power but after justice. He did not incite war and violence but cried out for peace. How do we help bring that into being during this Lenten season?
It’s a struggling time this beginning of Lent and I struggle more than anything with my chosen theme for the season “Finding Beauty in the Ashes of Lent.” At the moment it is hard to see beauty in the ashes of the war in Ukraine, but then I look more closely and become aware of new life pushing up through the concrete. I see a courageous leader fighting beside his people. I see Ukrainians praying in the streets and in the subways and the churches. And I see them joined by people around the world not just praying but taking action through sanctions that will require sacrifices for all of us. Higher gas prices and food prices too.
Then I read Howard Thurman’s Meditations of the Heart which is one of my chosen readings for this season.
The efficacy of the prayer is often measured by the degree to which the individual is willing to become involved in actually working in the world to meet these needs. A man may share in his prayer his concern for peace, and yet, in his own little world and yet in his own little world, be unwilling to change his private attitude of antagonism or prejudice toward his fellows. Obviously such prayer would be meaningless. (Meditations of the Heart 26)
So as Lent begins I ask myself: how will I help meet the needs of those made vulnerable by the war. I have been researching the organizations we have supported in the past to see which will be most effective in the relief efforts – not just for those still in Ukraine but also for the hundreds of thousands fleeing the country. World Vision and World Relief come to mind but I am sure there are others I will think of in the future. I want to be open to help financially wherever we are able. That is a small way in which we can contribute to the creation of beauty in the midst of ashes.
Then I think – we are financially secure at the moment and able to absorb the higher gas and food prices, but there are so many in my own neighborhood who are not able to. I wonder, are there people I should buy a tank of gas for each week? Or a bag of groceries? Perhaps my support of the local food bank and my church’s discretionary fund which goes to vulnerable and needy people is another way that I can stand against the war in Ukraine. Perhaps this is one way that I can create beauty in the midst of the ashes too.
Maybe it requires a change of attitude too. I resent the higher gas and food prices. I want to complain about them. We are used to cheap food and cheap gas, and resent increases in prices. Maybe absorbing these increases without complaint is one way I can bring a little bit of beauty in the midst of the ashes too.
Last week, Lilly and I facilitated a wonderful virtual Lenten retreat Finding Beauty in the Ashes of Lent. It was therapeutic and renewing. Its theme seems even more important this week and I really do encourage you to take advantage of its availability now as an online course. We all need the renewal that creating beauty out of ashes can give us, and the journey through Lent is one way to find that. I hope you will join us in the journey.
Prayerfully consider one way that you could help create beauty out of the ashes of the war and of other situations where people are particularly vulnerable. What is God nudging you to do as you begin this journey through Lent?
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