What does my soul long to do?

by Hilary Horn

By Barbie Perks

My first reaction was: what a strange idea for a theme! But it is something I have been mulling over in my mind ever since I first read about it. Some thoughts have moved in and out of my mind over the last couple of weeks, one or two have remained constant and I have been forced out of my comfort zone to consider them. 

Connection – this has been a constant longing for some time now. Distance from loved ones, both physical and emotional, brings a feeling of dis-connection that is hard to live with. Sometimes the force behind the distancing of oneself in relationships is a drive to self-protect from an abusive situation; it becomes a necessary tool that enables healing of body and spirit. Whatever the reason, the loss is very real and results in a soul that is troubled, and remains ill at ease until the matter is resolved. David speaks of this condition often in various psalms. (Ps 31:9 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief; Ps 19:28 My soul is weary with sorrow..)

Security in our current work and political situations, life changes rapidly for many of us and it is hard to hold on to the things that make up the framework of our existence. This is when my soul looks to the Lord for security – the one unalterable fact of life for me is that God does not change. He remains the same faithful God He has always been. So whenever life throws a curve-ball at me, I can rest in the knowledge that God is there for me. (Ps 23:3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Ps 42:1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.)

Bitterness – a strange thought to entertain, I know, and not many would happily acknowledge that there are times in our lives when our soul grows bitter, but this is when I know I have to learn to look deeper at the roots and causes of the particular bitterness that flavours my life sometimes. God is always faithful to reveal to me what I need to do to overcome it. Job is an example of a person who found his life and soul very bitter during his trials and he acknowledged it and was not chastised for his feelings. (Job 7:11 “Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Job 10:1 I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.) 

Hope – is very difficult to define and explain to someone who does not think the same as I do. But in everything I am convinced that the only way to live victoriously is to live in hope. My soul longs for the victory that is still to come, and I know deep down that no matter what life throws at me, my hope is sure. (Hebrews 6:19a We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. 1 Thessalonians 5:23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.)

Two songs have been meaningful to me during these couple of weeks, I give you the links in case you may find them helpful too.

It is well with my soul

Let your living water flow – the visuals of this video help in meditating and immersing oneself in the living waters – very cleansing to the soul!!


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