God? Are You There?

post and all photos by June Friesen,

God? Are You there? Have you ever felt like God was not/is not there? Have you ever wondered whether among the trillions of people worldwide if you were ever even a name or person who crossed His mind, maybe that is how you have been feeling or feel even right now? In the past day or two, I, too, have been wondering with many questions and again I find myself in the place of asking God, “Why?” I went to the Psalms as it is usually the place where I can find solace and comfort and often times even the words that express my heart’s cry. Today, I was directed to Psalm 142.

Psalm 142 (The Message)

1-2 I cry out loudly to God, loudly I plead with God for mercy.
I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail:

3-7 “As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, you know how I’m feeling,
Know the danger I’m in, the traps hidden in my path.
Look right, look left— there’s not a soul who cares what happens!
I’m up against the wall, with no exit— it’s just me, all alone.
I cry out, God, call out: ‘You’re my last chance, my only hope for life!’
Oh listen, please listen; I’ve never been this low.
Rescue me from those who are hunting me down; I’m no match for them.
Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you in public.
Your people will form a circle around me and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!”

Why do I like this Psalm? It gives me permission to cry, permission to ask loudly for help, perhaps even yell for mercy. I am falling… I am losing all hope… I wonder… ‘why me God?’ I do not know where you find yourself today, but I am definitely feeling like the picture below with this twig suspended in midair separated from the tree that gave/gives it life. Is there really any hope – well, God’s presence is kind of like this – I may feel suspended in midair without hope, wondering if I will just flutter to the ground in death unnoticed? 

by June Friesen

GOD – I AM TRYING TO HANG ON

Suspended in mid-air
And it seems that few if any seem to care,
The breezes toss me to and fro
And I wonder when I will fall to that eerie space so far below?
Sometimes God it seems 
That just when I have conquered one issue 
Another slams me without warning
Causing me to once again go into a deep mourning.
It would be so much easier God
If at this time I did not just feel like a clod
Of dirt and water that feels undone once again –
Just when I thought I had conquered one last pain.
God I am trying to hang on desperately – 
But You know that it definitely 
Is the loneliest place yet where I am finding myself
Because really there is no one, absolutely no one who really knows this gulf…
(EXCEPT You God). 
And so today God, I am going to try to reach out to You once again – 
It is one of the hardest things that I have had to try to find faith to do – 
It would be so much easier if I could see You, 
If You were not so invisible – if only my eye could see You
If only …… if only……
If only let it be for me like it is for this twig – 
Suspended in air, hanging, swinging, depending only on You God
My one and only invisible gift of courage and strength
Found in You and in You alone.
Amen

(June Friesen 6/2021)

by June Friesen

I am not sure where you may find yourself today. Every one of us is facing different situations some of them just life situations and some of them seasonal situations and some of them related to the recent and ongoing Covid pandemic. It may be hard for you to see in this final photo that there is actually a fishline filament that is holding this twig suspended in air. As I stood and pondered this as I was hiking, it took me some time to see how it was that this twig was there. It is so like God in our lives. Sometimes we really do feel like a connected branch as it talks about in John 15 but if you are anything like me there are many times that I feel more like this twig. Presently I am struggling with my full vine connection in a situation – and I am sure there are others in situations who are also wondering if they are the twig suspended – and if the strand will all of a sudden let them drop when they are at their weakest point. I am thankful that God has assured us that when we are weakest then He is strongest. As Proverbs 3 tells us let us trust in God with our whole heart today and every day – especially when we feel suspended. 

God, we are so blessed that even when we do not stay closely connected to You in the times of difficulties You are an ever-present, unseen presence. God, may this floating twig continually remind us how closely and carefully You hold Your children in this world. Thank you for making me Your child not just today, but every day. Amen and amen. 

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