“… hospitality asks for the creation of an empty space, where the guests may find their own souls.”
~ Henri J.M. Nouwen (1932 – 1996)
It isn’t surety that heals,
Nor the giving of an answer,
What we have to do is allow,
A soul to be its own dancer.
As space is given in spades,
Healing comes into its own being,
It comes at the right time,
And the soul is left there, seeing.
HOSPITALITY is centrally a beautiful thing in the mode of ministry; the ministry of a soul’s healing. In the mode of host we have issued an invitation that all may come and find a home with us. Finding such a home necessarily means that the host is ready not so much to share their own burdens and therefore add to another’s burden, but that the host is ready to provide space for them in their struggle; to give meaning to the struggle because space is made for it to exist as it truly is.
This space is actually against providing an answer, because it acknowledges that it is space that people require to enter into their own suffering in order to find their own healing. Space is the great enabler.
Healing cannot abide in pat answers, as if a standard remedy would apply. The host with the answer, therefore, is disqualified, for they are closed off to the necessary allowance of space the person being ministered to needs. There is a sharp degree of nonsense in the very thought that one person’s answer might align with another’s.
The host is able to open their home – which is spiritual home and not a house – in order that the person who desires to be healed might find rest, respite, and cooperation in their pain.
There may be no such thing as an instant faculty for healing. Of course, this makes much sense to anyone who struggles to believe in miracles, not to say that miracles don’t occur. It just means that healing, whilst it is mysterious, isn’t in the order of the ridiculously sublime. There is an explainable process and outcome, even if the outcome is still somewhat mysterious.
***
There are no instant answers or experts in healing, but healing can come through the open space of hospitality. A host doesn’t have the answer, but they do provide space, to listen and to enquire with the person who is struggling, and to allow another soul to find his or her own healing.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
Steve Wickham is a Baptist Pastor who holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/ This post was first published here.
I hope that you are enjoying this series as much as I am. I appreciate the richness of the guest posts that have been contributed and look forward to what will continue to be contributed in the future. In case you have missed some of the posts here is the list so far. I have also included a couple of my favourite recipes in case you want to consider a little hospitality over the summer too.
Hospitality and the Prosperity Gospel: What’s in it for me? by Meredith Griffin
Hospitality and Listening – Lynne Baab
Hospitality to the Poor, Oppressed and Marginalized As A Way of Life – Mark Votava
Embracing the Wild Hospitality of God
A Hospitality of Openness – Kate Kennington Steer
An Adventure of Amazing Hospitality By Fay Williams
Hospitality for the Gluten Free
Hospitality As A Call For All Of Life by Lynne Baab
A Celtic Hospitality Liturgy
Radical Hospitality – A Reading List
An Invitation to Summer Hospitality.
The Most Delicious Carrot Cake I Have Ever Tasted
Redeeming the Curse – Count your Blessings
Welcoming Angels Unawares by Amy Boucher Pye
Guests of the World.
Cooking Is Not A Spectator Sport.
Strangers, Friends, Angels Unawares
Communion not Conversion, Slow Church Not Fast Food
Sharing Food, Sharing Life.
Pear and Raspberry Bread – A Delicious Alternative to Banana Bread
Making Bread – Slowly
Amazing Quinoa muffins
Hunza Pie – Great Way to Use Greens
A Wonderful Apple Cake
I made this carrot cake for a gathering over the weekend. It is the best I have ever tasted – even better the next day.It is definitely going to be a feature of our hospitality over the summer. Unlike many carrot cakes it is not too sweet. The honey gives it an out of this world flavour, it is healthy and does not have the oily taste that so many carrot cakes do. I adapted it from this Healthier Carrot Cake that I found at Natasha’s kitchen. Try it and enjoy!
Ingredients for the Carrot Cake:
3 cups carrots, peeled and grated
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
4 eggs at room temp
1 cup honey (preferably local & raw)
1/2 cup canola oil, safflower, or sunflower oil.
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup applesauce
1 cup walnuts or pecans – finely chopped (optional)
Ingredients for Cream Cheese Frosting
2 cups powdered (icing or confectioner’s) sugar
16 oz cream cheese at room temp
8 oz butter softened
1 tbsp vanilla
To Decorate
1/2 to 3/4 cup walnuts or pecans finely chopped to sprinkle on top.
1/4 cup honey
I like to sprinkle the nuts over the top and drizzle the honey over the top whether I put frosting (icing) on the cake or not.
Cake:
Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease 9″x13″ dish (preferably glass) with butter or oil.
1. In a medium bowl sift together flour, baking soda baking powder and cinnamon. Add grated carrots and 1 cup of nuts and mix until they are coated evenly with flour.
2. In a large bowl beat eggs on high speed until foamy (about 1 minute) Add 1 cup honey and beat on high another 4 minutes. Blend in oil, vanilla and applesauce.
3. Fold the flour/carrot mix about 1 cup at a time and mix with a spatula until it is just incorporated into the batter.
4. Spread the batter evenly over the baking dish. If you are not planning to use frosting, sprinkle nuts over top and bake at 350 F for 40-45 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
5. Let cake cool completely before adding frosting or drizzling remaining honey over the cake.
Cream Cheese Frosting:
Beat 8 oz softened butter with 2 cups powdered sugar on low speed until combined. (About 1 minute) then slowly increase to high and beat until the mixture is pale and fluffy.
Cut cream cheese into about 8 pieces and slowly add. Mix until combined. Once all of the cream cheese is incorporated mix for another minute. Add vanilla and mix until combined. Refrigerate frosting until ready to use. If it has been refrigerated for a long period allow to soften to make it easier to spread.
I wrote this prayer at the beginning of the week and have used it as part of my daily meditation ever since. The imagery of God’s living and cleansing water flowing over us is very powerful in the Bible. Water is a precious gift that renews, refreshes and restores us.
I was reminded of that this morning as I read about Nestle’s water privatization push and about the drought in California. I think of it too as I remember those who do not have access to clean water and pray for those like our friends at the Overflow Project who help dig wells and provide fresh water.
Water is a gift in so many ways. As you pray this prayer today I hope that you will remember that.
Today’s post in the series Hospitality: Opening Doorways to the Kingdom is written by Meredith
Griffin.
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I live a little over an hour’s drive from Lakewood Church, Joel Osteen’s mega-church that meets in a former sports arena in central Houston, Texas. Each Sunday, over 16,000 people attend the main campus, while thousands more attend satellite campuses and even millions more watch Osteen from their televisions in at least 100 different countries. Osteen’s first book, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential ranked #1 on The New York Times Best Seller List and sold over 4 million copies. What is Osteen’s message and what makes it so attractive to people all over the world?
Osteen promises we are due God’s blessing of success- safety, health, and wealth when we give our resources over to God. The message is prosperity gospel, which requires not only our financial resources, but a positive attitude, especially in the midst of hardship. Prosperity gospel claims healing when faith is strong enough. It focuses on our lives now as we wait in eager expectation for things to come together for us, where we finally get our big break, our chance to shine. Prosperity gospel is about today, rather than eternal life to come. It’s a promise of control and who wouldn’t like a little more control over their lives? An extension of prosperity gospel, I would argue, is vending machine gospel, as my husband likes to call it. Vending machine gospel uses the same principal. Like a vending machine, if I put my coins in (praying hard enough, tithing, or giving the last of my resources, for example), I am guaranteed my candy bar of safety, health, and wealth.
Where do Osteen and others like him get their idea that we can turn to God with an open hand after doing a little good? If preachers of prosperity or vending machine gospel look to scripture for examples, I admitthere are instances of God’s people prospering as a direct result of their hospitality. The story of the prophet Elijah and a widow come to mind. A generous widow shares the last of her flour and oil with Elijah who had been entrusted by God to warn King Ahab of a great famine in Israel. Ahab had introduced to his people Baal, a false god who was said to provide rain. God protects Elijah by commanding him to hide in a ravine, drinking from a brook near the Jordan river and eating meat and bread brought to him each morning and evening by ravens.
When the brook dries, God commands Elijah to find a widow to supply him with food. Elijah obeys and when he asks the widow for food, she shares with him that she was gathering a couple of sticks so that she could go home and prepare it for herself and her son, so that they “might eat it and die.” You can sense the desperation in the widow’s response. She was quick to bring Elijah a little water, but when he asked for the last of her food, she found herself afraid. I imagine the widow wasn’t thinking of herself, but of her son. How could she share her son’s last meal with an unkempt stranger from the wilderness? Elijah promises that if she shares with him, God will ensure that her “jar of flour will not be used up and [her] jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord gives rain on the land.”
Following prosperity gospel’s logic in the case of Elijah and the widow, we seek opportunities to show hospitality; to share even the last of what we have because we too could be greatly rewarded like the widow. In fact, Elijah goes on to live with the widow and her son. Food is provided each day for the three of them for years to come. Later on, God even brings the widow’s son back to life when he falls ill and dies. Things worked out great for the widow, but how many of us want to raise our hands and share our own experience or the experience of watching another who was generous and hospitable, or who maybe prayed fervently for something, but who still suffered, despite their living (in the words of Osteen) their “best life now”?
At the age of 21, I took a semester off of school to try teaching in rural Tanzania. I saw the best life; a life of children playing under trees and not one neighbor going hungry. I also saw pain. It was estimated that over seventy percent of the people in Igoda and its surrounding villages had HIV or AIDS. One student in particular, Eliza, was known as caretaker to her sick, widowed mother who lived villages away. When I heard Eliza’s mother, or Mama Eliza as locals would call her, needed a blanket, I jumped at the chance. I bought a wool blanket the day before from a local shop and followed Eliza on her weekly journey to visit her mother. When we arrived, Mama Eliza demanded we rest ourselves inside her grass-roofed home. Her few possessions were arranged neatly on the dirt floor- a straw mat, a few spoons, knives, bowls, and a large woven basket.
After we gave Mama Eliza the blanket and had a few pleasant exchanges which exhausted my knowledge of the local language, Mama Eliza spoke firmly to her daughter, pointing to the woven basket. Eliza nodded and turned to me. “Teacher? My mother says that you must stay for dinner. My mother does not have much food. Her crop is not good right now. See in her basket? She has only a few potatoes and greens. But she will only be happy if she can share her crop with you.” I knew I could not refuse the meal because it would devastate Mama Eliza, but how could I eat the few calories her body so desperately needed? Then it occurred to me. Mama Eliza, the sick, poor widow, was giving the last of her food to be hospitable, to say thank you.
Mama Eliza was “living her best life now,” but was not given the same promise as the widow Elijah encountered. She was not motivated by safety, health, or wealth, but simply because it was what you do. When someone has traveled all day to bring you a gift, you invite them in and you feed them. You host. I do not know what became of Mama Eliza, but my guess is that she passed away years ago as she was without proper medication or care for her illness. I could not go on to live and provide for Eliza and her mother, much less bring anyone back to life like God empowered Elijah to do. Mama Eliza’s hospitality towards me was risky. Unlike the widow in 1 Kings and unlike the promises of prosperity gospel, Mama Eliza was probably without food in the following days because she had shared with me.
So why be hospitable?What’s in it for us if we might turn out like Mama Eliza- hungry and without? Perhaps it is in the act of hospitality itself, especially when it’s uncomfortable or even painful, that makes it worth it. Worth it, not because there is always a gain or because we feel good about ourselves afterwards, but worth it because we become more like Christ in the process. It’s worth it because we are shaped by our giving.
Christ showed us the ultimate act of hospitality when he came to the earth, our home, and lived as one of us. Christ extended his hospitality to the cross where he died despite his life of generosity, love, and miracles. Our life experiences show us that we are not guaranteed happiness, safety, health, or wealth when we are hospitable. Even when we give the very last of our resources, no matter how sacrificial or painful, we are not promised our time to shine or as the vending machine gospel would say, our candy bar. What we can count on; however, is knowing ourselves better and maybe even knowing Christ more intimately than before. Perhaps when Mama Eliza gave the last of her crop to a stranger, she was thinking of what Jesus says in Matthew, that whoever welcomes another is welcoming Christ himself. We are hospitable, not to be one step closer to success or to reap in the world at hand, but in the words of the Nicene Creed, we are hospitable so that we may better look to the life of the world to come.
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Meredith Griffin lives on Galveston Island in Texas. She enjoys spending time outdoors with her husband and two young children. She holds a Bachelors degree in English Literature and Education as well as a Masters in Counseling from the Episcopal Seminary of the Southwest.
Tom and I have just been together with friends Chris and Naomi Lawrence in New York. One thing I discovered is that Naomi is a passionate yarn bomber. She has found this to be a wonderfully creative way to tie her floristry background to her art and sculpture.
I interviewed her during our recent trip and put together the following video presentation. Wish I was better at editing videos though. However I think you will get a good idea of this amazing gift that Naomi has.
Earlier this week I reposted this link to a video meditation called A Good Day by Brother. Its popularity encouraged me to post this video which is another beautiful meditation by Brother David Steidl-Rast accompanied by Gary Malkin’s inspired music, looks towards the possibility of our world uniting in an overflow of gratitude.
If you enjoyed this you might like to visit Gratefulness.org/ where you can find more of Brother Steidl-Rast’s meditations.
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