Wait

by Ana Lisa de Jong

Used with permission by Ana Lisa de Jong

As I write this I am standing, not sitting.  Six days past, working in the garden, I pulled a lower back muscle and have found myself confined to the bed and couch.  I cannot sit down without pain.  There is slow and consistent recovery, aided by a great physio and lots of love from friends and family, but not having the internet on my phone or not owning a laptop, I have missed so much sitting at the computer connecting with my Christian writer friends, being blessed and fed by quotes, articles, and devotionals to which I subscribe.

The day before my back injury God spoke so clearly verse after verse in my bible about lifting the burdens from my back.  When I then injured it so badly, I struggled to make sense of what I had thought I had heard, and understood, and claimed as a promise of healing and restoration.  Perhaps I simply hurt my back because I went outside and gardened in the cold of the early morning, when my body was cold (most likely), perhaps I needed a good break and to slow down and come away for a while; and yet perhaps I had reached a point where I was weighed down with so much, that in his wisdom and love he was pointing out to me that if we are not careful our burdens become so heavy, they break our backs.

Listening to God, sometimes I feel I hear him so clearly, and other times I don’t know if what we hear is our own voices or his; often I think he has to break through the din caused by our own fears, anxiety, guilt.  Sometimes I want to provide an explanation to what may be beyond explanation, or beyond the need for me to understand; and the ‘reason’ that I give for things is often mine, not his.  Although I have rested in his presence this last week, he has been quieter than I felt he was before the injury.  Maybe times of brokenness and healing towards restoration are times of silent reconstruction.  Just as the deep injured muscles in my back slowly restore, the healing work in my heart and mind is tended to by him with the same silent, tender, but thorough care.

If there is one word I have heard this past week, it is ‘wait’

To this end, I found and  re-read the old poem below which I wrote once for a friend who was at crossroads in his life.

We lie in wait, trusting in him, knowing his ways are not our ways, his thoughts not ours, but his purposes – always for our good.

We wait,
We wait for the evening’s respite, for the week’s end, for the Spring
to come, again.
We wait for the weather to clear, for the sun to shine, for the days
to lengthen.

We wait to take a break, we wait for opportunity, we wait for time
to do, all we’ve been planning.
We wait for blossoms to bud on the burgeoning wood, for the leaves
to green, and the bird’s dawn chorus.

We wait for health, and wholeness, for full healing to come and
revive our spirits.
We wait for inspiration and words of discernment, and a sense of God’s
clear calling.

We wait because we know

There’s better around the corner.  That love grows,
and time heals, and joy comes in the morning.
Which is true, but it is also true too, that God, our God
waits with patience, ‘to be gracious to us’ too.

He waits,

While we wait for the tide to turn, and the river to subside,
and the leaves to change.
He waits at the river ford where we make our own way,
challenges the stepping stones.

He waits while He has us, moulding to His hand’s shape,
in the heat of His kiln.
He waits while we thirst in the wilderness, patience
doing its perfect work.

He waits for our yearning to cease, and for us to recognise
the blessing in every heartbeat.
As the acorn is split open, in the moment life is found.
Not ahead and not behind.

So He waits,

While we wait for Summer to come, for seasons to change,
and His favour to return.
He would that we would hear Him calling in the moments we discard,
wring out life for all its worth.

As He waits in the here and now.

 

Ana Lisa de Jong
Living Tree Poetry

“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!”

Isaiah 13:18 (NIV)

Today’s post is part of our series on listening.